jimmy-snukaIt’s Friday. That means we can talk about things such as 66-year old WWE legend Jimmy Snuka shopping a reality show. The first thing that came to mind upon learning of this was, how has Ric Flair not had his own show yet?

The burning question was quickly answered by the Camel Clutch blog:

Everyone from Ric Flair to Mick Foley has tried with little success to cross that line. “Superfly” Jimmy Snuka is the latest WWE Hall of Fame wrestler trying to give it a whirl.

Never heard anything about that one, but if Flair couldn’t get a show, it’s hard to imagine what wrestler would. The only thing that could possibly be interesting about Snuka’s show is him discussing, in haunting detail, what he did to Vince McMahon to inspire a script that had Roddy Piper smashing coconuts over his head and shoving bananas into his mouth.

But let’s forget about who’s shopping what — the real question is, which five ex-wrestlers or wrestling personalities should have a reality show?

The daunting challenge of course being, they have to be alive.

brutus-beefcake5. Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake — If it wasn’t for the fact that this man owns the hottest hair salon in Beverly Hills, he might, just might have time to film a reality TV show. Unfortunately, awards season has become a year-round thing. It’s a shame, really. If you didn’t shed a tear when he passed his hairdressing exam, you probably laughed at the end of Old Yeller. Heartless pricks.

bushwhackers4. The Bushwackers – Pretty sure Luke and Butch of the Bushwackers still have no idea they were ever in the WWF. They were George “The Animal” Steele with less teeth and better outfits. In 1994 they appeared on “Family Matters,” wrestling Carl Winslow and Steve Urkel. If they were good enough for TGIF on ABC, they’re absolutely good enough for SpikeTV.

3. Damien — Sure, Damien technically wasn’t really a wrestler, but he was certainly feared by everyone in wrestling. Yes, even the devious Mr. Fuji wouldn’t dare consider spitting his mysterious green mist in Damien’s presence. With good buddy Jake’s schedule jammed up with huffing computer cleaner, the pressure falls on Damien here to step up for the slippery tandem from Stone Mountain, Georgia. Having edgy instincts and the ability to be spontaneous is the key to any good reality show. Damien is an all-world beast when it comes to that. Below is gripping footage of him stepping out of the shadows, and off the script, to become the true star.

paul-bearer2. Paul Bearer — It would be impossible to deny Paul Bearer a reality show, a movie, a record contract or even a seat in the Senate after watching just 10 seconds of any of his performances in the squared circle. A gifted thespian with unrivaled passion for makeup and urns, it’s somewhat of a shock he’s not No. 1 on this list. The tricky part would be getting him out of his contract with the Knicks.

1. Ric Flair — Seriously, how has this not happened? The guy goes everywhere wearing one of his hand sewn, classily embroidered robes, and that should be enough right there by VH1 standards. But with Flair there’s always more. A simple visit to the grocery store for him is the equivalent of an amazing Saturday night for anyone else. Legend has it all the female cashiers and MILFs are topless before he’s even out of the fruit section, with shoppers happily trailing his cart and screaming “WHOOOO!” the whole way. It’s assumed wild orgys, or at the very least, group make out sessions, take place routinely inside the various tanning salons he visits throughout the day. Flair and reality have always been a no-brainer. It wouldn’t even require a meeting. Producers just need to see this video.