The New Pro Bowling Association Champ Has Quite the Story
1-liner, Bowling December 16th. 2009, 2:50pmPBA Champ: “Tom Smallwood has gone from picking up unemployment checks to picking up spares and 10-pin glory, capturing the Professional Bowlers Association World Championship on Sunday in Wichita, Kansas. Smallwood edged the PBA Player of the Year, Wes “Big Nasty” Malott, 32, of Pflugerville, Texas, 244-228. Tour officials said it was a nail-biter.” Norman Chad will be thrilled. Best way to spend the $50,000 in winnings? Get the heck out of Detroit and relocate. [Detroit News]
86 Responses to “The New Pro Bowling Association Champ Has Quite the Story”
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December 16th, 2009 at 2:55 PM
watch out for Ernie McCracken in the Odor Eaters Invitational
December 16th, 2009 at 2:55 PM
I actually watched this. How bad is that? Do I need help?
December 16th, 2009 at 2:55 PM
Won’t that buy you 500 or so houses in Detroit? Instant land baron.
December 16th, 2009 at 2:57 PM
+1
December 16th, 2009 at 2:57 PM
Hehehehe… Smallwood. This guy was behind the eight ball before life started.
December 16th, 2009 at 2:58 PM
That’s Big Ern’, to you.
December 16th, 2009 at 2:59 PM
Ice Rink in Fenway picture
December 16th, 2009 at 3:01 PM
I bowled a 190 recently. killing them on the lanes. trails of bodies all over
December 16th, 2009 at 3:01 PM
I have never had fun bowling.
/true story
December 16th, 2009 at 3:02 PM
I dont like bowling, unless it’s Xtreme.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:03 PM
You’re not drinking enough then
December 16th, 2009 at 3:04 PM
Is that where you beat people with bowling shoes?
December 16th, 2009 at 3:06 PM
I’ve had fun before, but that was probably because of the pitcher of beer I drank while bowling and less from the actual bowling.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:06 PM
bowling is fun and more of a sport than golf.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:06 PM
You’re not
drinkingtrashy enough then/more accurate
December 16th, 2009 at 3:07 PM
Probably due to your limp wrist.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:07 PM
bowling is fun and more of a sport than golf
I would stab you with a spoon right now if I could.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:08 PM
I really hope it snows
December 16th, 2009 at 3:08 PM
Winter Classic in Fenway > Winter Classic in Wrigley
also: Bruins-Habs rivalry > Wings-Hawks “rivalry”
December 16th, 2009 at 3:09 PM
you mean you would attempt to stab me with a spoon but only end up getting beat down.fag.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:10 PM
Speaking of “rivalries”, how bout them Flyers eh cracker?
December 16th, 2009 at 3:10 PM
/tough guy’d
December 16th, 2009 at 3:10 PM
midnight bowling with the strobe lights is a heck of a good time while on shrooms
December 16th, 2009 at 3:10 PM
Xtreme bowling is when you do stupid stunts when you’re drunk and bowl in different lanes. My friends a cop in Jamaica, Queens and he wore his uniform to the lanes on LI once. He took a ball, threw it in the air down a lane that wasn’t his. The manager threatened to call the cops, but then saw my friend was in a uniform, and just asked nicely to stop. I felt like I could’ve punch a child with him and gotten away with it.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:11 PM
199 is my high. All I had to do was hit 7 pins on my last throw to get 200 and I hit 6. I was pissed.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:11 PM
What’s closer: Midway or O’Hare?
December 16th, 2009 at 3:12 PM
you holding?
/DEAD FUCKING SERIOUS
December 16th, 2009 at 3:12 PM
The Dude abides. Shrooms, weed, massive amounts of white russians.
/checkin in to see what condition my condition is in
December 16th, 2009 at 3:13 PM
Great song. That character is the tits.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:14 PM
i have a bowled a 215. i was sooo in the zone when i did it. my hook was just working that day
December 16th, 2009 at 3:15 PM
I’ve hit 200 before.
/in three games
//barely
December 16th, 2009 at 3:15 PM
where’s gonzo? he is a bowler
December 16th, 2009 at 3:15 PM
Kenny Rogers.
/shitting you, not
December 16th, 2009 at 3:16 PM
mrejr…is bowling a sport or an activity?
December 16th, 2009 at 3:16 PM
Spoons don’t work that well. Now a spork, that could do some serious damage.
/Science
December 16th, 2009 at 3:17 PM
There is a guy (or should I say dude?) who lives in my neighborhood who looks just like The Dude. same hair, facial hair and wears very similar clothes. He’s awesome.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:17 PM
spence just know it is more of a sport than golf.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:18 PM
Spoons don’t work that well. Now a spork, that could do some serious damage.
Do they make metal sporks?
December 16th, 2009 at 3:19 PM
Best Cohen brothers movie? Top 3?
/Lebowski
//O Brother
///Fargo
December 16th, 2009 at 3:19 PM
please.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:20 PM
bowling is absolutely a sport. and i shit on 215.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:20 PM
Lebowski
Fargo
Raising Arizona
December 16th, 2009 at 3:21 PM
I am better at bowling when I drink. So no it is not a sport.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:22 PM
id say so. fargo is great though.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:22 PM
we will never agree on this subject spence so why argue about it?
December 16th, 2009 at 3:22 PM
im not saying bowling isn’t a sport. but golf is just as much of one as bowling, if not more.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:22 PM
just know it is more of a sport than golf.
How so? It’s played in one of the last remaining public places where people can smoke. That environment isn’t athlete-friendly, ass.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:22 PM
No Country for Old Men missing fail. I’d like to put Barton Fink in but can’t do it.
Obviously not, since golf is harder/takes more skill what with the endless variety of situations in golf vs. one situation in bowling. That said if golf is a sport bowling is a sport.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:22 PM
played my first round of golf this weekend…I’m a better golfer than bowler.
I’m also an uncoordinated mfer.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:23 PM
great. good for you. i never said i was the greatest.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:23 PM
oh, so now you want to make peace BEFORE the argument the ONE time i bring it up instead of getting ambushed.
well, fine. lets move on.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:23 PM
And thank christ for that.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:23 PM
Lebowski
Raising Arizona
Fargo
/I have not seen O Brother, but I’ve heard great things.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:24 PM
have you ever been sober bowling though? so how do you really know?
December 16th, 2009 at 3:25 PM
Now a spork, that could do some serious damage.
aren’t spork’s plastic? i’ve never seen a metal spork.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:25 PM
O Brother is good, but its not as good as Raising/Fink/Fargo/Lebowski/NO Country/serious man, and about on par with The Man Who Wasn’t There.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:26 PM
if it’s on espn, it’s a sport
/poker’d
December 16th, 2009 at 3:26 PM
Bowling is great. tons of beer, tons of gambling opportunities. here’s my gambling secret: bet a guy $5 that his girlfriend/wife won’t pick up her spare. he feels obligated to take the bet, she usually doesn’t pick it up.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:26 PM
how is it you get ambushed when i say it in every post about golf? if you keep getting ambushed by me then you are an idiot.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:28 PM
to be fair, i am pretty dumb.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:28 PM
do you make it so she hears you offer that bet?
December 16th, 2009 at 3:28 PM
yes,yes you are.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:29 PM
he feels obligated to take the bet,
Gambling Rule #1: separate personal emotion
December 16th, 2009 at 3:29 PM
Why in the fuck would somebody do that?
December 16th, 2009 at 3:30 PM
do you make it so she hears you offer that bet?
no, but do it in front of others, so he feels the peer pressure.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:32 PM
no, but do it in front of others, so he feels the peer pressure.
it sounds like your the creepy dude who just hangs out at the bowling alley to pick up chicks.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:35 PM
Any Coen Bros. “Best Of” list is shit without Hudsucker Proxy on it.
/You know, for kids
December 16th, 2009 at 3:38 PM
Bowled a 231 once. That’s almost 200 more than our current President.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:40 PM
solid
/…and they dock you!
December 16th, 2009 at 3:41 PM
And?
December 16th, 2009 at 3:43 PM
the bowling lanes in the white house are going to not be used as much.
at least that’s my best guess.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:44 PM
And?
Just saying he’s a limp wristed puss.
/where’s Sportsgal, I want to watch the is Bush or Obama a better athlete debate again.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:44 PM
My 4 year old is absolutely NUTS about bowling. Granted it’s bumper bowling with a 6 lb ball. It’s fun to sit back and just watch him and his brother, bowl and fight with each other, because I suck at bowling. In my useless opinion, golf is a very difficult activity. Oh, speaking of bowling while drunk, I shoot pool really well when I’m good and loaded. I don’t know if anyone else concurs.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:44 PM
at least that’s my best guess.
I thought I’d read he’d had them taken out and put in a basketball court.
/serious
December 16th, 2009 at 3:46 PM
absolutely. not sure if i get better at darts when hammered but it certainly becomes more dangerous.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:49 PM
I shoot pool really well when I’m good and loaded. I don’t know if anyone else concurs.
same here. shuffle board is my strongest bar game, though.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:50 PM
Congratulations, because that matters.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:52 PM
Ditto. After 10 Crown and cokes, I turn into Minnesota Fats.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:53 PM
Congratulations, because that matters.
Perhaps you’re too young to remember Jose but George Bush defeated the terrorists by throwing out the first pitch at Yankee Stadium like a man. Thus the golden age the rest of his presidency was.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:55 PM
drinking has never made me better at anything.
if i smoke a fat blunt though, i clean up at the ruit table. until the beer takes over anyway.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:55 PM
That made me gag a little just reading it. Do you dissolve a candy cane in each one, too?
December 16th, 2009 at 3:56 PM
Fat man, you shoot a great game of pool.
December 16th, 2009 at 3:56 PM
i prefer crown and ginger ale. mmmmm.
December 16th, 2009 at 4:55 PM
I used to drink Crown and water but it dissolved too much of my stomach lining. I usually put diet Coke in it anyway. Too lazy to type the extra word.
December 16th, 2009 at 4:57 PM
Enjoy the good times now Jose. Pretty soon Obama’s bowling score will be higher than his approval rating. It’s already 44-37 so he’s closing in quickly.
December 16th, 2009 at 7:41 PM
It’s a good thing if you have plummeting approval ratings, so long as you believe you’re doing what’s best for the country.
/2006 talking point’d