Your All All-Arrested NFL Team
1-liner, Courts, Legal, NFL June 19th. 2009, 2:00pmNFL: QB of the all-arrested/convinced/prison team is obviously Mike Vick. His RB is OJ; his pass-catchers are the vile Rae Carruth and druggie Michael Irvin. Spear-heading the defense are LBs Ray Lewis (indictments count, even though you could indict a ham sandwich) and Lawrence Taylor. If you took each player in their prime, you’re probably talking about a 12-4 squad with conference championship aspirations. [Sparty and Friends]
47 Responses to “Your All All-Arrested NFL Team”
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June 19th, 2009 at 2:02 PM
that’s racist!
/first of many to come, I’m sure
//sorryy, no Hakeem Nicks on this one
June 19th, 2009 at 2:05 PM
Now that’s racist.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:07 PM
Does he get to use his blade?
June 19th, 2009 at 2:07 PM
Sparty – I like the list and you went into really good description. But Jerramy Stevens belongs on that list. That dude is a rapist. Demote one of those WRs to second string and call up the big softy (Joey Porter’s words, not mine).
Also, that mugshot of Lawrence Taylor looks like a black Lee Harvey Oswald (minus the head gash, of course).
June 19th, 2009 at 2:07 PM
That’s nice, really, But who’s playing QB?
/Vick sucks
June 19th, 2009 at 2:07 PM
the center would be Barret Robbins
June 19th, 2009 at 2:08 PM
So, Irvin and Carruth aren’t catching any passes then. You better get a good TE because that’s all Mike sees when he’s trying to break a 3 yard run.
OJ has no chance of getting the ball either.
/Mike Vick wouldn’t know the film room if it had a bong and (indicted) ham sandwich in it
June 19th, 2009 at 2:09 PM
Can I add Russell Erxleben as the punter?
And I am truly disappointed that Cecil Collins and Lawrence Phillips don’t back up O.J. Simpson.
Otherwise, good list Sparty.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:09 PM
A lot of Cowboys on that list. It makes me smile.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:10 PM
See, the U is still relevant
June 19th, 2009 at 2:11 PM
No Lenard Little? How many people does he have to kill to make this team?
June 19th, 2009 at 2:11 PM
Where is the ham sandwich going to line up?
June 19th, 2009 at 2:12 PM
Ryan Leaf should be on this list.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:12 PM
thanks fellas. nobody is getting by those LBs.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:13 PM
NFLU Duder. get it right
June 19th, 2009 at 2:13 PM
http://nbcsports.msnbc.com/id/12504422/
The Sanchise was thisclose to making the cut
June 19th, 2009 at 2:16 PM
[Gravatar image]
I’ll like to nominate the dumb fuck that decided to draft a punter in the first round for the front office job. Drugs had to be involved.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:17 PM
Todd Marinovich needs to be on the field. He’d snort a hashmark faster than Michael Irvin.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:18 PM
Tennessee got the major shaft in this. No Little, Henry, or Stallworth?
June 19th, 2009 at 2:18 PM
on par with the NBA All-ugly team. nice work sparty.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:20 PM
Travis Henry and Jamal Lewis are pissed.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:20 PM
off subject but i praise dirk for fighting for full custody. glad to see someone is finally fighting these money grubbing bitches. i hope he wins. kid has no chance with that lady
June 19th, 2009 at 2:20 PM
Big Ben should QB this team.
Impersonation can be deemed a serious crime.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:21 PM
Nadal won’t play wimbledon.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:21 PM
Nadal out for Wimbledon.
/probably the only one that cares
June 19th, 2009 at 2:22 PM
Jim Brown would be my starting running back over OJ
June 19th, 2009 at 2:23 PM
I know this is football, but Roy Tarpley should probably be in the mix.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:28 PM
“I got 9 kids by 9 women, get suspended by the NFL for smoking weed, get busted with 6 pounds of weed and 6 pounds of blow by the DEA, and am serving 10 years to life in prison, and I can’t make the team? Man, that’s some competition!”
/Henry’d
June 19th, 2009 at 2:31 PM
That’s not fair. Jim didn’t hit all those women. He just shook the shit out of most of them…
June 19th, 2009 at 2:32 PM
This isnt juvie Travis, you better come stronger than that
June 19th, 2009 at 2:32 PM
Janikowski has to be the kicker.
And Pacman will have something new to bring to the debate shortly I’m sure. Too long since his last arrest.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:37 PM
how has there not been a Hollywood Henderson movie? If you can ever hear this guy talk about his life, you will crack up. He’s a funny dude.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:38 PM
I can vouch for the veracity of this statement.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:49 PM
I care too, you aren’t completely alone. Was really hoping for a Raf/Fed rematch.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:50 PM
Wouldn’t that squad go 16-0? There is some sick talent listed there.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:53 PM
agree. with those LBs, playing in a 3-4, Belicheat coaching them up. unstoppable.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:55 PM
they were in the discussion but we decided on a 4 WR and 1 tailback offensive setup.
June 19th, 2009 at 2:55 PM
/fixed
/it was racist
June 19th, 2009 at 3:03 PM
I don’t always post on a thread, but when I do, I prefer to say everything’s racist
/BigBen’d
June 19th, 2009 at 3:08 PM
Poor Jimmy Smith. Now even his arrests are underrated.
June 19th, 2009 at 3:08 PM
Sorry fanboy. It’s true. I interned with the team in ‘03, and that dude just didn’t watch film. To be fair, it probably doesn’t take a ton of film study to run around, and find the huge dude with 83 on his chest.
June 19th, 2009 at 3:23 PM
I interned with Home Depot in ‘03
June 19th, 2009 at 4:26 PM
“I don’t always post on a thread, but when I do, I prefer to say everything’s racist.”
/BigBen’d
Nice, jpq. This guy came after me for “racism” just earlier this morning! Something about Bob Ryan being a white guy with a big head…stop me when I say something inaccurate…
June 19th, 2009 at 4:39 PM
Joey, I’m sure you will learn about sarcasm when you hit high school..
When’s summer break over?
June 19th, 2009 at 4:42 PM
/fixed for Tony Romo
June 19th, 2009 at 4:47 PM
Damn, big ben! When’s summer break over? The parties, the women, the booze…I’m having too much fun today to worry about tomorrow.
June 20th, 2009 at 3:15 AM
Art Schlichter would’ve been my pick for QB even if Vick were more than a glorified wing back.