Commenter Spencer already wrote one Ryder Cup preview earlier this month, but he’s got more to say.

Friday Foursomes:
Mickelson/Kim vs. Harrington/Karlsson: WHAT THE GOSH-DARNED HELL, AZINGER? Do you want to win this thing or do you wanna put on a fucking dog and pony show? Remember Hal Sutton, the ‘genius’ who put Phil and Tiger together in 2004? Yea, how’d that work. These things are worth one point and you’re putting your two best players in the same pairing? Bravo. Bra-vo.

Leonard/Mahan vs. Casey/Stenson: This should be awesome. Great pairing on the US side as they compliment each other perfectly and the Euros respond with crazy length off the tee. Most entertaining match? Could be.

Cink/Campbell vs. Rose/Poulter: Eh, who else are you going to throw out there? Chad Campbell…oh, you’re serious? Damn, our team sucks. Solid Euro team even though that should read Clarke instead of Poulter, DAMN YOU FALDO!

Perry/Furyk vs. Garcia/Westwood: Best Euro team against another solid US team. Perry is long off the tee and will be the crowd favorite while Furyk is the perfect side dish. Garcia and Westwood are the cream of the European crop and nobody beats Sergio in team play during the Ryder Cup, but Perry built his season around this goal and it’ll be a pretty raucous.

Coverage: ESPN really wants you to watch this, and you should. Fortunately for us, ESPN’s golf coverage is wonderful, just wonderful. As usual, ESPN is going to be handing off to the peacock network this weekend, and while Johnny Miller rears his large head, NBC’s overall coverage is still solid. But Johnny Miller being there isn’t bad as he’ll probably Billy Packer himself like he did in 1999 when Justin Leonard, who Miller said should “go home,” after a rough Saturday, went on to hole the most dramatic final hole putt in golf history. Miller should totally do that again.

Where’s Tiger and Why Should We Care? There’s something in the making here. A ridiculously stacked European team that’s carefree and not worried about a thing going up against an American team without its…I can’t really think of a good analogy for Tiger…

And, that’s why I think this is going to be compelling.

Listen, Team America is NOT better off without Tiger Woods, and you’re a moron if you think otherwise. “But Spencer, everyone is afraid of Tiger and he riles up those fruity Europeans.€ He sure does, but he’s also the GOAT, the dude who’s probably going to win 25 majors and is probably the most steeled-nutted, clutch putting mofo in the history of the sport…it’s like saying the Bulls were better off without MJ. It’s just scientifically incorrect.

That said, in theory, Phil should feel relieved, but the problem is not with his mindset, it’s with his game. Phil needs to ditch that asshole Dave Pelz and stop cluttering up his brain with useless crap. You can’t putt Phil…you’re hitting the hell out of the ball and your short game is in good form…stop thinking, just putt.

I’ve got a feeling that we have our answer to Sergio in the Ryder Cup: Anthony Kim. He is one of a handful of players who can keep up with El Nino tee-to-green and I consider them equals in every other facet of the game. I’ve been a massive fan of his all year, and he’s built for this course. He’s cocky, borderline arrogant, and that’s something the Americans have desperately needed. Character. Gumption. If there’s a chance, it’s these two guys who need to carry us.

Kentucky Moonshine: You’re going to hear this at least 250 times tomorrow but, just to rehash, Kenny Perry and JB Holmes are both from Kentucky. There, we all know, now there’s no need to remind us three thousand times, mmmkay?

In all honesty, both of these guys are assets, so it’s not like it’s something ridiculous like having Zach Johnson on the Ryder Cup as a guy who’s going to contribute diddly poo. JB Holmes, in particular, is intriguing and must see. This is what Kenny Perry had circled on his calendar since 2007, representing his country in his home state at the track where he made one of the biggest blunders in major championship history when he stayed in the booth to ham it up rather than staying warm and subsequently losing to Mark Brooks in the 1996 PGA. Perry is going to leave it all out there…looking to put the capstone on a pretty impressive career for a guy who’s swing looks 100% homemade.

Then there’s JB. There’s ONE dude on the PGA tour who can punish a ball like JB Holmes and there’s just something to love about some rednecked, backwoods peckerneck going up there and smoking 350-yard drives and strutting like a turkey in front of an awestruck Soren Hansen. Pair him with someone who can stiff an iron and that’s a tough team to beat. Holmes is the kind of guy who feeds off energy and if he’s accurate, it’s going to be a major plus. Oh, and there’s two driveable par 4’s…gotta see that.

Speaking of Rednecks: Boo Weekley.

“It’s like getting a new pack of hounds when we were growing up and going deer hunting. You don’t know what kind of dogs you’ve got until you run them, so let’s run them and we’ll see.”

Red? Check. Neck? Sounds like it.

Team America vs. the Europeans: Well, I talked myself into thinking a Todd Boeckman-led Ohio State team without Beanie Wells stood a chance in hell against USC, and I’ve talked myself into thinking the US stands a chance in hell against the same type of odds. See, you have to be delusional to think that a team with Ben Curtis and Chad Campbell can go up against those bullies Sergio and Lee Westwood, and win.

My head says Europe, 16-12 and Ryder Cup history and mathematics-based prognostication agrees.

But I’m not married to that. Not by a long shot. See, it’s Valhalla, where Viking heroes go when they die in battle or something heroic like that. Phil is a Viking and Anthony Kim came to sack some villages, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t. This isn’t non-cheering Michigan, home of Oakland Hills with those hand-sitting, key jiggling, Michigan fans, this is SEC country, lawya, chock full of Southerners! And booze!

Oh, and two driveable par 4’s and a finishing 18th hole that is almost guaranteed to swing the outcome and be scene for a dramatic ending. I’m going with my red, white and blue stained heart and saying USA 14 ½ Europe 13 ½.