Twins 6, Brewers 4: Denard Span, one of my favorite awful names in baseball, returned from the DL and tripled, walked three times and scored three runs. Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder both homered. At this point, should Fielder just be wearing a Fat Homer gown or at least have hot dogs stapled to his jersey? He already looks absurd.

Nats 9, Red Sox 3: In his first major league start in over a year, John Smoltz must have felt pretty good after getting his first batter out of the way with a harmless grounder to first. Unfortunately, it complete unraveled from there. He hit Nick Johnson and then served up a double, a walk and three singles. It’s Smoltz though, he’ll be fine, likely as soon as his next start. Rookie Jordan Zimmerman was impressive, going seven innings and allowing one run for his first win since late April.

Mariners 9, Padres 3: Ichiro went 4-for-5 including a leadoff homer, the 29th of his career. Does anyone realize this guy is batting .369? His career average over eight seasons is .332. He’s ridiculous. Too bad he plays in Seattle.

White Sox 6, Dodgers 5: Scott Podsednik hit a bases loaded walk-off single in the bottom of the 13th off Jeff Weaver, who looks like someone shoved that hat on his head and sternly said, “just sit still for one second and let them take your pitcure.” The Dodgers have lost two straight. They’re now just 21 games over .500.

Mets 3, Cards 2: Chris Carpenter gave up three singles and a double in the fourth inning and that’s all it would take in this one. Not that it matters because the bullpen held the Mets scoreless, but Carpenter only threw 82 pitches and cruised through the fifth, sixth and seventh, so it’s not clear why La Russa didn’t let him go for at least the eighth. John Santana wasn’t great by his standards, he dodged a few jams, but anyone would take seven innings of two-run ball.

Tigers 6, Cubs 5: Make that seven in a row for Detroit. With his amazing King Tonga locks gone, Magglio Ordóñez hit a go-ahead two-run homer off Ted Lilly in the fourth, his first since April 27th. Fernando Rodney worked a shaky ninth, giving up a solo shot to Micah Hoffpauir, but settled down to strike out the side. Jim Leyland had a keeper after the game in regard to Magglio: “If I had hair like that, I’d still be single.” Sega Hockey legend Chris Chelios threw out the first pitch.

Reds 7, Blue Jays 5: Joey Votto’s officially back.

Astros 5, Royals 4: Lance Berkman drove in four runs, becoming the third player in franchise history to reach 1,000 RBIs. José Valverde picked up his sixth save, but more importantly, made K-Rod proud in doing so.