Lee Diekemper on hockey.

So the Sean Avery era in Dallas has come to a swift and abrupt end. His former roomie and current Dallas Co-General Manager Brett Hull gave Avery the pink slip to end what may be one of the biggest overreactions of sports jurisprudence in recent memory.

Avery’s crack about his “sloppy seconds” was possibly more ironic than amusing, though it was certainly funny. And for this he gets slapped with a six-game suspension and banished from his team? Really?

Did Stars’ season ticket holders storm the team’s offices to demand his release? Did a father of a Dallas Stars Ice Girl threaten a lawsuit? Was Avery somehow playing around with teammates’ wives or something?

If anything this episode shows that there are still overly-anal communities where his [Ed. warped?] sense of humor doesn’t fly. So Avery can forget about playing in St. Louis or Nashville or locales that are easily offended.

Some may suggest Avery was a locker room cancer. However, the Stars aren’t winning. When Avery was tormenting opponents while playing for the Rangers last year, it didn’t seem as if he was a distraction. In short, winning cures all ills.

Just throwing some ice against the boards to see where Avery might go:

* Anaheim: This would be perfect for Avery. He’d be back in the Los Angeles-area and he’d get to tap into all sorts of Hollywood talent (again). It’s not as if the Ducks wouldn’t mind Avery’s skills either. Compared to Chris Pronger, Avery is an angel.

* Chicago: The Blackhawks are on the verge of being an NHL elite team. The Second City is also big enough that Avery would enjoy it’s distractions. Additionally, the Blackhawks, since Dollar Bill Wirtz died, have been doing their best to wedge their way back into Chicago sports fans’ attention. Avery would help with creating more buzz.

* San Jose: Another team from a big city-area that would probably be more welcome to Avery and his tastes. It also helps the Sharks, thus far, are the dominant in the NHL.

A darkhorse could be the Panthers. South Florida offers all that Avery enjoys and with the buzz Avery would bring, the Panthers might be able to sell 20 more tickets a game in America’s worst sports city. [Ed. Atlanta would like a word with Mr. Diekemper.}