Does Sex Improve Athletic Performance?
Cricket, Jacking off, Soccer, Tim Tebow September 24th. 2009, 9:15am
To sex or not to sex before a competition. It’s a debate affecting all virile male athletes. Do you fly onto the field with the flurry of post-coital testosterone or store up the masculine essence to unleash a wave unrequited fury on your opponent? The Indian National Cricket Team, ranked #1 in the world, has opted for boning.
India’s coach Gary Kirsten broached the subject in a chapter entitled “Does sex increase performance?” He thinks it does.
With the conviction only one with no medical training could muster, Kirsten argues increased levels of testosterone from sexual activity improve “strength, aggression and competitiveness.” He also writes that prolonged dry spells for both men and women lead to passivity and decreased aggression. Athletes should actively seek it.
There’s evidence to support Kirsten’s contention. Brazilian soccer players are known for excellence on and off the pitch. When wet blanket Pele was injured in 1962, serial insemenator Garrincha led the team to World Cup glory. Brazil only lost once in the 50 games he played during the 1950’s and 60’s.
The jorts and crocs crowd would argue the opposite, as Tim Tebow’s pent up semen powers them to a national title. Let us not forget Tom Brady’s lost year with Tara Reid in 2002.
You can also make the case sex has no effect. After Sven Goran-Eriksson rescinded his WAGs ban for the 2006 World Cup, England played as limp and indifferently as they had before.
47 Responses to “Does Sex Improve Athletic Performance?”
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September 24th, 2009 at 9:20 AM
Crocs.
And I vote in favor of it. Athletes need a healthy release.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:21 AM
Damn Tebow. I’d hit that like John Phillips at a family reunion.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:21 AM
lets go with that
September 24th, 2009 at 9:22 AM
Does Tebow have a hard and fast rule against posing for pictures with small-breasted women?
September 24th, 2009 at 9:24 AM
If I were Tebow football would be my second hobby.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:24 AM
With the conviction only one with no medical training could muster,
Does it count if he stayed at a Holiday Inn Express last night?
September 24th, 2009 at 9:24 AM
Sex weakens the legs.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:25 AM
I wonder if the NCAA has rules prohibiting income based on sperm donation. Tebow could make a killing in Florida.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:26 AM
what would be the first?
boar hunting?
/oh…banging. i get it…
September 24th, 2009 at 9:27 AM
Sex weakens the legs.
Truth. The rule of thumb we used in college was, as long as you can get sleep in between sex and gametime, it’s ok. If you’re going to fuck in the morning, you better skip you’re 11am class to take a nap before the 3pm afternoon game. It works.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:28 AM
Tara Reid had a negative effect on everyone. Brady, Shockey, and then Urlacher.
Tebow is a virgin, he shouldn’t even be considered for this. I would think lack of sex for those who aren’t virigns would lead to serious pent up aggression, and in football this would lead to letting it all out on the field.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:28 AM
if you’re quoting Mickey, I believe it was “Women weaken legs!”
September 24th, 2009 at 9:28 AM
Magic Johnson thought so and then…
September 24th, 2009 at 9:29 AM
no wonder i quit my run 10 minutes in yesterday
/TMI
September 24th, 2009 at 9:30 AM
Boxers have been doing this for years. I’m not sure there’s been any significant scientific proof of whether abstinence before athletics is of any help or not. I imagine if you’re getting a BJ an hour prior to gametime, that’s probably not going to help.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:31 AM
Fred Durst should get his ass kicked daily.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:33 AM
http://www.kansan.com/news/2008/jul/14/sports/
http://mmajunkie.com/news/14161/ask-the-doc-does-abstinence-really-boost-athletic-performance.mma
http://www.clt.astate.edu/digitaldelphi/SexAthleticAbstinence2.html
Survey says….fuck it!
September 24th, 2009 at 9:33 AM
He once launched fireworks at the guy from Creed. So, he gets a free pass.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:34 AM
I don’t know, sure is fun though isn’t it
/Kingpin’d
September 24th, 2009 at 9:34 AM
NHOH
September 24th, 2009 at 9:35 AM
You should get your ass kicked daily for giving Fred Durst a pass. In order for that guy to get a pass he need to find Bin Laden.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:36 AM
After a cursory Google search, abstinence before sporting events is about as useful as an Xbox 360 headset.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:37 AM
i think that lead graph belongs in esquire or vanity fair, not a sports blog.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:38 AM
and cure cancer
September 24th, 2009 at 9:38 AM
Thanks Duffy now I have “My own Prison” Going on a continuous loop in my head.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:41 AM
Sex is good for dominating the nba
/Wilt Chamberlain 10,000 strong
September 24th, 2009 at 9:41 AM
compliment? what is sports blog writing style?
Was laughing, but now it’s in my head…
September 24th, 2009 at 9:41 AM
For football in high school, we all tried to keep contact with girls minimal from training camp until the beginning of the season. Girls on nights after the game.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:43 AM
you kids and your interwebs lingo…had to look this one up.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:43 AM
For football in high school, we all tried to keep contact with girls minimal from training camp until the beginning of the season. Girls on nights after the game.
so boy on boy was good to go the other 6 nights?
September 24th, 2009 at 9:43 AM
Some of the guys on my team gangbanged this big bitch that played OL on JV.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:44 AM
For football in high school, we all tried to keep contact with girls minimal from training camp until the beginning of the season
I had no trouble keeping the girls away.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:46 AM
generally, it’s not some flowery, esoteric bullshit.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:46 AM
Some of the guys on my team gangbanged this big bitch that played OL on JV.
Tampa: her? (SFW)
September 24th, 2009 at 9:48 AM
burn.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:52 AM
whatever the “sports blog writing style” is, we hopefully have something different.
IMO, if blogs begin to look and sound like newspapers and espn … game over.
September 24th, 2009 at 9:53 AM
Hey, just because I said girls after the game meant the boy on boy had to stop.
/NTTAWWT
September 24th, 2009 at 9:55 AM
You forgot to add /too soon?
September 24th, 2009 at 9:55 AM
uh,oh.
not trying to start a ronnie the limo driver/j.d. type feud.
September 24th, 2009 at 10:11 AM
yea i’ve read tons of magazines like vanity fair and esquire that refer to sex as boning
September 24th, 2009 at 10:33 AM
I write for the forum I aspire to.
September 24th, 2009 at 10:38 AM
perhaps you mis-interpreted … i see most newspapers are boring and formulaic and AP-driven. i’d read duffy’s taken on just about anything before about 95% of the sports columnists in newspapers.
September 24th, 2009 at 11:20 AM
I had sex this morning and I’m getting a ton done at work today.. I’m just saying
September 24th, 2009 at 11:42 AM
Brooke Hogan supports this claim.
September 24th, 2009 at 11:52 AM
bravo. As to the sex thing, I think it’s good for athletes and negative for heads of state.
September 24th, 2009 at 12:08 PM
Let’s see if commenting works, eh?
September 24th, 2009 at 12:08 PM
Oh, I’m in the motherf*cker.