It’s November, which means movie theaters are about to be inundated with Oscar bait. No more explosions, no more sweaty teenage cleavage, no more robots. Instead, we get actors chewing scenery in the hopes of earning the respect and admiration of their peers (and a gold statue, too), directors pursuing critical kudos and movie studios spending millions on advertising campaigns. It’s one big, glossy clusterf$*k and often difficult to navigate. So here’s a short guide to the movies you’ll need to familiarize yourself with before Steve and Al hit the Kodak (so awesome, BTW) in 2010:

The Ones Yet to Open Wide:

Invictus: Clint Eastwood. Morgan Freeman. We know what happens when these two get together – Oscars rain down, some deserved (Unforgiven), some unforgivable (Million Dollar Maudlin). With Freeman starring as Nelson Mandela, and Matt Damon alongside as the captain of the South African rugby team, this sucker is a shoe-in for the now-expanded Best Picture field. Where it goes from there depends on the marketing and the Academy’s possibly-waning fondness for Eastwood. He missed last year with Gran Torino; whether that was because it was a rudderless cliche-machine or they were suffering from Josey Wales burnout remains a mystery.

Precious: An obese (no Steve Phillips jokes, please), illiterate teenager, twice knocked up by her father and constantly beaten by her mother, learns life doesn’t have to suck so much. At least that’s what people tell me this is about. Oh, and Mariah Carey’s in it. That was quite the dismissive little synopsis, wasn’t it? To spite me, this bastard’s winning six Oscars, I just know it.

the-road-book-coverThe Road: Delayed for more than a year, this adaptation of the Pulitizer-winning Cormac McCarthy novel – set amid the ruins of a post-apocalyptic dystopia (it was filmed in Pittsburgh) – has been plagued by bad buzz and who knows how many different cuts now exist. The studio recently released a more upbeat trailer, in which acting lion Robert Duvall’s presence is neatly tacked on at the end. Note to viewers: If you’re seeing this solely for Charlize Theron, prepare to be disappointed. [Ed. Stoked for this.]

Up in the Air: From the director of the sublime Thank You For Smoking (“The great state of Vermont will not apologize for its cheese!”) and the much-acclaimed, then much-derided Juno comes this Billy Wilder/Cameron Crowe mashup about an attachment-phobic corporate hatchet man (George Clooney) obsessed with gaining entry into an exclusive frequent-flier miles hall of fame. Yeah, I know how it sounds, but check out this Internet-exclusive teaser made by Jason Reitman. Now remember how crazy people went over Jerry Maguire. Anything less than $120 million domestic and seven nominations would shock me.

An Education: This intricate, Nick Hornby-penned tale of a big-dreaming London teenager both seduced and awakened by a music-loving older man has been playing in select cities for about a month. If you haven’t seen it yet, hey you, make haste, because star Carey Mulligan is winning Best Actress next spring. Book it. And because she’s a non-teenager playing a teenager you don’t have to feel dirty (unlike, say, with a certain Wizards of Waverly Place star).

Nine: Daniel Day-Lewis – in a musical? Considering the guy can play anything and Oscar loves him (they did give him Best Actor for essentially playing Bill the Butcher twice, after all), I’ll buy that this Rob Marshall update of the 1982 Broadway musical is going to be a major Academy Awards entrant this year. If nothing else look at that cast. Now look at this still of Penelope Cruz taken from the movie. Yeah.

Avatar: The King of the Blowhards is back, with his first live-action opus since snaring Best Picture and Best Director (among numerous other awards) for 1997’s Titanic. Nevermind that Andrew Niccol’s Gattaca was the real best picture of that year, Titanic was an amazing spectacle sprinkled with good performances despite Cameron’s crippling dialogue. Can Cameron top it? He’s an ass, but never doubt the man behind The Terminator, Aliens, The Abyss, T2 and Aquaman.

lovely-bones-book-coverThe Lovely Bones: Wait, the Lord of the Rings guy is adapting a book about a murdered child watching over her family from the afterlife? No, the Heavenly Creatures guy is, and I for one can’t wait to see how he tackles Alice Sebold’s novel, even if recasting Ryan Gosling with Mark Wahlberg is a major downgrade. [Ed. Looks terrific.]

A Serious Man: The Coen Bros. are back on Oscar’s radar after slumming it in last year’s goofy, disconnected Burn After Reading with this semi-autobiographical tale of a burnt-out, underappreciated Midwestern physics professor slowly losing control (it’s supposedly based on the Coens’ Minnesota upbringing, with their father the inspiration for Michael Stulbarg’s main character). And if its raptorous reviews are any indication, this black dramedy is even darker than their Best Picture-winning No Country for Old Men. Still, they have yet to top Miller’s Crossing.

The Ones Who’ve Come and Gone (more or less):

The Hurt Locker: From the director of Blue Steel and Point Break comes the best movie of the year (that I’ve seen). Jeremy Renner probably won’t get a Best Actor nod for his performance as a volatile Army IED specialist, but it’s not because he isn’t amazing in this. Multiple nominations await this near-masterpiece.

Bright Star: Doomed love, it’s been big since Bill Shakespeare. This retelling of the short but inspired 19th-century romance between squalor-stricken poet John Keats and Fanny Brawne has art house written all over it, probably not so much Oscar, except for leading lady (and possible homewrecker) Abby Cornish.

District 9: Back in September, movie pundits were touting this Neil Blomkamp sci-fi social commentary as possible Oscar material. As usually happens with anything but stolid dramas, that talk has all but disappeared now. [Ed. Had never seen a trailer for this movie; looks rad.]

Star Trek: With the larger Best Picture field, you’d think the best pure entertainment of the year would be a lock, right? I don’t hear too many people tossing J.J. Abrams’ franchise reboot around in Oscar discussions, which is a shame.

Up: Has there ever been a more affecting opening to a movie? Not that I can recall. One of Pixar’s best yet, falling just short of the rarified Toy Story, Ratatouille territory. Probably doesn’t stand a chance at actually winning Best Picture, but it’s a lock to make the final 10.

Where the Wild Things Are: Too odd for the Academy? They’ve showered Spike Jonze’s oddities (Being John Malkovich, Adaptation) before.

Inglorious Basterds: Christoph Walz has to be the early favorite for Best Supporting Actor, and a screenplay nomination may be tossed Tarantino’s way, but this one might be too self-indulgent even for an awards body built on it.