Help Commenter Hef find a team to root for down the stretch, ok?

After the All-Star break, after all of the storylines have been put into place, it’s become a bit of a tradition of mine to pick a team to follow so I can get a different perspective on the divisional and wild card races. It makes the season more interesting and it’s a way of hedging your bets god forbid your favorite team doesn’t make it to the postseason.

But I won’t just follow any team just because it’s winning. No sir. That, my friends, is called front running and is only acceptable in the desolate wasteland of the Midwest or Plain States. I’m not looking to hop on any bandwagon; I’m just looking for a way to spice up my baseball watching enjoyment by adding a team to my regular viewing. So yes, there is a bit of a criteria involved for making my short list.

1. The GM/Manager knows what they’re doing. This is a major priority for me. If a team can’t evaluate talent or benches the wrong guy because they overpaid a player or two in the offseason (I’m looking at you Dodgers and Andre Ethier), I’m not interested. I love teams that are good at drafting and make smart trades or sign a free agent that no one else wanted so they were able to get him at a bargain price.

Additionally, the manager can’t be a mental midget (sorry Dusty Baker). I can’t root for a team that has a manager who has uttered the phrase “clogging the bases,” or has ever called for the leading HR hitter in the NL to sac bunt late in a game when down by one run.

This rules out the Dodgers, the Mariners, the Rangers, the Giants, the Reds, the Nationals and the Royals.

2. The team must have at least one promising young player. My favorite part of baseball is watching young players develop; learning the ins and outs of the game, learning how to adjust to new challenges, learning when to take a pitch he knows is a strike because he won’t be able to do anything with it anyway. It is undoubtedly related to the fact that I still wish I could play baseball professionally despite the fact that any skill I might have once had left me a long time ago.*

This rules out the Mets.

3. The team has to be focused on winning and can’t be staffed by a bunch of whiny bitches. None of this hysterical arguing and swearing. No pushing and shoving in the dugouts. I don’t want to hear about a team meeting every week to resolve a new issue. And after the meeting I don’t want to hear players say, “things were said that needed to be said and now we’re all on the same page.€ Really, now you’re all on the same page? What about on payday, are you all on the same page then too? Dick.

This rules out the Brewers, Tigers, and White Sox.

4. You still have to have a shot of making the postseason this year. If I’m going to invest time in an out-of-market team, I want that time to be meaningful. I want there to be potential light at the end of the tunnel. I’m not going to check the Pirates boxscore every morning. Adios A’s (usually the team I follow in the 2nd half—love the A’s), Astros, Indians, and Braves.

5. The team can’t play in the same division as my favorite AL team or NL team. This one’s obvious and rules out the Rays, Yankees, Rockies, Padres, Orioles and Blue Jays.

6. I can’t despise their fan base. Goodbye Cubs.

This leaves me with the following teams to weed through to decide which one to follow with more than just a passing interest:

Marlins: Man this is an exciting club. Good drafting, good trades, low payroll with decent free agent pickups. They’re an offensive juggernaut. Hanging on to Jeremy Hermida was a smart financial move and Hanley Ramirez is the best shortstop in baseball. [Ed. He's no Dick Schofield.] Dan Uggla, despite his defensive woes, is a great 2B—he should never have been available in the Rule 5 draft.

Twins: The only thing to dislike about this team is that they’re practically Canadian. Even their best hitter is a Canuck. If Carlos Gomez ever stops sniffing his bat and striking out, he’ll be a great baseball player. He plays centerfield like a champ and steals bases at will (when he’s got his confidence—seriously, what’s his deal lately?). The Santana deal hasn’t hurt the Twins and the fact that they released Livan Hernandez last week proves they’re willing to make smart, but difficult decisions.

Cardinals: The Cards almost didn’t make the list because I’m not a big fan of Tony LaRussa but I was able to overlook it. They are a half game out of the wild card and have the best hitter. Skip Shumaker is an up-and-coming leftfielder. Bonus points for playing the Cubs 20 times a year.

Phillies: With the exception of Brett Myers, I really like this team. Chase Utley is my MVP choice, Pat Burrell is the new Babe Ruth (slow, fat and can hit a mile), and Cole Hamels got jobbed in not making the All-Star game. They’re a good team, and I like Brad Lidge’s return to form. His shrink is worth ever penny.

So these are the four I’ve been following, but have yet to pick a favorite. I’ve been totally high on the Twins. Their offense has taken off and the return of Francisco Liriano has me glued to my seat. It doesn’t hurt that they play both the Tigers and the White Sox (see stipulation #3) and weren’t expected to win this year. In close second is the Marlins and they would certainly be higher if not for the fact that we all know they’re going to sell off half of their team the day after they attain any kind of success. It’s hard for me to root for a team which more or less acknowledges that they will only be competitive one out of every four years.

*Biggest kick in the balls of the last sixth months: my close friend’s little brother was drafted by the Mets in the first round. I knew this kid when he was a dopey 13 year old and now he’s playing A ball in New York.