College Football List Week: 5 Toughest Coaching Jobs in the Country
College Football July 10th. 2009, 4:30pm
Nearly all fan bases have grown increasingly demanding of their coaches in the internet era. The demand for instant, consistent results is significantly higher than it was a decade ago. This concludes college football list week. Hope it was as good for you as it was for us.
1. Alabama - A fanbase that borders on psychotic. With no pro football, basketball or baseball teams, there’s no competition (other than some occasional ankle biting from Auburn). ‘Bama’s football coach, it could be argued, is the most powerful man in state, and if he’s doing well, he’ll never have to pay for anything – meals, hookers, cars, to have his basement finished, etc. This hero’s welcome for Nick Saban was disgusting. So is 92,000 for a spring football game. Anyone want to guess the number of college coaches who have appeared on the cover of Time Magazine since Bear Bryant did?
Here’s what former Tide coach Bill Curry had to say about the gig: “My wife is a strong, intelligent woman. She has a Ph.D.; she’s not someone who is going to be intimidated. But she felt like our children were at risk. Those kinds of things just wear on you. Ninety-five percent of Alabama people are wonderful. The negative ones are throwing bricks or planting stories or doing whatever they can to make you uncomfortable. And when they want to make your life miserable, they work at it.”
2. Notre Dame - The breadth and wealth of the alumni make this job a challenging one. (As does the pressure of having its own channel.) We fully expect Weis to breakdown this season if there’s an unexpected loss, and scream, “Knute Rockne ain’t walking through those doors. Frank Leahy ain’t walking through those doors. Ara Parseghian, Lou Holtz – they’re not coming.” Urban Meyer, though?
3. Nebraska - Tom Osborne left the Cornhuskers after 25 years. Within three years, he was elected to Congress. In the history of most famous Nebraskans, he’s somewhere between Dick Cheney, Marlon Brando, Fred Astaire, Warren Buffett and Hilary Swank. The school is middle America’s version of Alabama, but with a significantly fewer number of lunatics.
4. Ohio State - Even though Jim Tressel reportedly told one-time OSU recruit Mark Sanchez that the most important people in the State were the Governor and the Buckeyes’ QB, you know he really meant “Nos. 2 and 3.” When was the last time an NFL coach from the Bengals or Browns was a bigger deal than the OSU coach? One could argue Sam Wyche when he took the Bengals to the Super Bowl, but one of the relentlessly faithful Buckeyes’ fans would smack you back into coherence. They’ll surely respond, ‘who cares if we were 4-6, Vince Workman was a beast!’
5. Michigan - Going with the maize and blue because of the program’s history (winning, stadium, song, etc). Bo’s 21 years in Ann Arbor spoiled the Wolverines, even though he didn’t win a National title. (Incredibly, Lloyd Carr got one, and nobody loves him.) Probably has the most competition of anyone on the list from quality pro franchises (Pistons, Tigers). And of course it doesn’t help that a) Penn State’s had the same coach forever, b) UM can’t beat OSU, c) it probably has the 2nd smartest fanbase of the schools on this list.
Just missed: UCLA. West Coast apathy, recruiting against storied USC, fighting for air-time and eye-balls with the Dodgers and Lakers. Not. Fun.
71 Responses to “College Football List Week: 5 Toughest Coaching Jobs in the Country”
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July 10th, 2009 at 4:37 PM
I’ve had better, but what lacked in length was made up for in effort.
/seriously, football lists are fire
/thank god it wasn’t NBA list week
July 10th, 2009 at 4:37 PM
You know, I don’t disagree with anything on here. I’d maybe move ND to #1 and AL to #2, but solid list.
Now what am I supposed to do?
July 10th, 2009 at 4:37 PM
Alabama is in a league of its own. Bill Curry went 10-0 to start the season, lost to Auburn, and they were ready to ride him out on a rail.
They’re a walking contradiction. They think they can get anyone they want, and then they just go for a former assistant “who does it Bear’s way.” They are gonna turn on Saban too the second he goes 8-4. A.K.A. December.
July 10th, 2009 at 4:38 PM
give tressel credit for 1 thing. he went from 1-AA to OSU and has succeeded. not many make a huge jump like that and win consistently.
July 10th, 2009 at 4:38 PM
I’d put Climpson on the just missed list too. Delusional fanbase, a puzzling never ending string of media hype, in a town that’s like Auburn with a lake. Lost in the Bill Curry mess at Alabama is the fact that it was perceived as a huge faux pas by Tech people when he took that job. It’s pretty much the sole reason he didn’t get hired as AD when Dave Braine retired. Agreed on Nebraska. How do you fire Frank Solich when he was consistently winning 9 games a season?
July 10th, 2009 at 4:39 PM
That’s what she said.
July 10th, 2009 at 4:40 PM
I’d say that, but you have to be down here. It would be like if Notre Dame hired a bunch of Ara Parshegian assistants and then bitch that they’re not winning. Then they finally make the big hire, and then dump him unceremoniously for another Parshegian assistant.
July 10th, 2009 at 4:40 PM
SMU…
we can’t pay players anymore. And the mere hint of impropriety will get us 5 years probation (the NCAA loves their poster child for bad acts). Good luck trying to compete in a shady world such as the NCAA with that kinda burden.
July 10th, 2009 at 4:40 PM
Found something! If you’re saying ND’s fans are smarter than UM, you’re out of your fucking mind.
Paolo in 3……2…….1…….
July 10th, 2009 at 4:41 PM
I cannot imagine anything more terrifying than having the state of Alabama angry with me.
July 10th, 2009 at 4:42 PM
Urban did it.
/fuck the MWC
July 10th, 2009 at 4:43 PM
This week of lists has been excellent!! Is Cheney really from Nebraska? That sucks if he is. Bama is such an easy #1..those fans are insane. 99% of them did not go to Bama, but they sure act like they have a stake in the program. I remember when Saban got off of the plane and some crazy woman groped and hugged him. 3 hours later she got pinched for a dui.
July 10th, 2009 at 4:45 PM
Yeah he’s from Nebraska. That’s where he met and married his high school sweet heart, starred on the football field, and masterminded the destruction of all mankind.
July 10th, 2009 at 4:46 PM
Not bad list, although I don’t think Meat-chicken belongs, at least not in comparison to the other 4. At least not until RichRod. The others were given time before getting heat (Carr and Moeller before him).
I would say that Clemson, Tennessee (just wait Lane), Auburn, LSU, Texas A&M, and Washington are schools off the top of my head that are very difficult to satisfy the base. I would make LSU the 5th one…
July 10th, 2009 at 4:46 PM
Great minds…
July 10th, 2009 at 4:46 PM
He was losing the program. He would have been fired a year or so later if it was not then. But when you look at his numbers, it makes NEB look silly when the canned him. It did not help that Pederson was the AD, and that dude wanted to make NEB a USC-like program, which is stupid. Pelini may or may not be the right coach for them now, but he is the right type of person for the state. Blue collar, hard working guy who loves defense.
July 10th, 2009 at 4:48 PM
bases loaded mrejr…
(I assure you ludwick will fail)
July 10th, 2009 at 4:48 PM
Anyone else staring at the clock? I’m bored.
July 10th, 2009 at 4:48 PM
More on Curry: 26-10 in 3 seasons, 3 bowl appearances (including one Sugar Bowl), 1 SEC Championship, 3 losses to Auburn
Apparently that’s not good enough. Unless and until the Fat Narsh reach that level of expectation, they’re not sniffing number one on this list.
July 10th, 2009 at 4:49 PM
There are at least 10 schools who have really dumb expectations, but this list nailed the top 5 I think. Though when Joe Pa and Bowden resign we will get a feel for what those fan bases are really like.
July 10th, 2009 at 4:50 PM
Yes, which is why this post made me so happy.
July 10th, 2009 at 4:51 PM
taguchi if the cubs would fail as much as ludwick did we would be winning. if soriano would hve popped up instead hitting line drive right to a fielder every time he came up we would be winning
July 10th, 2009 at 4:52 PM
I’m also posting nonsense to see if my new avatar came up. What is it showing?
July 10th, 2009 at 4:53 PM
wow……..
July 10th, 2009 at 4:53 PM
Soriano drops a pop fly! What a piece!
July 10th, 2009 at 4:54 PM
Nolte in all of his glory.
July 10th, 2009 at 4:54 PM
You guys are seriously asking for an endless Paolo political-sports-society-ethnicity rant.
July 10th, 2009 at 4:55 PM
I think it would be tough to coach at a school that has the name and the potential resources, can lure in a big name coach, but then won’t do what it takes to keep him when a powerhouse comes calling. Because that might jeopardize the money and resources of other programs at the school.
North Carolina comes to mind. UCLA too.
July 10th, 2009 at 4:56 PM
Cuck the Fubs!
July 10th, 2009 at 4:56 PM
wild pitch…
July 10th, 2009 at 4:57 PM
Awesome. That’s what I was going for.
July 10th, 2009 at 4:57 PM
my mind wont let me hate the cubs…but damn i want to soooo bad.
July 10th, 2009 at 4:57 PM
I wonder if he’ll call me gay?
July 10th, 2009 at 4:58 PM
damn, you guys watching it on tv? i’m just following on stat tracker, and it sucks.
July 10th, 2009 at 4:59 PM
I can hate them enough for both of us.
July 10th, 2009 at 5:00 PM
Saban spoiled LSU fans, but Saban made the stupid, greedy decision.
He had a chance to be to Louisiana what Bear Bryant was to Alabama. He coached the only real football program in the state, put a fence around it and kept in every recruit he wanted, and won a national championship from complete shit in 4 years.
It doesn’t matter what Les Miles does. He will always be compared to him. When he won in 2007, people complained that he did it with Saban’s players, which isn’t exactly true to begin with.
July 10th, 2009 at 5:01 PM
I think it’s tougher on the fanbase than the coach. Look at Tech. Curry left for Alabama (almost as bad as leaving for Climpson or georgia), Bobby Ross left for the NFL, the Bill Lewis era never happened, then O’Leary left for Notre Dame, and finally the Chan Gailey abomination. At least now we’ve got Paul Johnson, and I think we’ll do what it takes to keep him around, and I don’t think there’s another program he would jump to.
July 10th, 2009 at 5:01 PM
good because i have enough cardinal hate for about 5 people
July 10th, 2009 at 5:03 PM
Don’t worry mrejr, these are the playoff bound Chicago Cubs you’re talking about!
/SC’d
July 10th, 2009 at 5:05 PM
lefty…leave the cubs bashing to me they may be a sucky crappy team but they’re my sucky crappy team
July 10th, 2009 at 5:06 PM
You guys are seriously asking for an endless Paolo political-sports-society-ethnicity-sexuality rant.
/edited, ’cause yes, he would
July 10th, 2009 at 5:09 PM
hes been quiet since the weekend
July 10th, 2009 at 5:11 PM
Washington used to be, now days they get excited over a coach that shows recruiting potential. How the mighty have fallen.
July 10th, 2009 at 5:14 PM
summer school doesnt have a computer that allows tbl
July 10th, 2009 at 5:14 PM
Aren’t we long overdue for a lengthy Rich Harden DL stint?
July 10th, 2009 at 5:14 PM
He’s not a ship-jumping media whore like most coaches these days. Stand-up guy.
/fuck Petrino
July 10th, 2009 at 5:16 PM
Hey look! It’s former ND receiver Jeff Smardzkzsdfiaosgkasdggjia!
July 10th, 2009 at 5:17 PM
This year, instead of going on the DL Rich Harden has decided to be a giant pile of suck. I prefer this.
July 10th, 2009 at 5:17 PM
Sahairzja makes an appearance.
July 10th, 2009 at 5:20 PM
Jeff Smajdfdhjaghjffkjdgjia really makes me wish Harry Caray were still alive.
July 10th, 2009 at 5:21 PM
Ah, young grasshopper. I said my team has a better chance at making the playoffs than yours. And I’ll stick by it. Cubs have a 35% chance of making the playoffs.
Braves… somewhere in the neighborhood of 10%. If you get rid of Garrett Anderson for Brady Anderson, you’ve probably got a 15% chance.
/Braves offense is worse than Bears offense circa 2005.
July 10th, 2009 at 5:24 PM
Oh look! The only contract in Chicago worse than Alfonso Soriano is in the booth!
/you’ve caught me on a bitter Cubs/Cards weekend
July 10th, 2009 at 5:24 PM
How about the easiest?
1. South Carolina: You can go 6-6 or 7-5 each year, as long as your last name is Holtz or Spurrier.
2. USC: As one reporter once said, all Pete Carroll has to do is open up his office window, shout “we need a running back,” and 4 come running to you.
3. Texas: As long as the Aggies suck, you own almost every recruit in one of the three biggest recruiting states in the country (Adrian Peterson exception).
4. Miami: The program recruits itself. The coach is just a caretaker, unless you completely shit the bed like Coker. And what are the fans going to do? Still not show up?
5. Vanderbilt: You are considered the greatest coach in the history of the program if you go to two straight bowl games.
July 10th, 2009 at 5:24 PM
If the Cubs got rid of Alfonso Soriano for Alfonso Rebeiro, you’ve probably got a 65% chance.
July 10th, 2009 at 5:25 PM
“Kruk” spelled backwards is “Kurk”
/favorite Carayism
July 10th, 2009 at 5:27 PM
“Jason….. ICE-rig-haw-sen!”
July 10th, 2009 at 5:28 PM
“High, pop fly to 2nd base… And… HE DROPS THE BALL! HE LOST IT IN THE SUN! But, he’s DOMINICAN! HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN!?”
- Best Carayism
July 10th, 2009 at 5:28 PM
Oops, I almost forgot:
Bernard Guilty
Bernard Giltzey
Bernard Gilpo
/in the same game
//Bernard Gilkey
July 10th, 2009 at 5:29 PM
@lefty- I’ll take the corpse of Brant Brown for Soriano right now…
July 10th, 2009 at 5:29 PM
I’m not even going to try to phoenetically spell “Jose Vizcaino”.
July 10th, 2009 at 5:30 PM
Then there was the time when (then president) Reagan was in the booth with him. I can’t remember any specific incident, but Judd Apatow can’t write comedy better than that.
July 10th, 2009 at 5:33 PM
In all fairness, Gilkey would probably murder the pronunciation of Caray just as bad. He’s sober about as often as Caray was.
July 10th, 2009 at 5:37 PM
But, all this being said, I feel like I should say that Harry Caray made me a Cubs fan. Those games as a kid with him doing the stretch were awesome. I was I was old enough to have a story about seeing him in a bar and drinking with him.
My favorite Harry Caray memory. When he met Elvis. VIDEO.
July 10th, 2009 at 5:50 PM
I didn’t know the name of that documentary was “Hello again everybody”. I usually start and end my posts with “Hello again everybody” and “So long everybody”, because that’s what Skip would say every broadcast. I can’t find the link, but the Braves were selling t shirts that said “Hello again everybody” with Skip’s picture on the front, and said “So long everybody” on the back.
July 10th, 2009 at 6:56 PM
Did the Mets really trade more than a bag of balls and a fungo bat for Francouer?
July 10th, 2009 at 7:48 PM
(other than some occasional ankle biting from Auburn)
You have no idea what you are talking about.
July 10th, 2009 at 7:57 PM
but with a significantly fewer number of people.
If Nebraska had more than 148 inhabitants, they would be on the Tide’s level. Those people are out of their flippin’ minds.
I don’t get the MWC hate.
July 10th, 2009 at 8:53 PM
four hours later … that’s a GREAT line
July 11th, 2009 at 2:42 PM
Not necessary, as with the comments on Darth Cheney above it appears at last some more are coming along and get it.
I wonder if he’ll call me gay?
July 11th, 2009 at 3:00 PM
Why would I have to do that at this point? It’s not necessary now. Damn formatting.
July 13th, 2009 at 2:15 AM
As someone living in SEC country and having spent time in Big 10 and ACC areas, I will weigh in that there is nowhere ANYWHERE close to Alabama’s level of Crazy (yes, capital “c”) when it comes to college football.
That whole state is insane…Tuberville beat Bama 6 straight years, had one bad one and got canned.
Utterly insane, I tell you. The whole lot of ‘em.