Astros 5, Tigers 4: Don’t be confused by Yahoo’s MLB page, the Tigers lost last night. Miguel Tejada went 2-for-4 with 2 RBI and is impressively batting .330 with 41 RBI on the season. Damn, I could’ve had him in fantasy for a half-eaten Twizzler.

Red Sox 4, Braves 1: Ortiz homered, but he’s still batting .218. Duffy chalks up this miraculous resurgence to just being a passionate, huggable slugger. Beckett went seven shutout innings, striking out six and generally acting like an embarrassing gayboy.

Brewers 5, Giants 1: Yovani Gallardo’s great season continued (he’s really only had two forgettable starts) as he went 7 2/3 innings, allowing one run on four hits. Matt Cain wasn’t so good (5 ER) and took the ‘L’ for just the second time this year.

Yanks 9, Mets 1: Everyone in New York will either be talking about CC going seven innings of three-hit ball, A-Rod passing Reggie, Gardner’s big night or the Mets sloppy play, but what about Robinson Cano’s Awakenings catch? That’s backpage cover material.

Dodgers 8, Mariners 2: Andre Eithier had three home runs and finished with 6 RBI. Of his 14 home runs this year, 13 have come at Chavez Ravine. The devoted folks at AccuWeather are all over this one. Ichiro raised his average to .371.

Cubs 5, White Sox 4: Geovany Soto smoked a three-run shot in the seventh which proved to be the decisive runs for the Cubbies. Milton Bradley boxed a water cooler (doesn’t Zambrano do this during every one of his starts?) after popping up in the sixth and was immediately sent home by Sweet Lou.

Quality is a little rough but the “If You Build It” short just destroyed me: