Unfortunately for Alex Gerrard, her husband Steven’s groin may be out of commission for a few more weeks.

Contenders No More: Arsenal did what they should have, beating arch-rival Tottenham 3-0 at home.  Spurs played well most of the first half, but Arsenal’s rapid-fire deuce right before halftime felled them.  It was not necessarily sexy football, but it was certainly Cescy.  Missing Modric, Lennon and Defoe, Tottenham’s depleted squad had neither the pace nor the creativity to come back.  Spurs have won just two of their last eight and have been outscored 9-1 by Arsenal, Man U and Chelsea.  Eight points back their title pretensions are over.

Crisis Resumed: Fulham beat Liverpool 3-1, the Reds’ sixth defeat in their last seven matches.  Liverpool’s thin squad depends on Torres and Gerrard for invention.  Torres can’t play a full 90 minutes and Gerrard may need groin surgery.  Rafa Benitez won’t be fired, but only because the American owners can’t afford to pay him.  Liverpool’s goals are now financial ones, qualifying for the knockout stage and qualifying for next season’s Champions League.  Failure to do either could be disastrous for the fiscally strained club.

Looking Familiar: The not particularly impressive Inter Milan beat Livorno 2-0 to take a seven-point lead at the top, with Juventus losing 3-2 to Napoli and Sampdoria drawing 0-0 with Bari.  Antonio Cassano’s contentment was too fragile to last.  He would be the perfect addition for AC Milan who, quietly, have crept back into the fourth Champions League place.

Complacency: Barcelona dropped two points, gifting Osasuna a 1-1 draw with a late own-goal.  Real Madrid rebounded from a pitiful 4-0 loss to Alcoron – who play in the same lower division as their youth team – to beat Getafe 2-0, perhaps saving coach Manuel Pellegrini’s job.  They are now one-point behind Barca.  The two have outscored opponents 47-11 this season.  Villarreal dumped five on Tenerife, returning to the land of the living.

Playoffs: The MLS playoffs started this weekend.  The Galaxy drew city rivals Chivas USA 2-2 in the first leg of their conference semifinal.  New England beat Chicago 2-1 in front of a ludicrously small crowd in theirs.  Real Salt Lake beat Columbus 1-0.  Seattle drew 0-0 with Houston.  They could just say first round, but “Conference Semifinal” gives it that much more gravitas.  Mexican star Blanco, one of league’s most marketable players, announced he will leave MLS to return to Mexican club Veracruz in January.

New Mexican: The United States has called up New Mexican-native Edgar Castillo for it’s European friendly matches later this fall.  The 23-year-old, having only played for Mexico in friendlies, was permitted to switch national teams.  He’s a left-defender who can also play in midfield.  He should challenge Jonathan Bornstein for a 2010 place.

Baby Daddy: Man U and England striker Wayne Rooney’s son Kai was born today.  The name Kai means “to rejoice” in Latin.  More importantly, it ensures the kid’s nickname will be “Cobra.”

Classy: Wigan striker Marlon King will be appearing exclusively for the prison XI.  The 29-year-old Jamaican was sentenced to 18 months in jail last week for assault causing actual bodily harm.  He made a lewd advance on a 20-year-old girl in a bar.  When she rebuffed him, he punched her in the face, breaking her nose.  Not surprisingly, Wigan have given him his 40 days notice.

Inflamed Sheep: A 24-year-old Aberdeen fan suffered serious burns after his sheep costume caught fire on the train ride home from Edinburgh on Saturday.  The cause was believed to be cigarette ash.  He ran through the train as fellow fans tried to douse it with beer, which was not too bright.

Goal of the Week: Cesc Fabregas vs. Tottenham