Brad Penny and the Curse of the Celebrity Girlfriend
Athletes and Celebrities, Baseball May 19th. 2008, 9:00am
Pat Burrell’s best statistical season came when he was dating Heather Mitts; they split and he went in the tank for years. Tom Brady won Super Bowl titles while dating actress Bridget Moynahan; he’s titleless since Gisele showed up. Carl Pavano celebrated his World Series ring in 2003 with Alyssa Milano, but they split after his banner 2004 and his career was never been the same. Matt Leinart’s NFL career began with the ominous stench of Paris Hilton, and he’s yet to recover. Reggie Bush’s horrible sophomore season can be attributed to Kim Kardashian. The celebrity girlfriend hex is undeniable. (The flip also exists, but that’s another post for another day.)
Last year, Brad Penny started the season 13-1 with a 2.51 ERA while dating actress Elisha Dushku. Apparently, they split in the offseason – she’s now inexplicably with this character – and we decided to take a peek at how Penny has opened this season devoid of a celebrity girlfriend. The answer: 5-4, 5.09 ERA. He’s experiencing stiffness. If he gets roughed up today, is a DL trip in his near future?
Requisite drool-worthy Dushku shot after the jump.
32 Responses to “Brad Penny and the Curse of the Celebrity Girlfriend”
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May 19th, 2008 at 9:08 AM
Good. So Romo and the cowgirls will be 7-9 this year.
May 19th, 2008 at 9:10 AM
Carl Pavano was on the ‘04 Red Sox?
May 19th, 2008 at 9:12 AM
bark like a dog
rrrrrufff
May 19th, 2008 at 9:14 AM
Pavano won a title with the Marlins in ‘04
May 19th, 2008 at 9:15 AM
Me too.
May 19th, 2008 at 9:17 AM
Another example. Carol Alt killed Alexi Yashin’s career. I think he plays in Siberia now.
May 19th, 2008 at 9:18 AM
shit, it was ‘03
May 19th, 2008 at 9:20 AM
yes, good catch on the title
thanks
May 19th, 2008 at 9:24 AM
The Tigers are more overhyped then the Yankees.
It is probably for the best. She looks a little sickly to me.
May 19th, 2008 at 9:26 AM
Sickly? Wow. I think she looks rather perfect. She’s always been one of my favorites
May 19th, 2008 at 9:26 AM
So having a celebrity girlfriend either helps you or it doesn’t?
That’s why we pay you the big bucks, TBL!
May 19th, 2008 at 9:29 AM
This is all kinds of confusing. From what I can tell, having a celebrity girlfriend is great for your on-field performance, except when it isn’t.
May 19th, 2008 at 9:29 AM
to the NBA fans: First, we’ll honor the Celtics (shortly). Two hours from now, you can tear lebron apart in a post all about him. so be patient.
if Dushku looks sickly, all of hollywood is nasty.
May 19th, 2008 at 9:34 AM
Lebron doesnt deserve to get torn apart.
/biggest Lebron hater on this site
May 19th, 2008 at 9:35 AM
Wow, that’s your first non-negative comment in months! Well, i guess it’s passive-negative. We hope one day for a positive contribution again, you know, like the old days, when you actually enjoyed the blog!
May 19th, 2008 at 9:40 AM
Thanks for clearing that up.
May 19th, 2008 at 9:42 AM
Maj should spend more time working on his own shitty blog. I never tire of the Jerry Jones/Wade Phillips bits.
/So played out…
May 19th, 2008 at 9:47 AM
Going back a little further in time, let’s not forget Anna Kournikova who took both Pavel Bure and Sergei Fedorov into the tank.
May 19th, 2008 at 9:48 AM
@The Maj – I think it’s pretty clear what he means:
Burrell + Mitts = good performance
Burrell – Mitts = bad performance
Brady + Moynihan = Super Bowls
Brady – Moynihan = No super bowls
Carl Pavano + Alyssa Milano = World Series Title
Carl Pavano – Alyssa Milano = Horrible performance
And so on…
May 19th, 2008 at 9:50 AM
Tony Romo +/- Jessica Simpson = Overrated with no significant victories
May 19th, 2008 at 9:50 AM
THanks, Atl. Not sure why we’re so ornery this AM.
Bush + nobody = Heisman, NFC title game
Bush + KK = terrible, injured
Leinart + nobody = Heisman, National title
Leinart + slew of women = nothing
Feel free to add John’s Anna Kournikova example, and there are certainly more.
May 19th, 2008 at 9:52 AM
Enrique Iglesias hasn’t had a single hit since he hooked up with Anna K.
May 19th, 2008 at 9:52 AM
Pat Burrell + Heather Mitts = best season ever.
Pat Burrell – HM = tank
Nick P = head asplode
May 19th, 2008 at 9:53 AM
Fixed.
May 19th, 2008 at 9:56 AM
Brad Penny just wants to know who to date in order to lower his WHIP.
May 19th, 2008 at 9:57 AM
Maj – Mylie Cyrus
May 19th, 2008 at 9:58 AM
Maj he might get lower his WHIP fucking your mother.
/Wilder Valderamma
May 19th, 2008 at 9:59 AM
Far be it from us to pick his new girl, but in theme with this humorous post … she works at the gap at his local mall. Feel free to substitute ‘gap’ for any clothing store or food establishment.
May 19th, 2008 at 11:12 AM
I think we can draw some conslusions from this discussion. The more of a skank/high-maintenance/party goer the girl is, the worse your athletic achievement will be with her. The more wholesome/low-maintenance/homely the girl is at the time of your courtship, the better your athletic achievement will be. Basically its better to date someone like Amanda Byrnes than it is to date Paris Hilton or Lindsay Lohan.
May 19th, 2008 at 11:14 AM
At least its better to date Amanda Byrnes if you want to win a championship. But its better to date Paris or Lindsay if you want to catch a disease, have a three way, or snort coke of her bare ass.
May 19th, 2008 at 11:40 AM
In Leinart’s defense, he is playing for the worst owner in sports(yes, worse than Donald Sterling), Bill “I’m Too Cheap to Wear Real Ties” Bidwill, so he has to do something to help him forget.
May 19th, 2008 at 11:47 AM
The second half of that statement is incorrect. While his best year was indeed 2002, outside of the horrible batting average in 2003 (.209), he’s been quite productive since 2002, not necessarily as good, but certainly not ‘in the tank.’ He has never hit fewer than 21 HR and had a 2005 that looked a lot like 2002 (32, 117, .281/.389/.504). His HR totals since 2002: 21-24-32-29-30.