Here, by request from CRM’s girlfriend, is a roundup of the latest Barclay’s Premier League action.

Flush with Adug’s beneficent billions, Manchester City have begun construction of the Premier League death-star.  The Sky Blues have set modest aims in the form of 18 new players, including Fernando Torres, Cesc Fabregas, Cristiano Ronaldo for $270 million and possibly Kaka if they can qualify for next year’s Champions League.  Its weak point won’t be as difficult to spot as the Empire’s, however, as there seem to be no plans to buy defenders or hard midfielders.

Two days after Newcastle owner Mike Ashley wore a “King Kev” jersey to the Emirates stadium, manager Kevin Keegan left the club Keegan-style, after a Bill Parcells-style “buying the groceries” rant.  The Geordie faithful launched public protests, since they apparently had some time available.  The replacement, however, could be Kevin Keegan when this Indian billionaire buys the club.

Chelsea currently top the Premier League table, but have been rushed back to reality after losing Michael Essien for the rest of the season with a torn ACL.  People who don’t support Chelsea are ecstatic, not so much for Chelsea’s misfortune, but for the prospect of watching Michael Ballack try to tackle someone in midfield.

Burglars broke into Liverpool striker Robbie Keane’s apartment, while he was away playing for Ireland.  Keane is the seventh Liverpool player in the past two seasons to be burgled while playing in international competition.  I’m sure they were all Everton fans.

As far as the title race goes, Manchester United and Chelsea look fine, Liverpool, true to form, have been successful but unimpressive, Arsenal don’t have a deep enough squad, and Tottenham, the Premier League’s Washington Redskins, looked great in July, but three matches into the season, not so much.

Oh, and Nani does resemble a 1980s Michael Jackson.