NFL Pigskin Pigsplosion Preview Week 14
NFL, Pigskin Pigsplosion December 11th. 2009, 2:00pm
I like this time of year. I know, I’m a little out there. Christmas/holiday episodes of shows are always fun, right? The only problem is that they don’t really fit with the arch of a show. Plots are set aside and we’re stuck with colorful episodes of our favorite shows that you’re not really going to watch in June. Talk about your double-edged sword.
Jersey Shore was strong again last night. The highlight of the episode (Besides Next On – I never want Snookie to stop being punched) was Snickers in the hot tub telling The Situation – and I quote - “F** my f****** a****** right now.” If television can reach a peak higher than that, I’m not sure I could handle it.
Tiger Woods.
/obligatory
Pigsplosion
This was just uploaded yesterday. If you want to blow up a pig, put it on YouTube and send me a link. I think that a reader actually blowing up a pig specifically for this post would make my year. There’s got to be a few of you out there who have nothing better to do.
Fraud
Someone who wasn’t good in a loss. Probably your mom.
Game Manager
Did Roethisberger win? No? I guess he should have been the guy named in the previous thing.
Hot Chick
Alison Brie might be the most adorable person to ever live.
Movie Time – Full post coming later!
Pick’emsplosion
Last Week: 5-11 (Yikes)
Overall: 91 – 101
CLEVELAND (+9.5) over Pittsburgh
I totally picked this. I forgot to drop it in the comments though. You believe me, right? Right? I’m sure you can look up my previous thoughts on the Steelers. Surely that is proof enough that I would pick the Browns as 10 point dogs at home. Right? (Seriously though, I pick the Browns.)
New Orleans (No Line) over ATLANTA
If you ignore the Cowboys (just like your brother pretends to do) then this is the Saints last chance to lose int he regular season.
HOUSTON (-5.5) over Seattle
/doesn’t give a shit
//seriously
///both teams are alive, yet have no shot
JACKSONVILLE (-2.5) over Miami
A battle for Florida or something like that. Two playoff teams that have no chance at the Super Bowl. So cute. Its like Texans-Seahawks but a bit more important. (Not really.)
CINCINNATI (+6.5) over Minnesota
Does anyone like Favre more than they like Palmer? Anyone?
Carolina (+13.5) over NEW ENGLAND
Hey Beantown!
TAMPA BAY (No Line) over nyj
Sanchise is not a proper noun. (I wrote that on Tuesday afternoon when I was complete sober and I have no idea what the fuck it means.)
KANSAS CITY (-1.5) over Buffalo
Most promising game of the week. I’m not sure what that means.
INDIANAPOLIS (-7.5) over Denver
This is the part where I say you never bet against Peyton Manning blah, blah, blah. I don’t want to beat a dead horse though. Seriously.
Detroit (+13.5) over BALTIMORE
Flacco sucks.
Green Bay (-3.5) over CHICAGO
Ever since Favre left, I’ve been an unabashed Packers rooter. Not quite a “fan,” but definitely a rooter. If no one ever spoke of Brett Favre, I guess I wouldn’t have any feelings about Green Bay. I guess my point is that the MSM kind of sucks the life out of everything.
TENNESSEE (-13.5) over St. Louis
The Titans lost their first 16 games this year (estimate) and yet they’re still nearly a two touchdown favorite.
OAKLAND (+1.5) over Washington
There was a time long ago when these franchises were super important. Don’t worry, I’m too young to remember that too.
San Diego (+3.5) over DALLAS
Good game between overrated/underrated quarterbacks who no one respects/hates enough. For whatever reason (I blame “Cap Rooney”) I like Phil Rivers and dislike Tony Romo.
NYG (-1.5) over Philadelphia
The number of douchebags that have a rooting interest in this game is very high. Its well into the millions.
Arizona (-3.5) over SAN FRANCISCO
If time travel ever becomes a reality, then we’ll be able to avoid Monday Night Football games like this in the future. (or past!?)
116 Responses to “NFL Pigskin Pigsplosion Preview Week 14”
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December 11th, 2009 at 2:05 PM
Why is there no line in the Saints/Falcs game?? No, no, no, I don’t like this at all…
December 11th, 2009 at 2:06 PM
Ryan, Turner both questionable, I would imagine.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:06 PM
Pigsplosion! Fuck yeah.
Mak, Vegas probably isn’t sure yet if Matty Ice is going to play. If they put up a line like he’s not it would be 14 points.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:06 PM
Fetch.
/spontaneous combustion
LOCK.
/Lovie actually has a winning record against the Packers
//only promise he kept when he got hired
December 11th, 2009 at 2:07 PM
BROWNS on the ML. it’s a lock…
/sorry, i’m done
//last night was awesome.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:08 PM
I tend to judge QB’s by whether or not they scare me when they’re facing my favorite team. Rivers scares me more than any opposing QB in the league. With Romo I don’t get the slightest twinge of shrivel downstairs.
/Inexact science
December 11th, 2009 at 2:08 PM
The last time I watched a Titans game, they were losing to the Rams in the Superbowl. I hope that’s not an omen, as they were my survivor pool pick this week.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:09 PM
can’t believe im starting Rivers vs. the Dallas defense.
Also took a few chances on the Tenn defense at home vs. STL
December 11th, 2009 at 2:09 PM
that title still belongs to Kirsten Bell
December 11th, 2009 at 2:10 PM
Current lines
NO -10.5
NY Jets -3
December 11th, 2009 at 2:10 PM
But they were on PRIMETIME TV at least TWICE this year!!!111!!1!111eleventy!!one
/throws tantrum
December 11th, 2009 at 2:11 PM
nice post, not enough ’splosion though.
pete campbell’s wife is damn hot.
hope the movie post is good, got a slow afternoon at work coming up.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:12 PM
I dislike Rivers because he became a raging asshole the second he made it to the NFL. He was a pretty nice guy in college.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:13 PM
The last time I watched a Titans game, they were losing to the Rams in the Superbowl.
No Titans / Colts last year, when the Titans were undefeated? Also, you didn’t watch the NFL’s season opening Thursday night game this year? It was the very first NFL game of the year, and it was on when no other games were on.
Something to consider doing – watching a Titans game.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:14 PM
My lord if the Browns don’t pay Cribbs…..
December 11th, 2009 at 2:14 PM
That’s because all he did in college was win bowl games and f*** his wife’s f****** a**!
/He had like nine kids, right?
December 11th, 2009 at 2:15 PM
that’s better.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:15 PM
Brian Kelly currently preaching like Morgan Freeman in Lean On Me.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:16 PM
I agree with this… But, now everyone bet the opposite because “LOCKS” on this blog can turn gold into dogshit.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:16 PM
Pigsplosion! Fuck yeah.
I have a feeling by this time next year all the kids will be into making pigs go sploding and it will one of those 15 minute national nightmares about our what is wrong with our youth.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:16 PM
Alison Brie might be the most adorable person to ever live.
/fixed
//I just killed her
December 11th, 2009 at 2:17 PM
SC – Care to explain this?
December 11th, 2009 at 2:17 PM
I’ll just go ahead and give myself a big ole FAIL for that one….
December 11th, 2009 at 2:18 PM
and do i really need to check out this Jersey Shore show??
December 11th, 2009 at 2:20 PM
and do i really need to check out this Jersey Shore show??
you need to watch the first two episodes, and then try not to dream about those people while you’re waiting one day to watch the third.
It’s world view changing.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:20 PM
he wasn’t just f****** her a** if he has 9 kids
December 11th, 2009 at 2:22 PM
thx, Dirt, will do.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:22 PM
The references are probably going to be flying fast and furious for the next couple months. This is the biggest thing to hit the Internet since Erin Andrews’s hoo-ha.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:22 PM
Si.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:22 PM
Is he using a bullhorn?
December 11th, 2009 at 2:22 PM
Go Chiefs. i want a high draft pick
December 11th, 2009 at 2:23 PM
@lefty- Yeah, I saw it on Deadspin this morning. Contrary to popular belief, the University of Iowa does not only admit genius caliber students. There are still the occasional morons that escape their admissions process.
I’ll just try and distract everyone with this. (it’s HILARIOUS)
December 11th, 2009 at 2:24 PM
yes, in the nfl or a wrangler pickup game
December 11th, 2009 at 2:24 PM
haha SC where did you find that
December 11th, 2009 at 2:24 PM
why can’t you believe it? Dallas’ pass defense isn’t good.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:25 PM
Tom Brady irons his clothes, just like us!
December 11th, 2009 at 2:27 PM
I finally finished the list of championships by conference in football and basketball only. Lots of work.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:27 PM
Someone on my Facebook posted it this morning. I have a lot of unemployed/graduate student friends.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:28 PM
Just collapsed.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:32 PM
well he was looking for gay porn and boom, free tv popped up
December 11th, 2009 at 2:32 PM
WARNING:I may post the list twice. Because, you know, I worked hard on it… Sorry for whomever it offends.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:32 PM
Sooooooo Dreamy.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:32 PM
Holy shit, this is hilarious, I can’t believe TBL hasn’t jumped all over this yet, it’s right in his wheelhouse:
December 11th, 2009 at 2:33 PM
SC: That shit is hilarious.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:34 PM
Tom Brady irons his clothes, just like us!
Just collapsed.
I said on here 1000 times that guy jumped the shark the day he laughed at the pre SB presser when he was told Antonio Pearce said they wouldn’t score more than 17. They wiped that shit-eating grin off his face, and he and the Pats haven’t been the same since
December 11th, 2009 at 2:34 PM
Yes
December 11th, 2009 at 2:35 PM
it was funny until jay and his buddies took it outside and started blasting holes in the mothafucka and doing their best lawrence taylor impression.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:36 PM
Does the wife tell you what to wear? “I think any man who lets a woman pick what he should wear… I mean, you gotta draw the line somewhere as a man. I see these guys, ‘My wife told me to wear this!’ And I just shake my head.”
on that part he’s right. I have heard Tiki say numerous times that his wife picks out everything he wears. She worked at Lauren, Zegna, CalvinKlein, something like that
December 11th, 2009 at 2:36 PM
Pleated pants remind me of George Costanza.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:37 PM
ACC- 11 Basketball, 5 Football, 16 total
Big 12- 7 Basketball, 17 Football, 24 total
Big 10- 10 Basketball, 10 Football, 20 total
Big East- 10 Basketball, 2 Football
Pac 10- 16 Basketball, 9 Football, 25 total
SEC-10 Basketball, 23 Football, 33 total
December 11th, 2009 at 2:39 PM
2010 will be the year of the vest, take that hats, you’re soooo 2009.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:39 PM
ACC- 11 Basketball, 5 Football, 16 total
Big 12- 7 Basketball, 17 Football, 24 total
Big 10- 10 Basketball, 10 Football, 20 total
Big East- 10 Basketball, 2 Football, 12 total
Pac 10- 16 Basketball, 9 Football, 25 total
SEC-10 Basketball, 23 Football, 33 total
/sorry, that really bugged me
December 11th, 2009 at 2:40 PM
But the Big Ten has over 35 wrestling titles!
/no one cares except me
December 11th, 2009 at 2:42 PM
But the Big Ten has over 35 wrestling titles!
/no one cares except me
Where were you when I got smacked down for counting all NCAA championships? These guys only wanted to count sports that make money.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:42 PM
Iowa State > Iowa.
In all seriousness tho, you familiar with Harry Lester?
December 11th, 2009 at 2:42 PM
Lots of work? I guess your definition of lots is different than mine.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:43 PM
WWE Hall of Famers by primary promotion
WWF – 27
NWA/WCW – 20
World Class – 8
AWA – 6
Mid-South/USWA – 3
Florida – 2
IWGP – 1
Stampede – 2
UWF – 1
December 11th, 2009 at 2:43 PM
PLSK- Is he the guy that never lost a match during his career? I know ISU had some gorilla like that in the recent past.
Dan Gable though, man. C’mon now. And Minnesota might be better than all of ‘em. Bunch of hogmollies in that state.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:44 PM
I do. And Stabbin I’ll allow you to correct your statement. Absurd.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:44 PM
So basically, if you take away all of Wooden’s ill gotten titles, the Pac 10 sucks.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:44 PM
Cael Sanderson
December 11th, 2009 at 2:44 PM
Not count, but care. I don’t care about sports that aren’t football and basketball when it comes to college supremacy. I don’t think that I am alone.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:44 PM
my vote
December 11th, 2009 at 2:44 PM
Oh, WWC – 1
December 11th, 2009 at 2:44 PM
Lots of work? I guess your definition of lots is different than mine.
It probably isnt different at all. Figure of speech. Dad.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:45 PM
Cael Sanderson went undefeated at ISU SC.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:45 PM
Agreed.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:46 PM
I’ll take late nineties Alyson Hannigan in the cute off with any era Kirsten Bell. Alexis Beidel would also be competitive.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:47 PM
I mark the knee injury as the Pats never being the same, but that’s just me. They never got another shot with that team intact and now the defense barely has anyone from their Super Bowl runs.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:47 PM
I think Hayden belongs in your cute discussion. Just because she’s only like 4′11″.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:48 PM
Yup, black kid, fuckin stud. He’s up in Northern Michigan training for the Olympics right now. He was a local kid from the area. He was at Iowa State for a while.
/wasn’t serious at all about the ISU > Iowa
//Gable’s a wrestling God
December 11th, 2009 at 2:48 PM
What the hell is a that?
December 11th, 2009 at 2:48 PM
Hayden isn’t cute though. I don’t want to protect Hayden from the big bad world with my cock at all.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:48 PM
So basically, if you take away all of Wooden’s ill gotten titles, the Pac 10 sucks.
Find one successfull collegiate program without an overzealous booster, and i’ll show you a LIE! It was 1 booster! Wooden didn’t have anything to do with it, and he had no effect on recruiting.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:48 PM
My friend told me he wanted to “pick-up fuck” her. When I told him (27) that she was 16 at the time, he did not take it back.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:49 PM
Probably not old enough to be your Dad but sorry I did not realize that your saying you did lots of work to compile a list from a another group of lists was a “figure of speech”.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:49 PM
I was just trying to get a reaction out of SC, Bulldog. It was probably the most absurd comment made on this blog if i was serious.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:50 PM
Lee Corso-ism for massive human being.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:51 PM
There weren’t always lists. I had to go school to school a couple times and I kept clicking the referance sites for wikipedia. Pain in the ass woulda been better than hard work, I guess. Not as literal.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:52 PM
/Link?
//racist
December 11th, 2009 at 2:52 PM
Beidel>Hannigan, but Bell>both.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:52 PM
You know… I’m all right with fucking 16 year olds. I was 16 4 years ago and mentally and physically not much has changed
December 11th, 2009 at 2:53 PM
i get the impression she always smells like cigarettes and appletini’s. not as cute as those previously mentioned.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:54 PM
In that case, yes I agree with you. Amazing what happens when you mix Germans and Scandinavians in farm country.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:54 PM
Bell is a little too hot to win the cute off I think. Like, she’s purely better than the other two as a whole, but if we’re narrowly defining it as who is cutest, as opposed to who I’d like to fuck (and this is key, WHY I’d like to fuck them), then I can’t put her any higher than third. I’m glad we had this talk.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:55 PM
hunyak > hogmollie
December 11th, 2009 at 2:56 PM
Shawn Johnson
/ducks
December 11th, 2009 at 2:58 PM
http://webb.nmu.edu/SportsUSOEC/Sports/Greco-RomanWrestling/ProfileLester.shtml
Here ya go Bulldog, a little profile on lester. and wow i can see how that maybe came off as a little racey.
/Not my intention at all
//oi boy.
December 11th, 2009 at 2:59 PM
If I was 20 and some hot 16-year-old was in to me, I could see that going down. If I were 27? No way in hell.
December 11th, 2009 at 3:00 PM
Jennette McCurdy. Sam from iCarly. Total illegal crush on her.
December 11th, 2009 at 3:01 PM
Personally, of the three, I’d love to bend Beidel over the most, but in terms of cuteness…well, Hannigan wasn’t really that cute, and at least in my mind, blonde>brown in terms of cuteness. Plus Beidel’s eyes are too striking for her to be “cute”
December 11th, 2009 at 3:01 PM
I feel dirty after typing that. Kinda glad this thread died down.
December 11th, 2009 at 3:04 PM
mongoloid > hunyak > hogmollie
Beadle for cute of the year FTW!!!!
December 11th, 2009 at 3:06 PM
I’ll never forget
December 11th, 2009 at 3:06 PM
mildly inappropriate.
There was a girl on One Tree Hill this season (or maybe all the seasons, hell if I know) that was super cute-tastic
/hands in man card
December 11th, 2009 at 3:07 PM
/hands in man card
I was just arguing the cuteness of three girls primarily based on watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Gilmore Girls, and Veronica Mars.
December 11th, 2009 at 3:08 PM
Pigsplosion material.
December 11th, 2009 at 3:09 PM
still, never seen an episode of One Tree Hill.
fag
December 11th, 2009 at 3:09 PM
I just think she’s cute.
December 11th, 2009 at 3:10 PM
Buncha PedoBears in here
December 11th, 2009 at 3:10 PM
She’s 17! Sweet. I can either go young with her, or old with Cuddy. Haven’t decided…
December 11th, 2009 at 3:11 PM
Hey man it’s a good sh-
nope, can’t even finish that sentence. I watched the show cause it is this girl I was pounding out’s favorite show.
December 11th, 2009 at 3:15 PM
I believe my Selena Gomez crush is on record. She’s 17. One more year.
December 11th, 2009 at 3:15 PM
I’m glad “pounding out” is going to have a renaissance in this country.
December 11th, 2009 at 3:17 PM
She was fetch’s “slam unit”.
December 11th, 2009 at 3:17 PM
Repeat after me: half your age + 7. And you can round down. Anything less than that is fucking creepy.
December 11th, 2009 at 3:18 PM
I’m using that until it no longer allows me to bang 17 year olds
December 11th, 2009 at 3:23 PM
Fuck that age of consent is all I need. In Michigan it’s 16, I know this because when I was dating a girl who was 18 and I was a month away from 16 my friends looked it up to see if it could be considered statutory rape.
/it could
December 11th, 2009 at 3:26 PM
This is legal in your area?
December 11th, 2009 at 3:28 PM
+ alot, i thought i me and my buddies were the only ones who followed this method. I use this only for dating reason though. If i’m 30 and can nail a 21 year old, i’m not turning that down.
December 11th, 2009 at 3:31 PM
Um, you wouldn’t need to following that rule anyways.
December 11th, 2009 at 3:33 PM
30 – 15= 15…..15+7=22…..which would mean 22 is the youngest i can go. So 21 would break the rule. My math skillz are awesome.
December 11th, 2009 at 3:35 PM
Yeah, 21 is the absolute lowest I’m going. If she’s too young to drink in a bar, she’s too young.
December 11th, 2009 at 3:36 PM
Wow I thought that said 22 and not 21. I need to stop studying.
December 11th, 2009 at 4:02 PM
those hoes are butt ugly on any scale. Why in the holy fuck do you people keep MTV afloat????
December 11th, 2009 at 4:10 PM
fuck that. if I’m 80+ and loaded, I’m still finding 20+ year olds looking for a sugar daddy.
/what I wanna be when I grow up.