Onion Bag: Tim Howard Returns to Bite Man U
Soccer April 20th. 2009, 2:30pm
FA Cup Semifinals: The FA Cup semifinals are the awkward morning small talk, after the torrid “romance†of the early rounds. Chelsea beat Arsenal 2-1. The Gunners were missing three of their back four and their goalkeeper, and played like it. Everton drew 0-0 with Manchester Untied reserves, advancing on penalties after American and former Man U keeper Tim Howard saved two during the shootout. Chelsea and Everton will meet in the May 30 final. Neutrals will not quiver in anticipation.
Serie A Down To Three: Italy looks set to lose their fourth Champions League place to Germany in 2010-11, based on their club’s poor performance in Europe. The places are determined by a UEFA ranking. No Serie A clubs advanced to the quarterfinals in the Champions League. Only one Italian team, Udinese, made the quarterfinals in the UEFA Cup, but they blew a 3-1 second leg lead to Werder Bremen, eliminating themselves 4-6 on aggregate and sending a German club forward to the next round. On the plus side, the premium on Champions League places might force A.C. Milan to try.
Closer to Relegation: After years of flirtation, Newcastle legend and legendarily awful TV commentator Alan Shearer took over as temporary manager, to save the club from relegation. Three matches in, he has performed exactly as one would expect for someone who has never managed or been trained to do so, earning just one point in three must win games. Newcastle are four points adrift with five matches to play, and they still need to play Liverpool and Aston Villa on the road. Not much reason to be optimistic.
Spain Sorting: Real Madrid and Barcelona both won mundanely 1-0 on the road, maintaining the nine-point. Valencia, down to ten men, received a bizarre assist from a handball to beat Sevilla 3-1 and keep hold of the fourth Champions League place for next season. With seven matches to play, Atletico Madrid, Villarreal, Malaga and Deportivo La Coruna are within realistic striking distance for that final place.
If You’re Interested: Comedian Russell Brand and Noel Gallagher from Oasis taped a radio show for Talksport in the U.K.  It’s available in multiple segments on YouTube.  Both are season ticket holders at West Ham and Manchester City respectively.  Both are funny.  Both, surprisingly, are among the most sober soccer analysts in Britain.
Goal of the Weekend: Achille Emana vs. Sporting Gijon
12 Responses to “Onion Bag: Tim Howard Returns to Bite Man U”
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April 20th, 2009 at 2:42 pm
+1 for Drogba’s finish.
April 20th, 2009 at 2:46 pm
sorry, but
http://lookatthisfuckinghipster.tumblr.com/
April 20th, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Meh. All of United’s penalty takers were first team regulars (I’m counting Anderson, he’s on the bench at least) and Foster is probably better than VDS at this point.
April 20th, 2009 at 3:36 pm
Good God is Everton ever a boring team to watch. Chelsea is going to pound them in the final. Not sure who will watch that.
April 20th, 2009 at 3:42 pm
Fine pick and post again Duffy. Better than Ronaldo’s goal last week.
On that note, and I can’t seem to warn any other rabid mindless (and almost always arrogant) Man U fan otherwise even before the FA cup semi-final, other than my good friend in the USMC back from Iraq for good now, Man U ought to be VERY worried if it took a legendary goal from Ronaldo like that to be a side like Porto that drew them at Old Trafford.
This Liverpool fan is pulling for Man U against dreaded Chelsea in the Champions’ League semi-final, but man do they have their work cut out for them with these lowly performances with all these star players.
(Full disclosure, not only am I woeing Liverpool’s awful exit from the Champions’ League, but I am one of few Udinese fans in the US, and even fewer with the actual “zebra” jersey of them, woeing their exit from the Uefa Cup due largely to poor defence as well)
April 20th, 2009 at 3:50 pm
@paolo its Arsenal v ManU in the semi Chelski v Barca in the other.
April 20th, 2009 at 3:56 pm
Ah sorry I mixed them up again damnit. I hate them both.
Go Barca then of course. 
April 20th, 2009 at 3:57 pm
Paolo, I don’t think there’s much to read into Man U’s performance on Saturday. The FA Cup is Man U’s lowest priority. They started three first choice players, all of them in defense. Their defense obviously played well.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:13 pm
Let me guess you are a Man U fan Duffy? If so no need for discussion. If not, let me know and I will add to my feedback.
April 20th, 2009 at 4:36 pm
The FA Cup games stunk — and I’m not just saying that cause Arsenal lost. The Wembley pitch is horrid!
Far better games in La Liga (Valencia v Sevilla) and the Bundesliga (Hertha Berlin v Werder Bremen).
April 20th, 2009 at 5:30 pm
I’m an Arsenal fan.
April 20th, 2009 at 5:47 pm
Ok, for the first time ever, I am going to call you on TOTAL BS here Duffy and you are not a Man U fan. I restate the point above with clarification. No way with this rhetoric and chat all over the British press and worldwide about some Crowned Quintuple that Man U fans can be satisfied with either the performance in the win against Porto after the draw and going the distance with Everton let along losing. And damn we know if they had won in the shootout you would not be making those same remarks. Again, TOTAL BS.
How will Arsenal hold up further after all these recent injuries when for quite the spell they could not score even with such players? Oh my.
Folks on a high horse like those Man U fans that don’t get to come off it that easy sorry. They can eat shit for that loss in the FA cup now, and if you have your way they’ll eat shit against injury-plagued Arsenal.
Then we’ll all live in peace without another year of rants from arrogant obnoxious fans from Man U, the global equivalent of the New York Yankees in the US.