TBL asked me to do another recap of the show that no one watched, so here I am. Back for a second week of John Saunders talking to me like I’m an idiot, Jenn Brown being cute and a bunch of people you think you may have heard of at one point a few years ago competing in Guts-style games.

It’s the second episode and Saunders is already referring to this as a “grueling competition.” The games were a 2-person relay race and a long jump into the water. Both events were just as exciting as you would have imagined.

Terrell Owens and Joanna Krupa were brought back because Jennifer Capriati hurt herself. As John Saunders pointed out, “Per Superstars rules, when one teammate can’t compete the entire team is disqualified.” Or something like that. Superstars has strict rules. They couldn’t find another washed up female athlete to be on David Charvet’s team?

As I typed that, Dan Cortese hurts his hamstring and Lisa Leslie is left without a teammate. Don’t worry, Superstars extensive rule book took this into consideration. Charvet (Baywatch: The Years No One Was Watching) returned to take Cortese’s place. With that, my favorites to win the show were half gone. I’m switching my pick to TO and Johanna Krupa.

Bode Miller is annoying. He had a strategy for a relay race. I prefer Brody Jenner.

Only one real highlight this week – Julio Iglesias Jr. face-planting in the water. Where’s Hernia with the screen grab so I can MS Paint a big FAIL onto it? Get a haircut, hippie.

John Saunders tried to sell the audience on one of the guys from Dancing With The Stars being as fast as Terrell Owens. Hell, he’s the only active athlete. Wait, I just got word that the WNBA is still around. I wouldn’t have known, but I just read Fetch’s new WNBA blog, Ballin’ Sans Balls.

My dark horse pick from last week was Jeff Kent and Ali Landry. I should clarify. A beauty queen and a baseball player should not win anything. Except for a beauty pagent and a baseball game. Kent does the water events with a baseball hat on.

Am I the only person in America to have watched both episodes? I’m guessing yes.

Estella Warren looks to be a cupcake and a Quaalude away from a major breakdown. Seriously, she’s 30. Joanna Krupa is 30.

One person I didn’t talk about last week was Kristi Lekinen. Free-style skiing. Yeah.

Joanna Krupa is very competitive. Fresh off giving TO kind-of-unwarranted shit in the first episode, she goes back at him after he fails to jump off a pier, over a foam bar into the water. And he calls himself an athlete. These two should run away with the competition. Unless TO is perceived to break up another team.

As I watched the obstacle course at the end of the episode, all I could think was “NO! Don’t eliminate Estella Warren and Robert Horry! This is all Estella has! NOOOOO!” On the other hand, I didn’t want Jeff Kent and Ali Landry to get sent home either. I suppose my viewing experience should take a backseat to Estella Warren’s well-being, but I was still torn.

Of course the Horry-Warren combo went down in the final and were sent packing.