The Roundup: the Best and Worst Franchise in NFL History

August 17th. 2008, 2:00pm

God bless-ed. Just sit and marvel at the natural beauty that is Keeley Hazel.

Keeley, I know it might seem weird or maybe even a bit perverse that I continue to post your pictures, but you’re my online density — I mean my destiny. Yeah. That’s it. You’re my favorite British beaut, and probably my favorite overall. If I was in a Fantasy Fantasy League, I’d draft you number one overall. The only girl who compares is Kelly Kapowski, but that’s in a different way. Plus, I still don’t know that I trustÂ Kelly after that fling she had with Jeff and Professor Jerimiah Lasky. If she and I were to get married, who’s to say she wouldn’t fall for a nursing home patient by the time we’re 45? Anyway, please accept my full-on support and gratitude. You make the days at TBL go by much easier. You unclog the pores of tension. You are … my Keeley. Please email me when you get the chance. If I don’t answer, I’ll get back to you. I promise.

The all-time franchise rankings for football — the American variety. [Cold Hard Football Facts]

Attempting to devour the Michael Phelps diet. [Youtube]

Sad: Michael Phelps eats Chinese gymnast. [eTrue Sports]

Dangerous and important: I’d rather have wood in my hand as opposed to a metal bat. [Kallas Remarks]

The pep talk B.J. Upton needs. [Grand National Champion]

The Bucs say good bye to Luke Petitgout. That was a waste of money. [Tampa Tribune]

Tom Glavine is out for the year and maybe his career. Is the end near? Oh dear. [Atlanta Journal Constitution]Â�

F***E! [Deadspin]

Meet the track coach who survived the Olympic Park bombing and sent a runner to Beijing 12 years later. [Jackie and Fritz]

I don’t know if this is supposed to be funny or serious. Such is life when watching Peyton Manning on television. [More Handy than Capped]

The Dream Team playing handball equals ratings. [TIME]

Awesome: penguin earns Norwegian Knighthood. [Clip Syndicate]

6 Responses to “The Roundup: the Best and Worst Franchise in NFL History”

TheBigLead Says:
August 17th, 2008 at 3:29 PM

Anyone play Madden 09 online? Answer me this: You’re playing somebody, and you’re up 17-0 … and the opponent’s ‘connection breaks.’ How can you NOT get a win for this?

It’s obvious the person is quitting, right? So lame. I find it odd that my connection has only broken ONCE, and yet it happens to my opponent at least every other time i play.

Ok, sorry for the Madden interruption. Back outside – such a damn nice day.

Billy Buckner Says:
August 17th, 2008 at 3:54 PM

TBL – The same thing happens in every online game. It is bullshit. Then again, when somebody is being a cheap douchebag (happens far too often in NBA games), even when it’s entirely possible you can come back. I try as hard as I can not to be unsportsman-like. Which is why I become furious when somebody else exploits the glitches in the game. I just turn off my console to fuck them over. Douches.

And Keely is gorgeous. Biscuits, how I love thee.

TheBigLead Says:
August 17th, 2008 at 4:02 PM

so BB – What is the Madden ruling?

I was the Jets and lost a heartbreaker to the Giants. He scored on a fumble return for TD (favre!) and punt return fumble for TD (!). He later scored on some lucky-ass 70 TD play. He accomplished nothing else, yet won 27-21. Favre threw 4 INTs, and was sacked on 4th on the final drive around their 30. Hurt. Bad. The guy was 2-9!!!!

Billy Buckner Says:
August 17th, 2008 at 4:29 PM

The Madden ruling is the connection almost NEVER breaks by accident. Once every GREAT, GREAT while. Always assume if there’s a large point margin either way that the guy turned off the console. Always. And he’s a dick.

And it sounds like in your situation, the game had one of it’s famous “there’s no way in fucking hell you’re winning the game moments.” Thus my harted for EA Sports. Of course, it’s entirely plausable Favre would collapse like that and throw 4 INTs. That’s realistic as shit.

And you clearly haven’t been outside all day, have you?

GraniteGuy Says:
August 17th, 2008 at 5:06 PM