It’s been over six years since the San Francisco 49ers have made the playoffs. In the last 10 years, they’ve seen the postseason just twice. That’s long enough for some of the NFL’s younger fans to have grown up with the Niners as just another Cleveland or Detroit, a sure mess of an organization with amusingly shaky management, who would consider finishing 8-8 as something to build on. Now that’s just sad.

This used to be one of the great model franchises in all of sports, led by a charismatic, pinky-ringed owner in Eddie DeBartolo Jr. and equally dynamic team president in fellow paisan Carmen Policy. But in 1997, things crumbled to pieces like Cris Chandler in the midst of a horrific sack, as your standard rumors of fraud, racketeering and bribery forced Eddie to hand over the reigns to his sister, Denise, and in turn, to her incredibly unpopular husband and retired cancer research pathologist, John York. That’s who I want calling the shots for my football team!

Since those unfortunate events, the Niners have gone 76-100. Not a tremendous pile of crap, but still certified dung, especially considering this was once a franchise that won at least 10 or more games for an astounding 16 straight seasons.

Their last truly great moment was “The Catch II”, featuring an emotional Terrell Owens clutching the ball and crying after the game. Yeah, much has changed.

The only fixture that still remains from their glory days is the one thing they’d like to move on from, Candlestick Park. Makes perfect sense.

The Quarterback Tradition: The epic battles between Montana and Young are a distant memory now that we have a joust for the ages taking place between Alex Smith, who even gets booed at training camp, and Shaun Hill. Coach Singletary has already stated his plan for these two is to wait until after the team’s Aug. 29 preseason game against Dallas to make his decision. The problem is, he should have announced his choice at the start of training camp. Smith’s career record is 11-19, with 19 TDs and 31 picks. No one on the team trusts him. He’s a buzzkill. He’s the guy who brings video games to an orgy. Hill is by no means the franchise savior, but he’s serviceable and won’t single-handedly kill games for you. He’s 7-3 as the starter with 18 TDs and 9 picks. The earlier Hill gets Singletary’s official blessing, the better.

The Crabtree Debacle: What started as an unexpected positive with this amazing prize falling right into their lap (thanks Al!) has turned into a problematic situation that’s getting ugly fast. Crabtree remains unsigned and his handlers have stated he might sit out the whole year and re-enter the draft in 2010. What fun. Here’s an idea, quit dicking around, take #10 pick money and do the Paul Pierce — make those other nine teams take a mallet to their balls every time they see you play. San Fran� will actually be deep at wide receiver for a change, but this is Michael Crabtree, they need this guy in camp. And if you’re convinced he will be a bust, your head is filled with more nuts than Tera Patrick’s mouth.

The Kurt Warner Dream: A 38-year old quarterback who had two great years after five embarrassing ones? No thanks. They should be singing blissful hymns to celebrate the fact he wasn’t interested.

No More Mike Martz! Despite his proven offensive wizardry and affable relationship with failed starter J.T. O’Sullivan, Martz was shown the door for the third time in three years. Anyone who looks like Brian Dennehy and exudes the bitter demeanor of one of his characters is usually going to rub people the wrong way. Not a surprise. Plus, and this is important, it means Vernon Davis will actually be catching passes instead of being confined to blocking assignments. The guy was drafted sixth overall! About time they get some real use out of this beast.

Change in Attitude? Speaking of Davis, remember Singletary’s Week 8 rant after his first game as head honcho? (Stress on after, because we will not discuss halftime. That’s tired.) The wide-eyed Hall of Famer went off, basically saying he kicked Davis off the field because the MeShawyn crap will not be tolerated. As a Niner fan, you gotta love that boot-in-the-ass treatment, particularly when it’s directed at a guy who needed it. If there’s one thing these Niner teams have lacked over the past several seasons, it’s been any semblance of an identity. Simply put, they’ve just been there, bringing about much punch to the table as a pair of khakis and a white button-down. Last year they ended up winning four of their final five games. He’s doing something right.

Does The QB Really Need to Get Chuck Cecil’d on Every Play? The offensive line has allowed 110 sacks over the last two seasons, the most by any team in the NFL. Yes, that even includes the Lions (106). Step it up guys. Time to cut the horseshit, get motivated and watch some game film of Guy McIntyre, Harris Barton, Steve Wallace and Jesse Sapolu. They’ll show you how it’s done.

Patrick Willis and The Defense: The two-time All-Pro enters his third season ready to embrace the leadership role. In two words, altered beast. He’s recently taken up MMA with Randy Couture to improve his football skills. This might get ugly, in a good way. Who’s the last great linebacker they had here? With names like Lee Woodall and Gary Plummer, it’s so hard to choose. Ken Norton? He was on the decline when he arrived from Dallas. I’ll settle with Keith DeLong, only because he was good in the old Madden. As a unit, the defense finished last season ranked 13th overall. They’ll be even better upfront this year, so as long as they can get something out of Dre’ Bly at the right corner, that ranking should improve. Bly’s just psyched� to get the hell out of Denver.

The New Face of The Franchise: This is John York’s 11-year old son, Jed. He’s the Niners acting Team President/Owner these days. The upside? He’s not all York, he runs on DeBartolo blood too. That’s enough right there to at least give him a chance. The downside? He spends more time getting primped than your girlfriend on a Saturday night and only needs a pair off eyeglasses to become the son of Daniel Snyder. Both are terrifying signs, particularly the latter.

Don’t Forget Frank Gore: With news out of camp being centered around their QB “dilemma” and the Crabtree situation, many have neglected to mention Frank Gore. He’s the only Niner running back to rush for over 1,000 yards for three straight seasons, and he’ll be getting the ball even more this year now that Martz is out of the picture. Kind of amazing that Roger Craig or Ricky Watters never accomplished that, but those two were also catching a ton of balls out of the backfield.

Winning Vibe: They have a player named Bear Pascoe, who as you can see, isn’t fucking around. His name is a victory in itself.

Still Waiting On …

… The contract of Brent Jones to expire. In an unusual deal, Brent stays on the books until the new stadium is built. True cap hell.

… The greatest wide receiver in the history of the sport to cease embarrassing himself. Seriously, please stop.

Prediction: It’s a stretch to see them being any better than 9-7, but in the NFC West that record could mean nothing but pure glory.