NFL Power Rankings: Week 3
NFL September 29th. 2009, 1:45pm
Peter King has his Fine Fifteen, ESPN has its own composite power rankings, and the legendary Dr. Z’s weekly power rankings were a must-read until he was stricken silent by a stroke last year. So, why can’t TBL get in on the fun? Here’s the third installment of the 2009 NFL in-season power rankings:
1. New York Giants (3-0): A week after being ripped by the Cowboys for 250-plus rushing yards, the Giants held the punchless Bucs to 86 total yards while controlling the ball for 46 minutes. We’re assuming Mike Lupica still stands by his Eli > Brees statement he made Sunday morning.
2. Baltimore Ravens (3-0): It’s hard to take too much from a 30-point thrashing of the Browns (they certainly won’t be the last to do that this season), but the Ravens currently look like the most complete team in the NFL. They’re averaging just over 34 points a game while only surrendering 17. And they’re now two games up on the Steelers in the AFC North.
3. Indianapolis Colts (3-0): From the possibly-meaningless stats dept: the Colts have not lost a regular-season game since last October, and in those 12 straight wins Peyton Manning has thrown 24 TD’s against just five INT’s. Cause for concern: early Defensive Player of the Year candidate Dwight Freeney is likely out for at least a month.
4. New Orleans Saints (3-0): Drew Brees didn’t throw a TD pass and the Saints looked ordinary for three quarters – until Pierre Thomas and the New Orleans’ running game gouged the Bills for 17 fourth-quarter points in murky Buffalo. Next up, the…
5. New York Jets (3-0): Mark Sanchise and Rex Ryan are the collective toast of New Jersey. Speaking of Jersey, anyone seen that Cory Booker reality show Brick City that recently premiered on Sundance Channel? Good stuff. Not as good as Larry David and fellatio, but then again, what is? Wait a minute, there’s gotta be a better way to say that.
6. Minnesota Vikings (3-0): VF Corp knew what it was doing when it acquired Wranger before this Graybeard mess began anew.
7. New England Patriots (2-1): These aren’t your 2007 Patriots, who scored at will and often threw inside the five-yard line late in blowouts just because they could. These Patriots aren’t that good. Unfortunately for the rest of the NFL, this version more closely resembles their gritty title teams from the earlier part of this decade. Don’t sleep on the Elvii.
8. San Diego Chargers (2-1): Sunday night’s trip to Pittsburgh could catapult the Chargers into the AFC homefield discussion, with a bye week, Denver, Kansas City and Oakland following their playoff “revenge” game with the champs. Marmalard, mothertruckas!
9. Green Bay Packers (2-1): The good news is that their home loss to the Bengals doesn’t look so bad now. The not-so-good news is that blowing out the Rams doesn’t mean much and they still needed four Jay Culter turnovers to beat the Bears at home in week one. Hard team to pin down right now. We’ll know more after the Monday Night Game That Shall Not Be Mentioned (from this point on) takes place.
10. San Francisco 49ers (2-1): If Mike Singletary had it to do over, would he still employ the prevent in the waning moments of the Niners’ loss to the Vikings? Probably not. But his team is the clear NFC West frontrunner at the moment, even though that’s like saying Mark Paul Gosselaar’s had the best post-Saved by the Bell career. Although, if you’re ever in the Van Nuys area, you can catch Dennis Haskins doing some karaoke (Billingsley, Belding, it’s all the same).
11. Philadelphia Eagles (2-1): Whither the McRib (invented by the Black Irish, BTW)? Resting up, enjoying his team’s bye week, waiting for the inevitable “Vick wants more snaps” stories to overrun the NFL airwaves. Peter King hinted at it this morning.
12. Atlanta Falcons (2-1): The Falcons’ defense unraveled against the Patriots in Foxboro, giving up 445 total yards and being kept on the field for nearly 40 minutes. If the Patriots hadn’t gone one for five in the red zone, this one could’ve gotten ugly, er, uglier.
13. Denver Broncos (3-0): Is slotting them behind six one-loss teams a slap in the face? Probably, but it took them 59-plus minutes to score on the Bengals and they haven’t exactly been facing worldbeaters since then. And besides, they needed some divine intervention to beat the Bengals, anyway. This team has upcoming four-game skid written all over it, which means they’ll probably start 7-1 just to spite everyone.
14. Dallas Cowboys (2-1): Alright, the Cowboys got that first win in the JerraDome out of the way, so can we stop talking about the giant TV now? It’s huge, it’s expensive, punts hit it, and we’ve now covered the Ultimate Jumbotron ad nauseum.
15. Chicago Bears (2-1): Apparently, the columnists in Chicago were uneducated before, but now that Cutler’s arrived, they’re Rhodes Scholars.
16. Cincinnati Bengals (2-1): Could the Hard Knocks curse be over? Well, let’s not go looking for cell phones on each other’s floorboards just yet. But this Bengals team is no NFC North doormat, that much is clear. Do they have enough talent to keep Marvin Lewis in tiger stripes for one more year?
17. Pittsburgh Steelers (1-2): Last season, the Steelers always managed to pull out close regular-season wins at the end (except for against the Giants and Colts). This season, they’ve already failed twice in that regard. It’s probably the offensive line’s fault. Or the kicker’s. Or the Troy P.-less defense. But once they start winning the tight ones again, You-Know-Who will be the reason. [Ed. Oh no he didn't!]
18. Buffalo Bills (1-2): Rodney Harrison vs. T.O., let’s get those picks in! Or wait until the pre-fight drug screens come back, whatever.
19. Seattle Seahawks (1-2): Seneca Wallace was servicable in Matt Hasselbeck’s stead Sunday. Their kicker, on the other hand, might want to keep the classifieds glued to his hand this week.
20. Arizona Cardinals (1-2): Sunday night once again illustrated the longtime nagging flaw in Kurt Warner’s game (other than his health): turnovers. When the pocket isn’t clean, Kurt will cough it up. Now, the Cardinals are staring up at the Niners in the division and already lost to them.
21. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-2): You know the once-rugged AFC South has fallen on hard times when a lame duck coach oversees the division’s second-place squad.
22. Houston Texans (1-2): If they go 7-6 from here on out…
23. Tennessee Titans (0-3): Starting 0-3 is supposedly a playoff death sentence. We may be watching the last days of Kerry Collins unfold. If they have some Asia Argento areola, count me in.
24: Detroit Lions (1-2): Losing streak over. Nightmare over. Now go play the Bears and Steelers back-to-back. Gee thanks, NFL!
25: Oakland Raiders (1-2): When the Redkins run Jason Campbell out of town after this season (and they will), maybe the Raiders should make a run at him? He can’t do any worse than JaMarcus Russell, who’s currently carrying a blistering 39.8 QB rating.
26. Washington Redskins (1-2): Who’s to blame – Zorn? Snyder? Campbell? All three? As the Redskins head toward a 3-13 or 4-12 season, expect someone’s head to roll. And it won’t be the one sucking face with Tom Cruise in the owner’s box.
27. Miami Dolphins (0-3): The Dolphins HAVE to win Sunday against the Bills. If not, their next-best chance for a win isn’t until week 10 when they take on Tampa Bay. Last year’s cinderella season feels a long way off right now in South Beach. Good thing they have that sweet ownership group.
28. Carolina Panthers (0-3): Last night’s game was a must win. They didn’t. Bill Cowher’s currently breaking down Panthers’ game tape, figuring out which guys he wants to keep for next year. Jon Beason, DeAngelo Williams, Steve Smith, Jordan Gross, Jeff Otah and Jonathan Stewart should all be good. Everyone else? Not so much.
29. St. Louis Rams (0-3): That’s 13 straight L’s for the Goats, who can now look forward to Kyle Boller under center for at least the immediate future. Luckily, the Cardinals just clinched the NL Central so no one in Hamsterdam cares.
30. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-3): We had a Josh Johnson sighting in Raymond James Stadium Sunday, as an ineffective Byron Leftwich was benched late. Johnson’s been the named the starter, at least on an interim basis. Can the beginning of the Josh Freeman era be far behind?
31. Kansas City Chiefs (0-3): Hey, the $60 million man completed 14-of-18 passes for two touchdowns Sunday! His completions only covered 90 yards, but it’s going to be a year of small victories for the Chefs.
32. Cleveland Browns (0-3): At this point any kind of joke would just be piling on.
104 Responses to “NFL Power Rankings: Week 3”
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September 29th, 2009 at 1:50 PM
Buff too high
September 29th, 2009 at 1:50 PM
Yeah, Zimmerman’s work has lagged noticeably since then.
/Though it’s still better than this.
September 29th, 2009 at 1:50 PM
browns are too high.
September 29th, 2009 at 1:50 PM
The Bears are better than the Broncos…The Vikings are better than the Jets…I’d probably have the 49ers a little higher too…I think the Dolphins and Panthers could beat the Redskins too.
Otherwise, it’s week 3 and these are still tough to figure out. After this Sunday/Monday, it’ll be easier to determine.
September 29th, 2009 at 1:52 PM
good job, Cap. Always one of the best written posts of the week
The Bills suck
/I got nothing else
September 29th, 2009 at 1:52 PM
I’d like to see a divisional power rankings too.
September 29th, 2009 at 1:52 PM
Dallas is probably better than Denver. Dallas lost on a last second field goal to the Giants, your number one team.
September 29th, 2009 at 1:53 PM
We’re assuming Mike Lupica still stands by his Eli > Brees statement he made Sunday morning.
Mike Lupica is an assclown. I stand by that statement.
September 29th, 2009 at 1:54 PM
Houston Texans (1-2): If they go 7-6 from here on out…
[does math, counts on fingers, studies graphs]….they could still be better than half the NFL?
Where did this shitty Texans defense come from?
September 29th, 2009 at 1:54 PM
How can the Skins be ranked higher than anyone right now?
Vikings are better than 6, but not really complaining, because they tend to suck when people think they are good.
September 29th, 2009 at 1:55 PM
browns are too high.
Spencer is that the first time you’ve put the words ‘too’ and ‘high’ next to each other in a sentence?
September 29th, 2009 at 1:55 PM
Thanks!!!
September 29th, 2009 at 1:55 PM
Skins deserve to be lower. This from a lifelong Skins fan. The team quit on Zorn. They only beat St. Louis by 2 at home. St. Louis is awful but the skins probably would have lost that game on the road.
Zorn is not to blame. Neither is Campbell. But they both need to go. So does Portis. Need to blow it up and rebuild.
September 29th, 2009 at 1:55 PM
Jamarcus Russell is a really, really good quarterback.
/darrell
September 29th, 2009 at 1:57 PM
/looks in top drawer
+0.5… sorry, I had to tip the pizza guy last night. It’s all I got.
September 29th, 2009 at 1:57 PM
You people bitch and bitch, so Ben starts playing like Cutler and Rivers (putting up decent stats and losing) and you still rip on him.
I give up
September 29th, 2009 at 1:57 PM
Well, if Drew Brees was any good, he’d be playing in New York.
/Lupica Science
September 29th, 2009 at 1:57 PM
Really? What games have you been watching there?
/most overblown story ever
/fuck aj trapasso
September 29th, 2009 at 1:58 PM
na…i’ve used it as an excuse as to why i couldn’t bang a pigg’un.
September 29th, 2009 at 1:58 PM
Why are they 8 spots above last place?
September 29th, 2009 at 1:58 PM
Who dey?
September 29th, 2009 at 2:00 PM
im actually off the big ben hate train for right now.
well…i still hate him more than waiting in a drive thru ATM line behind a woman depositing 40 checks individually in a car with a broken exhaust, but i don’t hate his game as much as i did last year.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:01 PM
JamarTavarrByJason RussJackLeftCampbell is really the same bad QB rolled up into an overrated and stale pigs in a blanket
September 29th, 2009 at 2:01 PM
The Redskins won’t go 4-12. They get Oakland, Kansas City, Denver, Tampa Bay still on the schedule. I know they’re bad but no way are they 4-12 bad. They’ll go 7-9, remember they lost to St. Louis last year and still beat the Eagles twice and Cowboys once.
The best part of the Skins game was running a lateral play instead of throwing it into the end zone on the last play. Zorn is a moron.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:04 PM
Speaking of the Ben…It’s funny and doesn’t take long to read.
Thigpen isn’t going to start in Miami, is he? They gotta give Henne a shot.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:05 PM
/racist
September 29th, 2009 at 2:05 PM
@Maggs a little self esteem boost.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:07 PM
I’m thoroughly enjoying Kurt Warner and his 16th career meltdown.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:07 PM
What he said, literally, was that he’d rather have Eli for a comeback than Drew Brees, which I could kind of sorta see. It was still one of those ass-holish remarks that was completely unnecessary to say.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:08 PM
AlRexBradDe SmiGrossQuiAnderson is really the same bad QB rolled up into an overrated and stale pigs in a blanket
/reverse racist’d
September 29th, 2009 at 2:08 PM
What’s so wrong with taking a 28-yard sack?
September 29th, 2009 at 2:09 PM
Marques Tuiasasopo sucks too. So does Tony Romo.
/covering all the racist bases
September 29th, 2009 at 2:10 PM
Marques Tuiasasopo sucks too. So does Tony Romo.
/covering all the racist bases
Tommy Chang? check
Sonny Sixkiller? check
Joe Kapp? check
did I miss anybody?
September 29th, 2009 at 2:10 PM
Play of the year.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:10 PM
24: Detroit Lions (1-2): Losing streak over. Nightmare over. Now go play the Bears and Steelers back-to-back. Gee thanks, NFL!
Why are they 8 spots above last place?
There’s a lot of shit at the bottom and the Lions have a “1″ in the first column.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:11 PM
with statements like this, you’d expect them to be the nubmer 1 team in power rankings…but alas, the Giants are put there again
September 29th, 2009 at 2:15 PM
They made taking apart the Browns look appallingly easy. Since it was the Browns, I’m not quite sure what to make of the Ravens yet. If they beat NE in Foxboro next week, I’m on board.
What will Stiller-ville be like when the Steelers fall to 1 – 3?
September 29th, 2009 at 2:16 PM
Seriously, you and PK both with the Broncos ahead of the Bears (among others). I don’t care if they are 3-0, this makes no sense. They are fluke play away from having the same record and have beaten 2 of the 5 worst teams in the NFL for the 2 wins.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:17 PM
I actually think that’s about right for Detroit. Every team after them on this list is pretty much deader than Lassie at this point.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:17 PM
Anyone watching US – Cameroon? What the fuck is that trippy woman saying in the background.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:17 PM
Its Timmy Chang asshole.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:18 PM
You forgot JaySageSid FiedleRosenfeLuckman
September 29th, 2009 at 2:20 PM
sniff…
i miss my chong bong. so beautiful…so fragile…
WHY?!?!?!?!?!?!
September 29th, 2009 at 2:21 PM
Its Timmy Chang asshole.
thanks jizzfarmer
September 29th, 2009 at 2:23 PM
The Redskins deserve that ranking. Orakpo looks good so far for a rookie, but drafting Michael Oher when they had the chance could have gotten them another 2-3 wins this year. Fucking Danny and Vinny…
September 29th, 2009 at 2:25 PM
September 29th, 2009 at 2:25 PM
You’re a funny guy. Keep using race as a crutch, Skippy.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:25 PM
Quote code FAIL.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:26 PM
thanks jizzfarmer
buy local!
September 29th, 2009 at 2:27 PM
I don’t know if anyone posted this already elsewhere – but Big Ben is hosting Raw next week.
/Tomlin refused comment at his presser today.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:27 PM
No problem Grand Dragon
September 29th, 2009 at 2:29 PM
The Giants are too low.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:29 PM
WOW.
Twins have run on third, one out, in top of the 9th in a 1-1 tie.
Lyon gets Punto to pop up a bunt on a suicide squeeze, he catches it, then throws to third to double up the runner. Going to bottom 9.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:30 PM
How is Darrell liking J Russell racist?
I’m tired of this. I’m going to go back to watching “The Color Purple” on BET.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:31 PM
Darrell’s just mad because he’s been reduced to a punch line yet again.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:32 PM
The Giants are too low.
where’s your book of cute quotes now, Sparty? Pride goeth, etc etc…
September 29th, 2009 at 2:34 PM
It’s actually Grand Wizard. Wizard.
Sorry.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:35 PM
but grand dragon has AWESOME egg rolls and general tso’s.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:35 PM
I would take the bears straight up against all 5 of the teams above them right now.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:36 PM
Its Timmy Chang asshole.
thanks jizzfarmer
It is actually Tommy Chong.
/Spence’d
September 29th, 2009 at 2:36 PM
Thx SC. I was gonna continue the stupidity, but decided not to
September 29th, 2009 at 2:37 PM
Guys, guys. Can’t we all just agree that everyone is racist?
September 29th, 2009 at 2:38 PM
Bronco Haters:
1) Top O-line in the league (even when Cutler was the QB)
2) Look what the Bungles have done to GB and Pitt – we held them to 1 TD
3) 2 H-O-F’ers on D in Champ and BDawk
4) #1 D in league (remember Oak almost beat SD)
5) Beat the bad teams each by 3 touchdowns.
Like it or not. They are a top 10 team
September 29th, 2009 at 2:38 PM
Can’t all play the Mighty Seahawks and their Backup QB, 2 backup LB’s and 2 backup CB’s.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:39 PM
Not until we agree that Jason Campbell is a good quarterback, and in no way was a waste of a first round draft pick.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:39 PM
i don’t like it.
therefore, you’re wrong and i’m right.
and i believe some of what you said was racist. RACIST!!!
September 29th, 2009 at 2:39 PM
Yea, but he’s a shell of his former self. That’s like taking credit for John Lynch.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:39 PM
jpq, I havent been here all day… did you lose a bet?
September 29th, 2009 at 2:40 PM
That engagement ring on the blonde’s finger with Moreno has to be comforting to her fiancee.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:40 PM
I came at you with facts, and you fell back on your race card. Don’t worry about it Dirtheavy, it happened to better than you.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:41 PM
ill…i checked out some more of that crossfit site and watched a bunch of the videos. im totally gonna make myself puke tomorrow morning.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:41 PM
and i believe some of what you said was racist. RACIST!!!
we need to ask the living former Democratic Presidents for a rules interpretation on this
September 29th, 2009 at 2:41 PM
And my bold prediction: Skins finish 9-7.
/bring it
September 29th, 2009 at 2:41 PM
Moreno’s not a threat. He’s a ghey.
/seriously, did you see him on draft day?
September 29th, 2009 at 2:42 PM
Well, JPQ, I think it goes “Disagreeing with our current President at any time.”
/shows self out
September 29th, 2009 at 2:43 PM
jpq, I havent been here all day… did you lose a bet?
I won vs Hernia (ND vs Purdue WITH POINTS!), but Hernia misremembered that fact, so I decided to take the loss as an act of good sportsmanship
September 29th, 2009 at 2:43 PM
spencer – it’s easy to do. I’ve booted at least once a month from that shit. Also, you can click on the “affiliates” link and get “workouts of the day” from crossfit gyms across the country. I have a couple different ones i search through for days when I don’t feel like doing the workout on the main page.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:44 PM
Enjoy the next 2 months of football. I recommend drinking heavily
September 29th, 2009 at 2:45 PM
Thanks for the laugh, I needed that today.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:45 PM
Hold the phone, Cap: TBL actually let you put the Saints AHEAD of the Jets? Hope you’re sleeping with one eye open for the rest of the week…
TBL, I’m emailing you about a potential bet. It obviously doesn’t have to be about money…
September 29th, 2009 at 2:45 PM
In one of the toughest road environments in the NFL…The Bears also beat the Steelers. The Broncos fluke win over the Bengals and the awful Raiders/Browns doesn’t count for much.
Dawkins in like 49 years old. It’s easy to be the #1 D in the league when the teams you play are averaging a COMBINED 14 PPG.
You cannot honestly believe the Broncos are a top ten team in the league… if you do, I will bet you whatever you want that they win NO MORE than 3.5 games this year. In fact, they’re about to go 1-5 in their next 6.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:46 PM
does this movie ever get good?
September 29th, 2009 at 2:47 PM
Moreno’s not a threat. He’s a ghey.
If he’s ghey, what is Nesbitt? A tranny hooker who can’t throw a spiral?
September 29th, 2009 at 2:47 PM
Shut the fuck up Rodney King.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:49 PM
3.5 games the rest of the season*
September 29th, 2009 at 2:51 PM
That hurts. I consider myself more of an Amadou Diallo.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:52 PM
So did the 2-1 Bengals, who needed 59:22 before even scoring on the Broncos.
But he still plays pretty well. And: the Bengals, Browns and Raiders managed 5.3 points per game against the Broncos. They’ve averaged 18.3 against other opponents.
I’m not claiming they’re the come all end all, but to say the Bears deserve to be ranked higher based on beating the Steelers and a Week 4 pre-season version of the Seahawks is ridiculous.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:52 PM
No, you’re describing Jason Campbell.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:53 PM
nice…thanks again for the link. i need a change…my current routine is getting stale.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:54 PM
damn it, I meant Abner Louima
September 29th, 2009 at 2:55 PM
tampa bo…easy there…you’re beginning to sound a lil bit racist thurr.
September 29th, 2009 at 2:58 PM
thurr? What the fuck is that supposed to mean!?
September 29th, 2009 at 3:00 PM
it means it’s 55 fucking degrees in cleveland and im freezing my gonads off.
September 29th, 2009 at 3:01 PM
Im racist against the weather up north.
September 29th, 2009 at 3:03 PM
That’s good since they play the NFC North in the schedule rotation this year.
September 29th, 2009 at 3:03 PM
You’re racist against hetrosexuals, Tampa.
/nttawwt
September 29th, 2009 at 3:07 PM
But it’s not ridiculous to say the Broncos are a top 10 team after beating the Browns and Raiders after the fluke in Cincy?
September 29th, 2009 at 3:10 PM
It feels good to see the 49ers ranked that high even though its just three games into the season.
September 29th, 2009 at 3:17 PM
Never said they were Top-10. I’m just saying you can’t discount what they’ve done just because you don’t like who they’ve done it against.
September 29th, 2009 at 3:32 PM
Ah sorry that was the other Broncos guy
September 29th, 2009 at 3:34 PM
The Broncos remind me of the old Norman Chad line: 3-0 today, 8-8 tomorrow. As for the Ravens, they don’t need to prove anything against NE, they’re going to lose at some point what difference does it make if it’s NE this week or Min 2 weeks from now? As long as Flacco is healthy this is an elite team. Still not believing in the Jets. That’s still a 9-7 team.
September 29th, 2009 at 4:35 PM
Uh, no. They were leading 6-0 after 55 minutes.
I love how the Bears are better than Denver, you know, just because. Have fun with your diabetic interception machine.
September 29th, 2009 at 4:38 PM
Also, Redskins fan chalking up a win vs. Denver already: open a window when you paint, or it’ll get fume-y.
September 30th, 2009 at 4:48 PM
Anyone notice the hot blonde in that picture has a ring on her left finger? I’m guessing she’s not his wife…