Your friendly auto racing addicted guest poster, Nick Bromberg, here. I somehow convinced TBL to give me the keys to the castle so I could live blog some races, starting with tonight’s race at Darlington.

The Lady in Black has fresh pavement, but still has her aura and her mystique (hat tip: Curt Schilling). Every car will probably get a Darlington Stripe (AKA: rub the paint off scraping the wall) tonight, so if you’re like me and your perfect Saturday night means a NASCAR race on the television, follow along after the jump.

–While we wait for Fox to switch us from baseball to NASCAR; now is as good a time as any to discuss what happened on Pole Day at Indianapolis. Scott Dixon got the pole, and survived a late qualifying run by his teammate Dan Wheldon, who ended up second. Target Chip Ganassi starts 1-2, Team Penske 3-4, while everyone’s favorite female racer Danica Patrick starts fifth. And yes, I watched all seven hours of qualifying coverage.

–Darrell Waltrip just said that this race is going to take four hours. Oh boy.

–Digger plush toys and mugs? Really?

–Harold King does the invocation and doesn’t mention the race’s title sponsor. Gotta give ol’ Harold credit.

–Country artist Julie Roberts–a one hit wonder–does the national anthem. She has gained some weight since her 15 seconds of fame. To quote a buddy sitting next to me “those aren’t love handles, those are love bannisters.”

–I could win fuel for a year from Sunoco. Too bad there are no Sunocos anywhere close to where I live.

–At least Reed Sorenson agrees that Mexican food is a pre-race no-no.

–Qualifying speed at Darlington in 1950 was 82 MPH. This year it was 179. That’s good information, Fox.

–The drivers moms do the command to start engines, however, I can’t be sure because it was completely intelligible.

–No. Danica Patrick is not naked.

–Dale Junior’s paint scheme is pretty sweet tonight. Can’t go wrong with retro Mountain Dew. Travis Kvapil has a good one too, although if anyone knows who Kvapil is, I’ll give you a dollar.

–PREDICTION: Tony Stewart completes the weekend sweep, and it takes us 7 laps for our first caution.

–Robby Gordon and Kasey Kahne wrecked their primary cars in qualifying and went to backup cars. Jimmie Johnson wrecked two cars in practice

–And here we go….

–There goes my prediction. Both on race winner and caution laps. Dammit.

–From the replay, Sadler dove under Stewart and just didn’t have any room. Looks like Sadler has considerable damage, while Stewart could be able to continue on, depending on if the toe got knocked out. Stewart gave Sadler a thumbs up before he refired his car.

–The toe is out 1.5 inches on Stewart’s car, but he’s passing cars. Maybe there’s hope.

–Kyle Petty slams the wall; caution?

–Nope; but Sam Hornish hits the wall and causes a caution. Sam, there’s a #77 car entered at Indy without a driver. I think it has your name on it.

–This race is going to take forever.

–Dale Junior hasn’t been passed. Although Mr. Kyle is coming

–Wait a second, Kyle Busch wrecked Junior last week? No way!

–Junior falls to fourth as Kyle is driving away from the field. After more pit road adjustments, Stewart is passing cars again after restarting 40th.

–Kyle is about to start coming up on lapped traffic. Some pretty good cars bringing up the rear including Bowyer and Newman.

–Kyle can’t get around Montoya; which is bringing Biffle back to him. This is keeping Stewart and Newman on the lead lap for the time being.

–Kyle stripes it as Biffle passes him. Now Biffle can’t get around Montoya.

–Darlington paints the walls white before every race, and just 44 laps in; the walls in the corners have almost a complete black streak on them. The easiest comparable would probaby be trying to learn how to drive on a NASCAR video game and slapping the wall every turn.

–Green flag pit stops have begun on lap 58.

–The pit stop cycles are a little off because of the early cautions. If we were to get a caution here, the field would be incredibly jumbled. As a fan of chaos, I hope it happens.

–Larry Mac just said “esculate”

–Chaos didn’t happen; and we’re back to normal. Kyle retakes the lead on lap 73

–After 88 laps, Kyle still leads. Brake rotors are bright red, and we’ve got 280 laps left.

–The race has really strung out; however, this could be a repeat of last night, which saw a very quick middle followed by an extremely sluggish final quarter.

–Green flag pit stops again on lap 120. When was the last time we had a NASCAR race with two consecutive green flag stop sequences?

–Biffle passes Kyle again. This has been a two car race

–Replay shows that Kyle almost turned Biffle into the fence. Biffle with a heck of a job to save the car.

–Darrell and Larry have been really calm tonight. Nothing for me to make fun of. Except maybe for the DIGGER PLUSH TOYS.

–Can Kyle Busch really break out the “in my whole life” line?

–CAUTION! It’s going to get wild after this.

–Larry Mac just said “my brother from another mother.” Do I even need to make a joke about that?

–Hey! It’s Kvapil! I love that car

–Harvick absolutely slams the wall after the restart and we get a caution about a lap after it happened.

–This may jeopardize Harvick’s DNF streak, depending on how badly he knocked the steering out.

–JUNIOR’S WINNING!

–What’s a “skosh?” (I know how he’s referencing it, but it’s just one of those DW terms)

–After being forced to the tail end of the longest line for a missing lug nut; Kyle is making his way back through the field. However, he may not get to the front before he wrecks.

–Junior gets a rather large stripe, allowing Jeff Gordon to pass him for third

–Fox just said that there were 20 Darlington Stripes tonight. Looks like they are taking their cues from the people counting the Iraqi death toll. (sorry, I had to. No more politics)

–Biffle says he has a vibration. No good.

–Biffle hits pit road. Thinks the transmission is broken. Definitely no good. His chances are kaput.

–Green flag stops once again. The four hour race prediction may be in jeopardy; which is a great thing.

–David Ragan misses pit road after he had inherited the lead

–Biffle actually ends up in first because he got fresh tires a few laps ahead of everyone else. Maybe he’s not done.

–Kyle smacks the wall trying to run down Jimmie Johnson for seventh

–Denny Hamlin has worked his way to third with just over 150 laps to go. Maybe this will be payback.

–The commercials asking to “celebrate the tradition” of the Coke Zero 400 are unintentionally funny. This is the first year that Coke has sponsored the race.

–Dave Blaney in fourth???????

–Biffle is done. Dave Blaney is now third; with Truex first and Hamlin second.

–We just had a wreck during caution. That is definitely a rarity.

–And Vickers, who was involved in the wreck on pit road, hits the wall bring out another caution with 119 to go.

–The Hendrick cars stayed out; while almost everyone else came in. This should be fun.

–Kyle has worked his way back to second. 105 to go.

–I’m going to go out on a limb and say that all the yaw that the Roush teams have put in their cars is the reason that they feel that they have a loose wheel.

–Kyle passes Gordon for the lead while Casey Mears loses a tire and smashes the wall, but doesn’t bring out a caution. NASCAR has gotten suddenly caution stingy

–Caution #7 with 90 laps to go. Everyone will hit pit road, but can’t make it the rest of the way.

–Kyle Busch has led 1200 laps in NASCAR’s top three series this year. Unreal.

–Gordon retakes the lead as they leave pit road. Clint Bowyer, who was junk earlier, is now in 8th after taking two tires.

–Stewart is ahead of the leaders two laps down with a beat up car. If he catches a caution, he’s only one lap down and has a chance at a top 20.

–Fox’s feed has been abominable lately. Maybe it’s the lightning and rain, but I’m getting it over the air instead of from my satellite.

–Caution with 65 laps to go; and Kyle comes out first after pit stops despite having a right side of the car that is probably closer to the driver’s seat that it is to the right wheels. “Using up” the right side may be an understatement.

–Chris Myers just said “Kyle Busch aggressive here with Kyle Busch.” Sure, whatever you say, Chris.

–You can see Kyle’s original paint scheme on the right side. Sheesh.

–50 laps to go; Kyle still in first; Carl Edwards all the way up to second after qualifying 36th

–40 to go; and Fox is more worried about the battle for the Lucky Dog than the battle for the lead. Tells you how good Busch has been

–30 to go; Kyle still smoking the field; Stewart in position to get the Lucky Dog but Kyle is about to lap Kasey Kahne

–20 to go; Guess who…

–Darrell Waltrip is talking about how everyone thought tonight was going to be carnage. Darrell, you were one of that everyone. Shut up.

–10 to go; Do I even have to say?

–WINNER: Kyle Busch. Just flat out ridiculous.

–Well, thanks everyone, it’s been fun, even though the race wasn’t as ridiculously action packed as expected. I hope I haven’t lost any other chances to do this again. Maybe I’ll be ballsy and attempt to document the Memorial Day 1100 for all of you stuck at a computer that weekend. Who knows. Be sure to check my blog and I promise I’ll keep updating it.