How’s your head feel today, sponge-worthy???

That American remake is going to suck. And I guarantee you it will be PG-13.

Yep. First, that movie doesn’t work set outside of Sweden. The dark, snow, and desolation of the Swedish projects is a big part of the story. That shit isn’t going to work in suburban Ohio. And I’m sure they’ll get rid of the genital mutilation and the epic beheading at the end.
The author is furious about it, but it’s his own fault.

I love Peter Jackson, but I knew him as the New Zealand horror guy. When I want zombies killed by lawnmowers, I’ll call him, but for epic movies, meh.

Oh man the acid scene was gut wrenching. Though looking at the makeup made me realize even more how ridiculous Two Face was this time around.

For sure. That American remake is going to suck. And I guarantee you it will be PG-13.

Some of the stuff they cut from ROTK was pretty important. Namely, the death of Saruman and Wormtongue, and the Mouth of Sauron, which was one of the most badass scenes in the movie. They could have cut eighty percent of the Frodo and Sam story and the movie would have still made sense.

Agreed about the Frodo cuts. Jackson lost me when he brought the Elves to Helms’ Deep. That move made absolutely no sense. In the books we are led to believe that men are left to defend themselves, but yet the superhuman elves show up. There’s no way to reconcile the fact that Legolas can kill anything that moves, while hundreds of Elves get owned at Helm’s Deep. In Jackson’s LOTR, the Men of Rohan would have been slaughtered without the Elves. That blows.

However, Jackson’s biggest mistake in ROTK was going overboard with the ghost army. In the book, the men of the surrounding provinces of Gondor are scared into coming to the aide of Minas Tirith by the ghost army. Jackson made the ghost army into some sort of an unstoppable force, which, for some bizarre reason, Aragorn dismisses after the battle. Why not keep them around and go kick ass at the Black Gates? Fuck the ring, we’ve got ghost army! That killed the movie even more than Legolas snowboarding on an oliphant.

/Huge LOTR nerd

Let someone else write the script and put someone else in the director’s chair and Star Wars soars. Coincidence, I think not.

The only person more overrated than George Lucas is Tim Burton.