Before you injure a rib laughing at that one, SI’s Andy Staples has a pretty neat college football history lesson for you: Back in 2000, when USC fired Paul Hackett, nobody wanted the head coaching job. Dennis Erickson and Mike Bellotti passed, and Mike Riley, who was coaching the Chargers at the time, wavered. Eventually, the Trojans settled on Pete Carroll, who had been fired from the Patriots job a year before. The reaction was outrage:

Writing for The Orange County Register, reporter Janis Carr painted a vivid picture of the vitriol. “In the days leading up to Carroll’s appointment, the athletic department was inundated with an estimated 2,500 similar phone calls and e-mails — thanks to someone who posted Garrett’s e-mail address on a variety of USC-linked Web sites — mostly blasting Garrett’s decision to hire Carroll,” Carr wrote. “Some even went so far as to threaten to donate their money to academic programs rather than the football team.”

You know how that’s worked out.

Enter Chizik in Auburn.

The school couldn’t find a big name to take the job. Fans vented when the school picked Chizik, a guy who had been unsuccessful (at 5-19 “dumpster fire” works) at Iowa State. One of the most famous in Auburn history, Charles Barkley, brought race into the equation. But Staples, who appears to be an eternal optimist, lays out a case for Chizik perhaps being successful in Auburn.

Maybe any coach short of Vince Lombardi was doomed to fail in Ames. In the past six recruiting classes, the state of Iowa has produced an average of 12.3 BCS-conference signees a year. Since Iowa State must fight Iowa for those players, the Cyclones must look elsewhere for talent. So, like other schools in talent-light states, Iowa State sought players from Florida and Texas. Unfortunately, so did almost everyone else, and most schools could offer a better chance to win, a better locale or both compared to Iowa State. Auburn, meanwhile, sits in a state that produced an annual average of 47.5 BCS conference signees during the past six years, and it’s a two-hour drive from the recruiting goldmine of Atlanta.

Of course, the competition in the south for players will be much more fierce than it was in Iowa. Back to Carroll at USC: He lost four of his first five games with the Trojans before turning things around and getting to a bowl game. The passionate Auburn fans are sure to be much more vocal if their new coach opens 1-4.

Answers coming for nation’s most fascinating coach: Gene Chizik [SI.com]