Angels 4, Yankees 2: Anaheim clinched the AL West one save before F. Rodriguez tied Bobby Thigpen for the single season save record. According to the AP report, Torii Hunter did the backstroke and butterfly in a pool of beer and champagne on the clubhouse floor. He also killed three people. Not really. The rest of the game recap sounded like a script from the Schmitt’s Gay ad campaign: “Pitcher Jered Weaver was the most exuberant, waving his cap and pumping his arms. A teammate poured beer into his mouth. A couple players grabbed the hose behind the pitcher’s mound and turned it on, spraying their teammates and fans gathered behind the Angels’ dugout.” Man, I really miss Phil Hartman voice-overs.

Rays 4, Red Sox 2 (14): Tampa increased their lead over the Sox to 2.5 thanks to another hit from Mr. Clutch, Carlos Pena. Pena hit a three-run homer in the top of the 14th and Rays’ reliever Jason Hammel shut the door after closer Troy Percival left it open by loading the bases. Did you see the way I wrote that last sentence? Did you? If not, I’ll just flat out tell you: I’m the next Mitch Albom. To prove it, I have ears that extend from the sides of my head beyond my eye sight.

White Sox 6, Blue Jays 5: The Sox halted the Jays’ 10-game winning streak by telling Roy Halladay to go fly a kite. AJ Pierzynski had three RBI and contributed to several Jim Rome erections. It was enough to fend off three Blue Jays runs in the 9th off Bobby Jenks. In a statistic which I find quite remarkable (seriously), the six runs the Sox scored marked the most they’ve scored in a game without a home run since May 21, 2007. Mark Buehrle gave up one run in 7 1/3 innings to gain his 13th win.

Dodgers 7, Padres 2: Manny Ramirez … er, Man-Ram, had two two-run homers to propel the Dodgers 3.5 games in front of Arizona in the West. This makes me happy because I don’t like Eric Byrnes, even if he isn’t playing. Derek Lowe allowed one run and three hits in 5 1/3 innings before leaving with a sore knee. It marked his third straight win and the Dodgers’ 10th win in 11 games.

Marlins 7, Phillies 3: Ricky Nolasco struck out eight in 7 2/3 innings and Luis Gonzalez hit a two-run homer. The Phillies are three games back of the Mets in the East and four games back of the Brewers in the Wild Card. Philly hosts Milwaukee for four starting Thursday. From the looks of it, everyone in the Philly clubhouse is pressing. Perhaps they need to grow a sac. Just sayin’.