We beat up on Chicago Bears running back Cedric Benson throughout the season – weekly updates on his quest for 1,000 yards; he fell 326 yards short, but also missed five games due to injury – but the constant ribbing was nothing like what the Lower Colorado River Authority police allegedly did to him Saturday night in Texas. Benson spoke to the Chicago Tribune and painted a vivid picture of some overly aggressive cops:

“I’m thinking, I passed all the tests, did everything right. Then the officer told me we needed to go to land to take more tests. I politely asked him why we needed to go to land to take more tests when I took every test. Then he sprayed me with mace, on his boat … I’m not handcuffed. I’m not under arrest. I’m not threatening him. I’m not pushing him. I’m not touching him. And he sprays me right in my eye … Once we got to land, the Travis County police grabbed me and kicked my feet from under me. So I landed on my back while I was handcuffed. They held me down and held the water hose over my face. I couldn’t breathe, I’m choking, I’m begging the cops, ‘Please stop. Please stop.’ Then they picked me up and dragged me backward toward their car. And I’m still being polite, asking them, ‘Sir, could you please allow me to walk like a man to your cop car?’ They just kept dragging me on.”

Here’s the phrase that really surprised us: Benson has been questioned by police on the lake six times since he got the boat? When you factor in football, how many times could Benson have taken the boat out in six or seven months? Either Cedric’s a rowdy captain, or the police have it in for him. (Or, door C: He longs to be a reserve in Minnesota so he can captain that Love Boat.) We actually are starting to wonder about the police – how hard could a guy be partying with his mom on the boat?

Cedric Benson arrested, alleges cop abuse (Tribune)
Ced Benson’s version of Gilligan’s Island (Chicago Bull)