Replacing Heisman Finalists Isn’t Easy
College Football July 2nd. 2008, 1:30pm
With July being one of the most dull sports months on the calendar, we may subject you to a few more college football posts than you’d like. August is when the NFL takes over, and last year we found it challenging to wedge in a sufficient number of college football posts leading up to the season, thus the move to July. To whet your appetite, Intern Parrish takes a peek at how the loss of Heisman Trophy finalists will affect each team.
Around this time every year college football fans are inundated with piece after piece about how teams will miss stars from the previous season. What about teams that won’t miss stars that have moved on? I went back and looked at who received votes for the Heisman that are now departed and looked at how their teams will fare without their services.
Oregon (QB, Dennis Dixon): The Ducks lose one of the best QB’s in the nation (as well as a 1st round pick in RB Jonathan Stewart), but they have a veteran offensive line (five seniors). Either sophomores Nate Costa or Justin Roper will be the team’s starting QB, though Roper may have a slight edge after leading the Ducks to a 56-21 dismantling of South Florida in the Sun Bowl. If all else fails, Phil Knight can always go find some kid and buy his services (I kid Duck fans).
LSU (DT, Glenn Dorsey): While most teams would crawl into a ball and weep after losing someone as dominate as Dorsey, apparently baby-eating defensive tackles grow on trees in Louisiana. Al Woods should be able to fill in nicely for the departed Dorsey, which should enable stud DE Tyson Jackson to wreck havoc on SEC QB’s.
Boston College (QB, Matt Ryan): Ouch. Not only do they lose the best QB in the country, but they also must face life with only one upperclassman starting on the offensive line (three freshmen). The good news is that a stout defense should carry the team through a meek early schedule, giving newbie QB Chris Crane time to prepare for the ACC schedule.
Arkansas (RB/QB/KR Darren McFadden): Some guy named Michael Smith will take over for the departed badass. Good luck to you sir. Your first order of business: Stay out of handcuffs. Run DMC compiled over 2,200 yards—including 1,800 on the ground—and was responsible for 20 TD’s. Insert Bobby Douchebag at head coach and remove both McFadden and Felix Jones and you have the entire offensive burden on mediocre QB Casey (insert joke here) Dick.
Hawaii (QB, Colt Brennen): Yeah, they’re going to suck. Not only to they lose the most prolific passer in NCAA history, but they lost all three WR’s as well as an All-American LG. Oh yeah, and June Jones is in Texas. Tyler Graunke, who filled in admirably for Brennan last season (90 completions, 10 TDs, 1,200 yards), apparently will share the QB position with Inoke Funaki. All of this adds up to a 5-loss season in the crappy WAC.
123 Responses to “Replacing Heisman Finalists Isn’t Easy”
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July 2nd, 2008 at 1:33 pm
uh…no you don’t. what do you think will happen?
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:34 pm
Impossible.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:37 pm
Impossible TBl, keep em comin.
Good god that BC schedule is pitiful, they won’t be as good as last year but still might win 10 games. Ark is going to be baaadd, losing the two RB’s will hurt because that QB Dick (actual name) is not good.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Matt Ryan = Fraud. Best QB in the country, my ass.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:40 pm
Nothing but football would be alright with me.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:41 pm
College football is gheyer than Strahan.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:42 pm
you listed the best QB in the country at no. 1.
todd boeckman > matt ryan
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:42 pm
fixed.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:44 pm
Look, Mandel’s mailbag is out. Time to take the after-lunch shitter.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:46 pm
I wish the U was ranked so i can talk shit
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:47 pm
intern parrish > intern bill
please more CFB and NFL posts to get me through this summer
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:47 pm
a post, at some point this summer:
Most insufferable college fball fans,
OSU
ND
Michigan
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:47 pm
I hate Hawaii. I hope they suck for a long, long time.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:48 pm
We’re less than two months away from the big Pitt-Bowling Green clash. God help me, but nothing gives me a hop in my step quite like a Big East/MAC football contest! Good times, good times…
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Ryan wears Tebow pj’s.
/Gheytor fan
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Brohm > Henne > Ryan.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:49 pm
@TBL – you forgot Miami (FL) on your little list there.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:49 pm
/fixed
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:50 pm
Michigan’s in a landslide TBL.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:50 pm
and, to think, OSU is going to be loaded for the next decade…prepare to suffer, TBL.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:50 pm
@TBL- add U of Florida to that list. Down here in FL all they do is brag about this and that. I hate U of F
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:50 pm
TBL great post no one has ever discussed that one before
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:51 pm
shit sorry
/already knows everyone is gonna say osu
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:51 pm
TBL, USC cheerleaders should be in the list because they severely distract me from the game.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:51 pm
/probably why
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:51 pm
and TBL…how can OSU and ND fans be any more insufferable than ESS-EEEE-SEEE SPEEEEEEEED conference fans? irrational statements and straw man arguments with a hint of racism? yessir.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:53 pm
TSIWWAHP
(Translated: This Site Is Worthless Without A Hockey Post)
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:53 pm
TBL’s anti-Midwest bias. I bet they haven’t been to South Bend or Columbus in years. True ND fans (alums not subway alums) are some of the classiest and most knowledgeable fans in college football. Maybe I’m biased because I was treated well at the Horseshoe and am a Big Ten guy, but I admire the loyalty of Ohio State fans. I would agree that Michigan fans are insufferable though.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:53 pm
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:54 pm
If you did best fans in the country Nebraska would have to be in the Top 5.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:55 pm
@spencer: As a person who grew up in the north (was not a CFB fan before) and moved to the south (then went to UGA), I can safely say that that your assessment is absolutely correct. As insufferable as they may be, however, they throw some kick ass tailgates!
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:55 pm
foot-ball?
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:55 pm
Hint of racism? It’s full blown racism down here, cletus.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:55 pm
I wonder if anyone has kept track of the number arrests by conference.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Yes Ron, try to stay with us.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:56 pm
Nebraska fans belong in their own special category.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:57 pm
wonder if anyone has kept track of the number arrests by conference.
if they did it by schools, Penn State and Florida is tops
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:57 pm
now that is true. i want to go to the Cocktail Party or any LSU night game just for the tailgating.
July 2nd, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Looking at you August; let it begin.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:01 pm
YOU MUST BE KIDDING WITH ALL THE MATT RYAN HATE. If he had a single reciever of the caliber of the Michigan/Florida/Ohio State sixth string recievers the dude would have won heisman. He SINGLE HANDEDLY guided the offense to wins against Virginia Tech and Clemson, including some of the most incredibly clutch performances of the year last year for any team. He was the best passing quarterback in college football last year, and if BC had a better running game, he would have been the best quarterback in general in college football last year. Take your heads out of your asses.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:01 pm
ESSSS EEEEEEEE SEEEEEEEEEEE is #1 again! w00t, w00t!
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:01 pm
EDSBS kind of does this. Saban’s boys have them both beat. And, #2 is Missouri? Where is the U?
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:02 pm
I never went to the Cocktail Party during my time at UGA. I never could get tickets to the game and could not justify to my dad why I should spend money to drive all the way to a party in celebration of a football game I’m not going to watch. Like I said, my family is from the north, so excuse the ignorance please.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:02 pm
I live in Baton Rouge, LA.I have to admit though our fans are a little rough down here. Being a LSU football fan is like being in a deadly cult. But, the tailgating is awesome even at the smaller d-2 schools.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:02 pm
/un-cheap-shot-fixed
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:03 pm
One note about the “insufferable fans” list. We need to add Boston College simply because they are located in the Boston area.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Except more than half are not from Boston and do not root for Boston teams. Like me.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:04 pm
Spencer – I know it’s at least partly a joke, but it gets me every time when people talk about how racist southerners are. I’ve met many a northerner, or west coaster, or midwestern native, etc that is much more racist than many southerners. Again, I realize that you’re at least partly joking. It just irritates me. Kinda like losing to the SEC irritates you.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:06 pm
Why did Ryan have to come back from Va Tech and Clemson? Oh yeah, because he stunk it up the first three quarters of each game.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:06 pm
What’s a school in the Boston area that has a football team? It should be on the list by default.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:07 pm
@Beerman – I’m a UGA alum as well, but fortunate that my parents went to the Cocktail Party when I was growing up. So they were opposite of yours. They endorsed me going, and even paid for it a few years. Until I wrecked my car and got kicked out of a hotel for sticking saltine crackers in the key card slot.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:07 pm
@412- good to see them not on that list
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:07 pm
/DDT’d
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Sean Avery just signed w/ Dallas.
/three other people care
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Umm, no. Do some research and read the depth chart please. 1 senior, 1 junior, 3 sophomores are the starters right now. Two of the sophomores played significant time last year, and Boston College always attracts great lineman.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:08 pm
irish – Your boys are losing their street cred!
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:08 pm
Seriously, Gator fans are truly insufferable, especially here in Tampa. What I love is that most of them didn’t even go to school there(like my brother), but profess that they bleed blue and orange. My brother didn’t know jack about college softball but just had to mention last time I saw him that they were ranked number 1. The best is when he and my husband get together and go at it(husband is the U)..
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Uhh, the Va Tech game was because it was monsooning for the first three quarters, and when it finally cleared up and he could actually THROW THE BALL, he did fine. Plus, it is quite difficult to be a dominant passer when the other team knows you are going to pass EVERY SINGLE TIME. No running game, Callendar was overrated because of all the screens he got, and no recievers, so Ryan had to put it in the perfect spot every time to get a completion.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:11 pm
I don’t think a Boston area team needs to be put on the list. Their fans are all outsiders. I doubt Mick and Sully can even spell BC, let alone cheer for them.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:11 pm
@Mizerle – + 1 for the DDT reference
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Hey Atl, thanks for saying that. I know many northerners who are very racist also. I hate that stereotype.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:13 pm
If you did best fans in the country UT would have to be in the Top 5 since they selflessly follow a team that looks, and sometimes parties, like a prison clean-up crew.
Back to you mizerle!
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:14 pm
Everyone in Boston hates BC. They all think we’re the rich kids up on the hill. That’s why we don’t get any support and can’t get over the hump as a major college sports school. People are starting to come around to the football team, but that is only because we were so good last year, so I don’t know if that support will continue. The only other team that gets support is the hockey team.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:14 pm
In truth, Vandy fans wouldn’t even vote in the poll unless it was basketball.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:15 pm
Yeah, Guinness, unfortunately, it’s not just southerners. Of course, we’ve got our fair share. But they’re all over the place.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:16 pm
atl…yea, we’ve had this discussion before, you know im kdding (except for LSU fans). but what good would a college football discussion be without b10′ers calling SEC fans racist?
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:18 pm
Spencer – ok…I thought we had. No harm, no foul. I’m reminded of this every day by the guy in my office from upstate NY, who is the most racist person I’ve ever met. And that’s saying a lot, unfortunately.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:20 pm
Southerners get the bad rap about racism because of slavery (duh). Ironically, however, in most southern areas, there has been so much emigration to the south from other parts of the country that most people you meet in and around big cities are not from the south at all.
As ATL will attest to, 4 out of every 5 people you meet around Atlanta are all from somewhere else. That’s why Atlanta fans get such a terrible rap for not showing up. There simply aren’t any in Atlanta!
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:21 pm
@atl and guinness – being a fellow southerner, I understand your frustration and it’s tiring to fight against the racist stereotype. In reality, southerners may or may not be more racist than northerners, we can’t know because few people are honest enough to give an objective assessment on how they feel towards another race. I get beyond my frustration by embracing the southern steroetypes in jest.
/cue Dueling Banjos and kick pregnant girlfriend, again
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:23 pm
I’m sorry, August, I was listening to my police scanner and couldn’t hear you.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:25 pm
i do know one thing tho, that i learned during my time in the south…northerners are much smarter and less smelly. it’s science.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:26 pm
I quit reading after seeing Matt Ryan being called the best qb – thats a joke right?
a post, at some point this summer:
Most insufferable college fball fans,
Hands down OSU fans – nuff said.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:26 pm
/tired joke yet?
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Harbaugh…keep shaking your keys and yelling at fans who stand. when Michigan fans actually give a shit about their team instead of caring more about being elitist, condescending douchebags, youll be welcome to a college football discussion.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:29 pm
/edited for accuracy
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Every NFL analyst, scout and front office guy would like a word.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:32 pm
Harbaugh…sorry, that was kinda harsh. didn’t mean to be a dick to you personally, just your school.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Matt Ryan, while probably not a HOFer, will be a far better QB than Ron Mexico ever could hope to be.
/baiting Spencer
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:33 pm
Every time I want to make an impassioned plea for northern/western Americans to take it easy on us in the south I see something about church, voting or NASCAR and realize it’s a lost cause.
There are almost certainly more overtly racist and uneducated people in the south, but there’s a WHOLE lot of us who aren’t that way, and the rest of the country has all the white trash and closeted bigotry they can handle too…
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:38 pm
412…sure, he’ll be a better thrower, but he won’t win half as many games.
/bait taken…shall we escalate this into 3 paragraph argument territory? i can clear my schedule.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:40 pm
The falcons have a LONG way to go before Matt Ryan can start winning games.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:40 pm
@spencer
stache coming in?
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:41 pm
according to rivals BC has 2 freshman and a sophomore on top of their o-line depth chart.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:42 pm
No, I’m not revisiting the Vick argument. I’m sure he’ll be a fine QB for Mean Machine this fall.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:42 pm
These guys are never wrong
/Tim Couch and Ryan Leaf
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Biggest problem for BC: no punter
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:43 pm
Mags…it’s coming in nicely, thanks. for real tho, USC week, im planning on growing a good luck buckstache, you’ll be proud.
412…i agree. the mean machine will totally beat the guards this year.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Except for this guy.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:45 pm
Damn, always the good posts when I am at lunch.
It’s going to be a tough year for Arkansas, mostly because the tool who used to be our coach left a bare ass cupboard. We got a good recruiting class coming in though.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:48 pm
@ark: has anybody filed FOIA petitions for Petrino’s phone records yet?
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:48 pm
Did you notice where it said: “Last Update: 3/10/2008″
All the rosters and depth charts on rivals are showing last season’s info. They are usually updated in August.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:48 pm
@ark – you know what they say at Bama, right? Out with one tool, in with another.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:49 pm
NBA news from the LA Times
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:49 pm
Did you read that article? There is nothing saying Matt Ryan is not the best QB in the draft… I agree with everything he said, you don’t know how Ryan will play when he doesn’t have to force passes into dime coverages with shitty recievers. It’s a risk. But he was absolutely the best passing QB in the league last year, hands down.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:52 pm
@August – the Arkansas FOIA scandal and Fulmer secret witness episode are some of the best and most rediculous examples of how much people down here love college football. I love it.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:52 pm
arkbadger: Nutt is the tool, but Petrino is the good guy?
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:52 pm
IMO top 4 in college football this year random order
Florida
USC
Georgia
OSU
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:53 pm
bceagles…lighten up man, ryan did his thing for your school, now he’s gone. vernon gholston was a stud at OSU, but i fully expect him to be a bust in the NFL. lots of big time prospects flame out, but as long as they rocked for your school, then who cares?
and sam bradford was the best passing QB in college football.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:53 pm
But he was absolutely the best passing QB in the league
I’d take Brohm any day over Ryan… Brohm only suffered because his coach was Steve Kragethorpe (sp? who cares) and his D was good enough to give up 55 to MTSU on national TV.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:55 pm
I should amend my last statement. Some of the Rivals sites that represent crazy fanbases (Alabama for example) and have over 2,000 paying members update their depth charts and rosters every hour.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:56 pm
I think Matt Ryan was a helluva quarterback, especially considering what he had to work with at BC. I don’t understand the bashing and I didn’t understand the disappointment by Falcons fans when he was picked instead of Dorsey.
July 2nd, 2008 at 2:57 pm
kiper-sized
July 2nd, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Tom Brady went to my school.
July 2nd, 2008 at 3:01 pm
my problem with ryan was that he was just the product of no other draft-eligible QB being worth a shit. if there was a peyton manning or carson palmer type QB out there, ryan wouldve been a 2nd or 3rd rounder. the only reason he was picked and hyped in the top 10 was because he was the QB and the draft NEEDS a QB in there for marketing.
his play was meh, even tho i do admit their WR’s sucked. he has a noodle arm and can’t move, yet is a top 5 pick? especially when atlanta has so many other needs? he’s going to get killed, and by the time they build a team around him, he’ll be booed out of town. that’s the kind of pick that ruins teams for a decade.
at least dorsey can contribute right away because he doesnt need to rely on a shitty o-line, one solid WR (roddy) and a couple of unproven RB’s.
July 2nd, 2008 at 3:04 pm
OMG MATT RYAN HAS INTANGIBLES AND A LASER ROCKET ARM
YOU GUYS ARE THE STUPIDHEADS
July 2nd, 2008 at 3:06 pm
can’t move?
July 2nd, 2008 at 3:08 pm
can’t watch youtube at work, but assume it’s the play against VT where he ran around a little bit and threw the game winning/tying TD?
NFL Defenses >>> College Defenses
July 2nd, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Matt Ryan = Joey Harrington.
July 2nd, 2008 at 3:09 pm
Well played Mike, well played
July 2nd, 2008 at 3:11 pm
It’s the drive, there were at least 4 plays where he did an amazing job of keeping the play alive and moving in and out of the pocket to find the open man. Obviously NFL defenses will limit his ability to do it as much, but he is a great scrambler.
July 2nd, 2008 at 3:11 pm
I didn’t say anything about Petrino being a good guy. Although my opinions of him will probably change once he brings us a national championship.
And as long as Petrino isn’t banging a local newscaster while still proclaiming to be a wholesome christian, we probably won’t need to FOI his phone records.
July 2nd, 2008 at 3:12 pm
I don’t think Ryan will be terrible, but I think Dorsey was the best pick for the Falcons.
July 2nd, 2008 at 3:12 pm
My favorite Matt Ryan play
http://youtube.com/watch?v=mSskqthHbeE&feature=related
July 2nd, 2008 at 3:14 pm
irish…well played. that hit just looks painful.
July 2nd, 2008 at 3:14 pm
My favorite
http://youtube.com/watch?v=IL1m6DDVGEU&feature=related
July 2nd, 2008 at 3:14 pm
Mike NYC with the final word.
July 2nd, 2008 at 3:17 pm
There is a difference between a scrambler and someone who can avoid sacks. Ron Mexico was a scrambler, Randall Cunningham was a scrambler. Ben Roethlisberger avoids sacks (when there aren’t 3 guys on top of him due to a shitty O-Line).
Who does Matt Ryan most resemble?
July 2nd, 2008 at 3:18 pm
avoids sacks, but he can also get up the field and pick up 10 yards if theyll give it to him
July 2nd, 2008 at 3:21 pm
You better hope he has his magic shoes on playing behind that line in Atlanta
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:08 pm
Matt Ryan is nothing special. He played an easy schedule and wasn’t very impressive in most of the big games. Make excuses all you want for his WR’s, RB’s, and O-Line, or whatever else, but I don’t buy it. He was a good college qb. Nothing about him wowed me whenever I watched him play. I would have taken 4 or 5 QB’s ahead of him that played last year. I don’t hate the guy, and he seems like a good kid, I just don’t get the love affair. He seemed to me to be completely created by ESPN. I don’t see him. I’m a homer, but I liken him to Erik Ainge in style of play and ability, except with a far easier schedule.
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Also, I’m from the South, and I don’t disagree at all that Southerners are more racist on average than the rest. Not necessarily purposefully or with malice, but that’s just how they are. They were brought up that way.
July 2nd, 2008 at 4:35 pm
Chad Henne was the best QB in the 2007 draft.
July 2nd, 2008 at 5:08 pm
Wow, does he even watch college football? Matt Ryan the best QB in the country? Hawaii going to suck without Colt Brennan?
Hawaii is Hawaii, they’ll be exactly what they were last year again this year. Just like they were the year before, and the year before, and the year before.
As much of a shitface as he is, Bobby Petrino built a potential powerhouse out of Louisville. I don’t think he’s going to be the one hurting Arkansas.
This was just a stupid, stupid post.