Gregg Doyel Tweaks the SEC, Ensures His Inbox Will Be Stuffed All Week
1-liner, College Football October 28th. 2009, 1:00pmSEC Football: “I can’t carry the water for a football conference that can’t carry its own jock … SEC football 2009 is not what it once was … SEC football 2009 has been living off its past all season, and the backlash is coming.” Doyel is right, of course. But on the whole, college football is down. The Big 12 has suffered a massive drop-off from last year. Few college football fans can name three players on Iowa, the best team in the Big 10. You know where this is headed … USC. “If not Texas, maybe Southern California. Yes, genius, I know. USC lost to Washington. But the Trojans lost that game without their most important player, quarterback Matt Barkley, and he’s back. If the goal of the BCS is to place the best two teams in the title game, well, USC with Matt Barkley deserves as much consideration as Florida or Alabama.” [CBS Sports]
127 Responses to “Gregg Doyel Tweaks the SEC, Ensures His Inbox Will Be Stuffed All Week”
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October 28th, 2009 at 1:04 PM
Here we go.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:05 PM
I would still argue, mainly based on Florida and Alabama, that the SEC is still #1, but the margin isn’t quite as wide this year.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:06 PM
And Here we go.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:07 PM
Few college football fans can name three players on Iowa, the best team in the Big 10
This has what to do with college’s football purported decline? I’ve enjoyed this season and see no reason for complaint.
And TBL, I’ll write the same challenge that I did awhile back when you asked if anyone could name three players on TCU: can you name 3 players on USC not named Aaron Corp or Matt Barkley? If you can, how many other college football fans also can?
October 28th, 2009 at 1:08 PM
Notre Dame is the only football program where you’ll find consistency year in and year out.
Now hit the music.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:08 PM
I love college football but I don’t think I could name 3 players on a lot of teams
October 28th, 2009 at 1:09 PM
taylor mays
/wanted him to come out because i wanted the texans to draft him
October 28th, 2009 at 1:09 PM
Gregg Doyel makes Jay Mariotti look like Albert Einstein. I can’t believe you linked this fucktard, and I hate the SEC.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:10 PM
I love college football but I don’t think I could name 3 players on a lot of teams
Hakeem, Kareem and Michael. There’s three from every team.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:10 PM
they’re not the best team in the big 10.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:11 PM
Oh, I remember those whimsical seasons – it’s not like last year when a team could lose at home and still get to the BCS title game. Or the year before, when a team could lose twice (twice!) and get to the BCS title game. Boo hoo hoo!
/Fuck the SEC
October 28th, 2009 at 1:11 PM
Anyone wanna bet me an SEC team doesn’t win the NC?
October 28th, 2009 at 1:12 PM
so it should be Southern Cal vs. Southern Cal? got it.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:15 PM
Barkley is the most important player on USC? Really? I highly doubt that.
And I agree the SEC is down this year. No doubt about it. That being said, yeah, all of college football is down. Or maybe it’s not “down,” but just more of a defense oriented game this year. A lot of great defenses out there this year. Or that the chicken before the egg?
October 28th, 2009 at 1:16 PM
I agree – but they’ve captured the luck/crappy football OSU played for years. Nothing is going wrong for them this year. It they win the Big 10 after winning at PSU, OSU, Wisky and MSU, they deserve it.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:18 PM
Alabama should play Oklahoma for the national championship.
/we all know they would have been unbeaten with Bradford
//here we go again–the writers playing God and ignoring the results
///Why do we have to get this same USC shit year after year after year?
October 28th, 2009 at 1:19 PM
Joe Mcknight >>>>>> Matt Barkley
USC defense >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> Matt Barkley
October 28th, 2009 at 1:20 PM
Here’s to a Cincy v TCU title game!
October 28th, 2009 at 1:21 PM
I think Iowa’s next four games shoudn’t count either. Their top rusher is out for the season.
/Doyel science’d
October 28th, 2009 at 1:21 PM
USC=CHARGERS. year after year we are force fed shit that they are the most talented but they dont ever win shit
October 28th, 2009 at 1:21 PM
I remember the year when a big 12 team played a SEC team for the championship. How did that go?
October 28th, 2009 at 1:23 PM
I’m not necessarily a USC fan, but to say they don’t win shit is a little disingenuous. They may crap the bad against a bad team every now and again, but they always get up for the big games.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:23 PM
Probably a more appropriate team would be the Colts
October 28th, 2009 at 1:24 PM
so what’s the penn state brand of football? unlucky, even craptastic-er?
and the usc defense sucks.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:24 PM
hmm there aren’t two standout teams who should play for the national championship. hmmmm how should we resolve this. a playoff? no absolutely not shut the fuck up.
/ncaa
on a side note will being alan from the hangover be a too obvious costume with tons of other people being the same thing?
October 28th, 2009 at 1:25 PM
You can spin all you want, but one of the two best teams in the nation doesn’t lose to a team that won ZERO games the year before, I don’t care how many players are out, or what position they play. That’s just out and out lazy. Watch the fucking games.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:25 PM
the colts are called the most talented team year in and out? don’t think so.
and that one ring means they HAVE won shit…unlike the chargers.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:26 PM
USC hasn’t played a “big game” since they lost to Texas.
/Rose Bowls and Big Ten teams don’t count
//neither does Notre Dame
October 28th, 2009 at 1:26 PM
Now THAT would be awesome! Huge fan of Brian Kelly. Won championship after championship at Grand Valley, came to Central Michigan and completely turned the program around (not to mention found my boy LeFevour), then goes to Cincy and after two seasons has the team in the top 10.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:27 PM
reazzy just get a set of fangs and slick back your hair. cost you a buck. bring some red food coloring, squirt in every one of your drinks. vampires are big this year
or, go as tebow, and scream at everyone with Philistines:3:12 on your face
October 28th, 2009 at 1:28 PM
fuck you jay.
i guess LSU’s latest championship is null and void since it came against a big 10 team.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:28 PM
Games against ranked teams aren’t big games? Really? Only bowl games or SEC ones?
October 28th, 2009 at 1:28 PM
How about comparing USC to the Braves?
/Fourteen seasons of excellence
//one championship
October 28th, 2009 at 1:29 PM
That’s a huge insult to the Braves
October 28th, 2009 at 1:29 PM
Hey now, watch it, pal.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:29 PM
money.
/still…go fuck yourself
October 28th, 2009 at 1:30 PM
2007 was shittastic. seems like 10 teams had to win 1 fucking game to get to the NC and they all lost
October 28th, 2009 at 1:30 PM
west-fucking-virginia had to beat pitt (if i remember correctly) and they would have gone but they lost
October 28th, 2009 at 1:31 PM
Yeah, if only they could achieve that magical 3 seasons of decent and zero championships the Indians had in the 90s.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:31 PM
spencer, it’s not personal. I’m talking more about Michigan. If USC would have played 2007, 2006, or 2002 Ohio State, it might have been different. But beating OSU before Pryor last year and beating this year’s team is so-so.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:31 PM
USC deserves consideration if it beats Oregon this weekend. If the Trojans lose then they’re outta the NC talks.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:32 PM
@reazzy, if you already have the beard, do it. I don’t think too many others will be that.
@vezina, I would definitely to the Tebow thing if I wasn’t going with a chick to the party/bar.
I’m choosing to go with the cheap and comfortable Clark Kent look. Superman t-shirt under half button’d white dress shirt, glasses, coat and jeans.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:32 PM
that was more than three seasons, and maybe if the piece of shit umpires didn’t give the braves a strike zone THREE MILES FUCKING WIDE while giving the tribe one that was the size of a cell phone, things might have been different.
fuck you.
fuck tom glavine.
fuck the braves.
choke on a dick.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:32 PM
What I was implying is that Iowa is getting the defensive/special teams turnovers/TDs or 4th quarter miracles to pull out games in the Big Ten – similar to Tressel-ball
October 28th, 2009 at 1:32 PM
sg, i covered a HS playoff game with Lefevour at QB. benet academy. they lost but you could see his poise and that he was a standout athlete in the way that D-1 recruits stand out from even the best of the kids that go D-2 or D-3
October 28th, 2009 at 1:33 PM
This.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:33 PM
i remember him being on my tv a lot before the strike so yeah fuck him
October 28th, 2009 at 1:34 PM
agreed.
/weeps into scarlet and gray hankie
October 28th, 2009 at 1:34 PM
Barkley is the most important player on USC? Really? I highly doubt that.
Not sure if this is in response to my earlier comment, but I don’t think Barkley is the most important player, I challenged TBL to mention 3 players on USC not named Barkley or Corp simply because those have had the most media exposure since the summer and so would not be much of a challenge.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:34 PM
Games against ranked teams aren’t big games?
considering the joke the rankings are half the time, not always
October 28th, 2009 at 1:35 PM
I had the choice between the Oregon/Cal game and the Oregon/USC game for my trip out to Portland. Wish I had enough money to do both. Love Autzen stadium. That place is going to be INSANE on Saturday!
October 28th, 2009 at 1:35 PM
If Oregon beats USC, I want to see Doyel and all of his fellow bottom-feeders take up their cause to play in the national championship game.
/it won’t happen
//this is about USC, rage, and eyeballs
October 28th, 2009 at 1:35 PM
I was about to say something negative about USC only getting up for HOME bowl games, but I then remembered where tLSU’s nat’l championships where won. I’ll be quiet.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:36 PM
haha a lot of smart ass comments
October 28th, 2009 at 1:37 PM
Colts are considered one of the best teams year in and out, how many 12+ win seasons is are they working on now yet only one SuperBowl, and USC has won at least 1 BCS championship this decade so I think Colts are a pretty good anology to USC.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:37 PM
I would definitely to the Tebow thing if I wasn’t going with a chick to the party/bar.
not sure why that would stop you, unless the implication is that he dates guys. but i thought of another prop–a bloody scalpel
October 28th, 2009 at 1:37 PM
/correcter
October 28th, 2009 at 1:39 PM
I would love for him to have a shot at the NFL. It would make me so proud!
October 28th, 2009 at 1:41 PM
I would love for him to have a shot at the NFL. It would make me so proud!
If Cade McNown or (insert many a bust) can get a shot in the NFL, LeFevour should
October 28th, 2009 at 1:41 PM
ugh…OSU would wax cincy by two scores at least.
well fine. be that way.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:41 PM
not sure why that would stop you, unless the implication is that he dates guys.
I would take the character to the extreme, which would eventually lead to a fight. I don’t want her to see that side of me, yet.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:42 PM
I missed me some Clown.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:42 PM
Lost the title game in 2000 though
October 28th, 2009 at 1:43 PM
I would take the character to the extreme, which would eventually lead to a fight. I don’t want her to see that side of me, yet.
save that for snuggly one-on-one time
October 28th, 2009 at 1:46 PM
don’t have the beard. would have to go store bought, not sure how much that would run me. i also would have to grab one of those front baby holders. no idea how much they are either. i have everything else though
October 28th, 2009 at 1:48 PM
Spencer, I know you’re not really this dumb in real life. OSU sucks this year. Get over it.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:48 PM
i also would have to grab one of those front baby holders. no idea how much they are either.
60 bucks or so.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:48 PM
save that for snuggly one-on-one time
She’s brazilian, snuggly time doesn’t exist. And I know for a fact she has no fucking clue who Tebow is.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:50 PM
And I know for a fact she has no fucking clue who Tebow is.
i meant the violent side. as for store-bought beards, just get some yarn and some tape. i did this once when me and a couple buddies did zz top for a lip-sync competition. we won with Tush, waxing the Madonnas and Princes
October 28th, 2009 at 1:51 PM
i have everything else though
So you have the slightly heavy set white guy with shaggy hair look, a pair of corduroys, and a light blue t-shirt? You could always just buy a bowling shirt and go as the Dude, or Walter.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:52 PM
She’s brazilian, snuggly time doesn’t exist
i wouldn’t leave the house then until she submitted to snuggling after the boots-knockin’
/while i knock the boots from here to michigan, i’m caught up
//many points to whoever names the above artist
October 28th, 2009 at 1:53 PM
So I guess that means snuggly time has been replaced with anal?
October 28th, 2009 at 1:53 PM
they do suck…yet they’d still wax cincy by two scores.
October 28th, 2009 at 1:54 PM
Btw…this board was SO SO right about Brazilian woman being crazy, been chilling with this Brazilian girl and her friends the last couple of weeks, yea… definitely fit under “if they weren’t so hot” scale
October 28th, 2009 at 1:54 PM
So I guess that means snuggly time has been replaced with anal?
big asses don’t necessarily give passes
/not bad for off the top of my head
October 28th, 2009 at 1:55 PM
So I guess that means snuggly time has been replaced with anal?
Ha… Unfortunately, no.
October 28th, 2009 at 2:00 PM
Oregon is going to beat USC this weekend.
/Book it
October 28th, 2009 at 2:00 PM
That’s why the Mendoza diagonal was created.
October 28th, 2009 at 2:02 PM
Mendoza diagonal
butt caliper-ish?
October 28th, 2009 at 2:02 PM
I don’t understand why guys would EVER be into anal. Maybe it’s because you’re all depraved, disgusting creatures.
October 28th, 2009 at 2:02 PM
wildcat, i don;t think anyone here would be surprised at a ducks win
October 28th, 2009 at 2:04 PM
I don’t understand why guys would EVER be into anal. Maybe it’s because you’re all depraved, disgusting creatures.
are you panting? pants around ankles?
/for the record, i can take anal or leave it, but am a big fan if it is requested
October 28th, 2009 at 2:04 PM
Nice, lefty. I hadn’t heard that before.
/doesn’t watch many tv shows
October 28th, 2009 at 2:04 PM
So you have the slightly heavy set white guy with shaggy hair look, a pair of corduroys, and a light blue t-shirt? You could always just buy a bowling shirt and go as the Dude, or Walter.
October 28th, 2009 at 2:04 PM
i can take anal
senyor homo!
October 28th, 2009 at 2:05 PM
Prudie McLikesitgentle in the house!
October 28th, 2009 at 2:07 PM
Maybe it’s because you’re all depraved, disgusting creatures.
That we are, but at least we have a grasp on reality.
October 28th, 2009 at 2:08 PM
yeah dirt, he teed that one up
October 28th, 2009 at 2:08 PM
Prudie McLikesitgentle in the house!
Awesome.
October 28th, 2009 at 2:11 PM
Well if more ladies did their kegels this wouldn’t be an issue
October 28th, 2009 at 2:11 PM
It’s a hole. Really, that’s all we need.
October 28th, 2009 at 2:11 PM
I’m impressed that Veznia quoted a Candyman song.
October 28th, 2009 at 2:12 PM
Here’s your explanation.
October 28th, 2009 at 2:15 PM
Best explanation I’ve heard.
October 28th, 2009 at 2:16 PM
i can take anal
senyor homo!
Dirt, you contexted me in a classic way.
/didn;t see it coming
//you opportunist
October 28th, 2009 at 2:16 PM
winner
October 28th, 2009 at 2:17 PM
sportsgal, you’re the one that brought up anal?
+1
October 28th, 2009 at 2:18 PM
One of my friends once got asked this question and he gave a 30 min dissertation on Manifest Destiny and charting new territories
/to this day one of the most intellectually stimulating and disturbing conversations I’ve ever heard.
October 28th, 2009 at 2:20 PM
hawkeye, you referring to the knocking boots lyric? if so, you’re wrong
1,2,3…Chubb Rock
//am hoping he was never nicknamed the Candyman
October 28th, 2009 at 2:22 PM
fellas, here’s the horseshoe i keep in the pocket–my wife had a kid in her 1st marriage and three with me, and all by c-section!
/who’s doing the high-school punani?
//i am
October 28th, 2009 at 2:24 PM
Thanks Lefty. there should be a simlar one for face/body, called the Mariah Diagonal
October 28th, 2009 at 2:26 PM
Damn, I miss that one Vez.
“1990 Chubb Rock jumps upon the scene. With a lean and a pocket full of green ”
didn’t like his style, really.
October 28th, 2009 at 2:31 PM
looks like TBL after dark is getting started early.
October 28th, 2009 at 2:31 PM
Heavy D > Chubb Rock
/this overweight lover would know
October 28th, 2009 at 2:33 PM
mak, when i was a babe in the mutha fuckin woods, the late 80s, a buddy at the college paper made me a mix tape of contemporary hip-hop. one of my favorite collections–money love, big daddy kane, kool moe dee, queen latifah, chubb rock, afrikaa bambata, de la soul (miss crabtree, i know that you;re not mad at me), and a few more i can’t think of right now, oh slick rick (treat her like a prostitute), KRS-1, q-tip, some guy who sang “would you join the navy if you didn’t like the gravy and rice–think about it”
October 28th, 2009 at 2:35 PM
clown i defer to your knowledge. i only know one song of each, and i would take the chubb rock song
//and just grab ‘em in the biscuits over both
October 28th, 2009 at 2:35 PM
Fuck my stupid appendix surgery. Good thread. The sec is down, but what conference is up? Also, USC lost to Washington. Why isn’t Doyel pimping LSU for a title?
October 28th, 2009 at 2:37 PM
Cuurently drinking juice, eating broth and watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Forgot how hot Swanson was.
October 28th, 2009 at 2:37 PM
my favorite rap line ever was by phife dog.
“I’m all that and then some/short, dark and handsome/ I’ll bust a nut inside your eye, to show you where I come from.”
October 28th, 2009 at 2:37 PM
and bow down to Camp Lo.
Gods, what was that pain like, if it was an emergency appendectomy? still have mine and my tonsils
October 28th, 2009 at 2:40 PM
Fuck my stupid appendix surgery.
Gods: you just have it or getting ready to have it?
October 28th, 2009 at 2:40 PM
the SEC might be down but it still gets more comments than “Ballin!”. Take that, Irish!
October 28th, 2009 at 2:42 PM
How a cypher should be done. Great song.
October 28th, 2009 at 2:43 PM
Had it at 7:30 this morning. It was caught early, so it had not yet ruptured. I just have to stay overnight, drink clear liquids and eat broth. Oh, and my stomach hurts like hell. At least the NBA is on tonight so I have something to watch.
October 28th, 2009 at 2:43 PM
if i gave it more thought, mak, i might come up with different, but for now, one of my faves is
not bushwick bill, but i can take it to that other level
October 28th, 2009 at 2:44 PM
Fuck my stupid appendix surgery.
good luck dude. My silly mother ( who was scared of the insurance hit) tried to tough out abdominal pain last year, and her appendix ruptured. She ended up hospitalized for a month, and nearly dying.
October 28th, 2009 at 2:45 PM
digital underground was the shit. I was actually dumb enough to think humpty was a different person than Shock G. if it wasn’t for the Arsenio Hall show, I would have prolly never known.
/kids are dumb
October 28th, 2009 at 2:47 PM
Good luck gods. I’ll drink a beer tonight for ya.
October 28th, 2009 at 2:47 PM
My favorite lines (careful, it cuts deep):
October 28th, 2009 at 2:49 PM
good luck dude. My silly mother ( who was scared of the insurance hit) tried to tough out abdominal pain last year, and her appendix ruptured. She ended up hospitalized for a month, and nearly dying.
mine did die last summer (not the insurance hit, the “I’ll be fine” bit). that’s why I didn’t respond earlier. I didn’t wanna get you worried about it
/got my surgery tomorrow
October 28th, 2009 at 2:52 PM
JPQ, yours is really more of a flaying than a surgery.
too bad about your mom, though. That’s got to be an awful way to go.
October 28th, 2009 at 2:52 PM
I’ve heard a ruptured appendix hurts like a mother fucker.
October 28th, 2009 at 2:53 PM
What are you going in for, Jpq?
October 28th, 2009 at 2:55 PM
WAC and MWC.
/not really
//they make me want to puke
October 28th, 2009 at 2:56 PM
JPQ, yours is really more of a flaying than a surgery.
too bad about your mom, though. That’s got to be an awful way to go.
true, one is more like a deli slicer, although the other is like digging for an oil well-lol
Gods: yeah, too long and painful a story to go into, but, suffice to say, glad you got it in time and are on your way to recovery. Get well soon
October 28th, 2009 at 2:57 PM
What are you going in for, Jpq?
I got a couple malignant melanomas on my back and shoulder they’ve gotta cut out. They said they got it way early, so should be no big deal.
October 28th, 2009 at 3:09 PM
I got a couple malignant melanomas on my back and shoulder
Cancer? That’s hilarious!
/jerri blank’d
//safe because you said it’s no big deal, yes?