The quest for a witty, aggressive intern continues. Today, we have for you Tyler Duffy, a grad student in journalism. He chose to write about the demise of Ronaldinho, the two-time FIFA Player of the Year (2004-2005). We’ve actually been able to narrow some of the requirements of an intern – you’re going to have to generate one post a day. If you don’t think you can swing that – and we’re not talking about a navel-gazing opinion piece, but something news-based, or at least zeitgeisty, please notify us of this via email and take yourself out of the running.

Rumors place Ronaldinho’s career in doubt after a tabloid-titillating secret medical assessment at a Barcelona clinic allegedly described his physical condition as “ominous.” The Brazil and Barcelona star is currently rehabbing a torn leg muscle suffered on April 3. This medical assessment allegedly scared away Italian giants A.C. Milan who had negotiated a four-year contract worth over $10 million per season, pending a transfer agreement with Barcelona.

The Spanish press, never ones to avoid errant speculation, attribute his trouble to steroid use, citing “a powerful nocturnal anabolic formula” intended to aid his recovery.

A consensus best player in the world just two years ago, the 28-year-old now resembles a post-stabbing Dorian Gray. His non-existent training regimen and his nights that make Ronaldo’s look tame have finally caught up with him, leaving the striker a fat, oft-injured, shell of his former self.

His girth’s main rival has been his ego, which has infested the Camp Nou clubhouse like an inflamed polyp, alienating Barcelona players, staff and anyone within a considerable radius, ruining any ties he once had. Matched with his poor performance on the pitch – only eight goals in 17 league appearances – his situation has become untenable.

Ray Hudson’s “buck-toothed beauty” may well be “skipping through the tulips” for another team next season, but not if Barcelona sticks to the $62 million asking price.