I Finally Finished The Book of Basketball
Bill Simmons, ESPN, NBA December 22nd. 2009, 5:00pm
It’s hard to captivate a reader for 702 pages. Tolstoy, Dostoevsky and now, apparently, Simmons. In The Book of Basketball, Bill spends 702 pages expounding two insights that will alter profoundly perception of the sport. Teamwork is the secret to winning. Michael Jordan is the greatest player of all time. Thanks, professor (kidding).
Bill Simmons has an obsessive mind. He’s not a man to list his top ten basketball players of all time. He’s a man to outline his ideal construction for the Hall of Fame, rank and profile the 96 players he believes should fill it and then write thousands of words in a column about how he changed his mind.
It’s this obsession that makes Simmons detail-attentive, analytical and creative. He examines every angle – some you would think of, some you would never think of and some you wish he never thought of.
Not everyone would hound the NBA for footage of Walt Bellamy or Dolph Schayes to better understand basketball. Not everyone hits #1 on the New York Times Bestseller list.
The Book of Basketball has flaws. Freed from censors, Simmons struggles initially to balance himself. He references porn a little too frequently in the first few hundred pages, descending from ribald into creepy.
Simmons trusts the objective weight of his own logic too much in my opinion. He focuses on his grand theorizing and, perhaps subconsciously, masks where his writing is strongest, the memoir. Bill with his immaculately stached father is far more compelling than who Bill thinks should have won the NBA MVP in 1964.
A more diligent technician could cut 200 pages from this book, but it wouldn’t be a Bill Simmons book. The tangents are crucial.
The Book of Basketball will not convert anyone to Bill Simmons, but he’s past the point where he needs to proselytize. This book taught me a ton about basketball. I was for the most part amused. If you enjoy Simmons’ columns and his rapport with Jack O and House, as I do, you will enjoy this book. Having said that, read it in chunks.
115 Responses to “I Finally Finished The Book of Basketball”
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December 22nd, 2009 at 5:03 PM
OK I’m in. MJ is not the best ever. Basketball (pro) sucks. Play some defense.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:05 PM
thank god! before you put kidding in parentheses i was gonna be all like “he thinks simmons is a professor?! pssh ha pshhh what a dumbass!”
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:06 PM
when did TBL start letting crackheads in here?
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:07 PM
mike tyson is gonna host raw
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:08 PM
DX gonna get revenge on him?
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:09 PM
Bill Simmons growing his hair out Bill Walton -’75-style is long, long overdue.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:09 PM
that could be what he is used for so DX can turn heel before bret shows up.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:10 PM
I enjoyed the Basketball Book..it was long…he beat 70’s coke references into the ground a bit… still not bad and is easy to read in small doses.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:11 PM
Then who is?
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:11 PM
this change needs to happen. supposed to wrestle the hart dynasty on smackdown, so maybe the seed gets planted then.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:12 PM
WTF??? SuperAndy is back?
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:12 PM
Bill Wennington?
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:12 PM
Mre… Bret Hart? The man that jumped infront of a Vince loogy? Vince is bringing him back? Really?
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:13 PM
Didn’t Bret Hart have a stroke..there is no way he is wrestling again!
/well there is a way..it is wrestling
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:13 PM
Hey Sparty!! Happy?
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:14 PM
highly doubt he wrestles. he also received a huge insurance settlement from his last in ring match.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:15 PM
when did TBL start letting crackheads in here?
Anything more than pejorative crap? I’m listening.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:17 PM
i have yet to ever hear an argument of who was better than Jordan. i would be glad to listen. you will be wrong, but go ahead.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:17 PM
Fred. who is the best if it’s not MJ? Russel? Wilt? which overrated guy are you talking about?
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:18 PM
/fixed
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:18 PM
OK I’m in. MJ is not the best ever.
/opposite day’d?
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:20 PM
A few thoughts:
1) Bill Simmons is a douche, and he is also an idiot
2) The NBA shouldnt even be recognized as a legit sport. The league is an absolute joke.
3) Can Bret Hart save the WWE? At this point, who knows. That show last nite was probably the worst thing in wrestling since 2000 era WCW.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:22 PM
Scottie Pippen made Michael Jordan.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:23 PM
so what’s the deal tomorrow … anyone at all working? was at the mall today and it seemed everyone was there. an old man tapped my bumper in the parking lot. i remained calm.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:23 PM
They’re way past the point of anything being “saved”. If you watch Raw now, you get what you deserve.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:23 PM
It was worse. It was the worst wrestling show I’ve ever seen. I’m not even sure it was a wrestling show.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:24 PM
I was drunk/high/lost a lot of money. I needed the familiar comfort of an old friend. And that old friend molested me.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:25 PM
Yeah, I guess I was bein too nice to last nites show.
Remember when Raw was a must see if you like wrestling? Ah, the good ole days.
TNA Monday nite January 4th. Can they finally get it right?
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:26 PM
It was Jordan who made Pippen, how did he do without Mike?
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:26 PM
yeah that was bad last night. the only way the hart/dx angle works is if DX are heels. i think the wwe tried to turn dx heel with the hornswoggle bit but no one gives a shit about hornswoggle. have HBK go out there and super kick tyson and do something bad. it is the only way.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:26 PM
Gots to be quote of the day!!!! +1 to you sir.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:27 PM
Scottie Pippen made Michael Jordan work harder because he wasn’t as good as Michael.
That’s what you meant right?
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:27 PM
Let’s not go crazy here.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:28 PM
Sorry SuperAndy. Forgot to use the sarcasm font…
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:28 PM
Forget it. I’m not even gonna continue this with you. It’s a waste of my fingers. good luck.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:28 PM
Andy, please dont give me a headache this time around. Please?
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:29 PM
Oh lol yea there needs to be one of those. I’m so sick of hearing the Pippen thing.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:30 PM
God simmon’s dad is mark twain’s doppelgänger
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:30 PM
Magic and Bird made the NBA watchable. Oscar Robertson, Russell….I’m tired of it being an accepted fact that he is the best athlete ever. Gretzky, Lemieux, Ovechkin, Jim Brown, Barry Sanders, Deion… the list goes on. Can’t we just say “one of the best”?
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:30 PM
Don’t worry TBL. SuperAndy will be nice, well ok not nice nice but not a complete rude pissing people off for no reason asshole.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:31 PM
I must be too new here yet.
Is SuperAndy some kind of past character comin back to his old stomping grounds?
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:31 PM
Is there going to be a review of the Klosterman book? Whoops. Wrong site.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:31 PM
Wow.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:32 PM
One of these things is not like the others, one of these things doesn’t belong…
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:32 PM
NO one said he was the best athlete ever.
Best basketball player ever, check.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:32 PM
He got banned for, iirc, some insanely racist shit.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:33 PM
I must say Deion in that group made me literally lol.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:33 PM
I thought he meant Ovie.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:34 PM
I finished it in like a day, which means its short as fuck. Mostly good though, the Garth Brooks piece is hilarious. If you liked him before you’ll like this, but nothing groundbreaking.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:34 PM
I must say Deion in that group made me literally lol.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:35 PM
Banned? Hmmm. I just stopped comming here didn’t know I was banned.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:36 PM
mrejr did seem extremely happy to see him.
and yeah ovie, though Deion is also somewhat out of place.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:36 PM
Magic
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:37 PM
i have a feeling Super Andy’s going to get a quick hook.
Like a Pittsburgh Pirates middle reliever or something.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:37 PM
I am not a hockey follower by any means…
ALso, kinda OT, but any of you old wrestling fans ever go to wrestlecrap.com?
Awesome site.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:38 PM
I must say Deion in that group made me literally lol.
OK, I probably should not have put that there. I step on my dick a lot. But he was a two sporter and good at both.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:38 PM
Their middle relievers were decent, which is why they traded them all away. Who needs a single lefty in the bullpen anyway?
*cries*
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:38 PM
What did I do now? I didn’t even do anything.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:40 PM
Brian Jordan also played two sports.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:44 PM
i have a feeling Super Andy’s going to get a quick hook.
Like a New York Yankee middle reliever in the postseason or something.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:44 PM
Brian Jordan also played two sports.
He was marginal at two sports. Deion hit 300 and was the best at his position in the NFL.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:45 PM
Since apparently the Bill Simmons book is all about stats I thought I would pass this along. Today I started working for the oldest statistician in the NBA, Harvey Pollack of the 76ers. The man has his own wikipedia page!
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:46 PM
I’m out. Someone has me defending Deion Sanders.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:46 PM
Well this guy was the best.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:48 PM
What? Deion’s career average was twenty points lower than Jordan’s and neither hit 300.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:49 PM
/fixed
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:49 PM
Also, Deions career batting average was .263, only hitting .300 one season out of nine. Hell, is carrer OBP is .319.
Don’t put stats down that arent even true Fredrick.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:49 PM
Deion hit .300 one year, he was also a great tackler…
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:51 PM
Jordan hit .300 twice.
/baseball reference’d
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:51 PM
Within one minute 4 people call out Fred and his “Deion was a .300 hitter” BS.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:52 PM
jordan hit .300. in 1996 he hit .310 and in 1998 he went all stone cold on everybody with a avg of .316
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:54 PM
Yeah I was talking career average, Jordan was a much better baseball player than Sanders.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:54 PM
So just to clarify, Deion isn’t a .300 hitter?
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:55 PM
Well this guy was the best.
Should have put Bo on the list. Now I’m out. No really.
What was Jordan’s AA batting average? Or did he just play A ball?
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:58 PM
I like that he got back to the essays. Killing Yourself to Live was very blah and Downtown Owl isn’t him. In my opinion Klosterman’s best stuff is in those Spin Magazine articles. He is the reason I got a subscription to that magazine.
Hearing him talk circles around Simmons when it came to music was both awesome and frustrating as hell that Simmons thinks he knows anything about music.
December 22nd, 2009 at 5:58 PM
You do realize we aren’t talking about Michael Jordan right?
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:00 PM
Adonis or Montell?
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:02 PM
Adonis, obviously.
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:02 PM
For any Klosterman and music fans. One of the best articles ever written.
http://www.spin.com/articles/rock-lexicon
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:02 PM
Also, Deions career batting average was .263, only hitting .300 one season out of nine. Hell, is carrer OBP is .319.
Don’t put stats down that arent even true Fredrick.
Why are we doing this? Was I incorrect? 0.304 in ‘92. Right? And Deion was a better football player by a lot. Right?
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:02 PM
I’m listening to the new one while cleaning right now. Simmons just questioned why Stevie Wonder was in the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame. Your pop culture guru ladies and gentlemen.
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:04 PM
in the age of the internet and the fact that the internet made this guy i still cant believe no one has a pic of his wife
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:04 PM
Magic is my boy, but no.
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:07 PM
Don’t worry. It gets a whole lot worse when Klosterman asks him to explain. I was just waiting for Klosterman to say “YOU STUPID STUPID MAN.”
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:08 PM
really? wow. he grew up in the 60s and seventies and eighties and he doesnt know why stevie wonder is in therock n’ roll hall of fame?. im not buying his book.
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:08 PM
Simmons strikes me as a HUGE White Stripes fan.
Which is not a compliment.
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:12 PM
bill simmons always gets on networks for using classics during their sports events instead of that garbage they put out now.
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:12 PM
It was ridiculous. Simmons is saying Stevie Wonder isn’t rock and roll, which is stupid, but whatever maybe he has a point. So Klosterman makes him explain what exactly is “rock and roll” and Simmons says every rock and roll band should have a guitar. Ok. Then Simmons says Jerry Lee Lewis is rock and roll. Jerry Lee Lewis played PIANO you dumbass. Klosterman called him out and Simmons came off as a babbling buffoon.
Simmons wants the rock and roll hall of fame to consist of Kiss and U2 and no one else. What a jackass.
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:13 PM
I’m about as white as you can be and I know why Stevie is in the Hall of fame.
OK I’m stil here.
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:15 PM
Throw in Aerosmith, and I’m jumping off a bridge. Ugh. Bet he loved that stupid nuclear weapon album.
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:15 PM
i cant listen to “a beautiful day” without those bitches reminiscing about the patriots/rams superbowl
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:16 PM
i cant stand that song
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:18 PM
because you have a better shot of knowing why stevie is in the hall of fame if you’re black?
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:18 PM
good to have you back SuperAndy.
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:20 PM
I’m pretty sure the only black people Simmons believes should be in the Hall of Fame are Living Colour and Chuck Berry, and he referred to the former as “In Living Color”.
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:22 PM
Thank you.
Good to be back.
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:23 PM
come on mrejr, dont you know black people get circulated pamphlets on other black people and their standing in society and/or worthiness to be in a pointless HOF?
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:25 PM
So that’s how Jim Rice got in.
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:25 PM
the Klostermann podcast was a mess. I’m sure Simmons is a smart guy but he sounds so ridiculously dumb debating with Klostermann
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:28 PM
TST – he got in so whenever Boston is called a racist organization, they can point to Jim Rice in rebuttle.
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:29 PM
I’ll go back to the Simmons book for a second. I am of the opinion that the guy wrote the entire book based on the premise that the 86 Celtics were the best team ever, (and MJ was the best ever) and worked backwards from there.
I thought he did a really good job on Kareem, when he finally got around to talking about him. i still have about 20 pages to go in the book. It has lasted several hundred bowel movements.
And I dont’ know what the fuck Super Andy is doing here.
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:31 PM
The problem is they started talking about music which is Klosterman’s wheel house and instead of letting Klosterman throw his theories out, he kept butting in with stupid proclamations.
Simmons is that kid you went to high school and college with that thinks he knows everything, but is just talking out of his ass, but no one fights back because he has cool parties at his house and you want the invite.
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:32 PM
that pretty much sums it up, yea.
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:40 PM
I don’t even remember you dude, so you must not be important.
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:44 PM
because you have a better shot of knowing why stevie is in the hall of fame if you’re black?
Yes, if you’re a cracker from upstate NY, not a lot of Stevie on the radio. Sorry, I had to find it on my own. And did.
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:52 PM
beyond great genes and an awesome sense of humor my parents didnt give me a lot but they did give me appreciation for quality music. for that alone i thank them
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:55 PM
commenter mvp
/recognize
December 22nd, 2009 at 6:57 PM
Nothing but Harry Chapin 24/7.
December 22nd, 2009 at 7:02 PM
beyond great genes and an awesome sense of humor my parents didnt give me a lot but they did give me appreciation for quality music. for that alone i thank them
Trying to do the same for my kids. Stevie, Doobies, Eagles and Creedence plus 2 mix CD’s in my car right now. I’ll listen to anything good. Ideas?
December 22nd, 2009 at 7:15 PM
I’m trying to figure out which comment is dumber “MJ isn’t the best player ever” or “Stevie Wonder shouldn’t be in the Rock N’Roll HOF”
December 22nd, 2009 at 7:26 PM
My vote is for the anti Stevie Wonder guy. And I don’t have an ESPN gig. Sticking with my previous opinion on MJ. Fire away.
December 22nd, 2009 at 7:59 PM
Fred, I’m curious of a couple of things. First, who your actual greatest player ever is. Second, why you don’t get a Fred Sanford picture for your little box.
You keep saying that MJ isn’t the best player ever, but you don’t ever say who is the best player ever. You’re the guy with something to prove, because you’re going against a consensus.
December 22nd, 2009 at 8:07 PM
I need one of these ESPN sweater vests for Halloween.
December 22nd, 2009 at 8:15 PM
It’s amazing hes kept it so private. I can guarantee you if he was still in boston, we’d have pics. Out in LA, not so much. I give him credit, he’s kept his life HIS.
December 22nd, 2009 at 8:18 PM
I’m pretty sure Stevie Wonder is in the R&R Hall of Fame because he can’t find his way out. Kinda like the time Helen Keller’s parents accidentally left her in the basement.