We kicked off our NFL “preview” by tackling teams 16-32 in the power rankings yesterday. Couple things to keep in mind: This is simply how we’d rank the teams entering the season based on arbitrary things like schedule, offseason acquisitions, the draft, etc, so Steve Smith, please do not beat our ass like you did Ken Lucas. Just because we’ve got a team first, it doesn’t mean they’re our Super Bowl pick.

15. Arizona Cardinals – If … Leinart stays healthy, Edge doesn’t show his age, Boldin chills out, and the defense shows up, the playoffs are a certainty!
14. Seattle Seahawks – Same old story: Road games in the postseason are their kryptonite.
13. Carolina Panthers – Craig Erickson and Rob Johnson: Two players who have recovered from Tommy John surgery. Warm up Matt Moore!
12. Washington Redskins – More fun: Clinton Portis’ outfits, Skins vs. Washington Post, or Dan Snyder yucking it up with Tom Cruise?
11. Philadelphia Eagles -McNabb asked for a weapon, and they armed him with a 170-pound (we’re taking the average from here and here) smurf. Poor D-Mac.
10. New Orleans Saints - Can’t wait to see what kind of damage Charles Grant, Shockey, and Bush can do as a trio in the French quarter.
9. Jacksonville Jaguars – Love them this year, except for the thought of backup QB Cleo Lemon throwing to starting receivers Troy Williamson and Jerry Porter. Fantasy team name lock: Matt Jones’ foot locker card.
8. Minnesota Vikings - QBs that we’d seriously consider over T Jackson: Ryan Leaf, the ghost of Babe Laufenberg, Matt Saracen, and Gino Torretta.
7. New York Giants -Long snapper Zak DeOssie has to have one of the five coolest names in the league: We instantly think of Zack Morris and Ted DiBiase, aka, the Million Dollar Man. There’s also a fleeting thought of Ozzie Osborne, which conjures the image of biting off a bat’s head.
6. Indianapolis Colts – We’ve already made our thoughts known on what we think will happen to Indy.
5. Tennessee Titans – Vince Young asked for a weapon, and they armed him with Alge Crumpler. Not bad.
4. Pittsburgh Steelers – Offense reminds us of the cast of Ocean’s 11 – stacked. With debonair Hines Ward as George Clooney.
3. Dallas Cowboys – What’s the over/under on the first time Pacman’s spotted in a strip club? Perhaps more parades like this one will suffice for Mr. Jones. Moral duty: Jessica.
2. San Diego Chargers – Sickest trio of CBs in the league with Cromartie, Cason and Jammer? May win final five games by an average of 25 points.
1. New England Patriots – The reward for going unbeaten in the regular season last year is … the easiest schedule in the league.