Entering as favorites to qualify for World Cup 2010, the Czech Republic have played awfully.  They are fourth in their group, five points behind leaders Northern Ireland.  Only the first and second teams can qualify.  They are only four matches remaining to correct the course, but don’t worry.  The Czechs have a plan.

They aren’t changing tactics.  They have found the nub of their problem.  Whores.

Seven players, including captain Tomas Ujfalusi were booted from the national team, for fraternizing with women of ill repute after a World Cup qualifier.  Not the first time that has happened.  Presumably, clean souls, clean linens and untapped essence will revitalize the Czech campaign for South Africa.  According to history, however, there’s scant evidence that fornication effects football.

Brazil featured some of the whore-happiest teams ever to grace the pitch in the late 1950s and early 1960s.  The team doctor’s first action upon arrival at the 1962 World Cup in Chile was to secure the brothel arrangements.  Garrincha, the “Angel with Bent Legs,” fathered 14 known children on multiple continents.  Hardly puritans, those teams won World Cups in 1958 and 1962, outscoring opponents 30-9 and not losing a match.

Appropriately named Manchester United legend George Best looked like “the Fifth Beatle” and rivaled the rock bands of the day for hedonism.  “I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars,” Best once said.  “The rest I just squandered.€Â  It was the booze, not the birds that killed his career.

Diego Maradona had a predilection for the loose women.  He was arguably the greatest player of his, or any, generation.  Ronaldo was not so bad of a player. Wayne Rooney and Cristiano Ronaldo seem to make a more than adequate tandem at Man United.

These men were all notorious flirts and philanderers, plunging appendages into god knows where on a near nightly basis.  They may have been excessively men off the pitch, but when they stepped onto it, they were gods just the same.

The Czech national team has a number of problems.  Libido was not the most pressing of them.

Tomas Ujfalusi Has a Hooker Problem (Unprofessional Foul)