Cubs 9, Brewers 4: When’s the last time the Cubbies led off around these parts? Who the hell knows, but they can thank the World Champion Chicago Blackhawks – who hoisted their first Stanley Cup in 49 years – for the prime real estate. However, this is a baseball post, so raise your glass to the Cubs for slugging five home runs off the immortal Randy Wolf en route to not depressing Chicago residents on the same night something great happened in the Second City. And while we’re here, how about a tip of the cap to longtime friend of the site, Video Game Jeremy Roenick? He’s probably deserving of a ring.

White Sox 15, Tigers 3: Ramon Castro and Brent Lillibridge (wait, who and who?) both defiantly smacked three-run homers in the name of shutting Kenny Williams’ mouthy mouth, but also in an effort to maintain the city wide winning vibe; at least for one night. Get this, Freddy Garcia went seven innings and got the win, his sixth (!) of the season.

Indians 11, Red Sox 0: Justin Masterson, who’s basically become the modern day version of Anthony Young, has put together two consecutive wins! What’s insane is that Masterson managed to dominate the very team that traded him in the form of a two-hit, complete game shutout. Unbelievable. Baseball will never make sense and neither will Barry Melrose’s goatee.

Rays 10, Blue Jays 1: If this question has been asked, then I apologize … but imagine David Price was a Yankee and Joba was a Ray? Price just won his 9th game and I haven’t heard crap about him from anyone other than fantasy addicts and those who sleep in Kurkjian/Olney-branded pajamas. He’s really good, everyone should take notice.

Reds 6, Giants 3: Listen, I’ve been in the Orlando Cabrera camp (4 for 5, 3 runs) for years, but the guy gets traded around like a boring stripper. It’s as puzzling as the shitty perfume.

Dodgers 4, Cardinals 3: Taking a look at the box score it brings a smile to my face that Cardinals fans and Tony La Russa now have to deal “R. Winn grounded out to third.” Quite a way to end a game. Still, my favorite is “R. Winn grounded out to himself.” Special kid.

Annnnnyway, let’s bring it back to how this post started. Chicago. Somewhere, I’m guessing a few TBL commenters have scrapped and clawed their way to a nipple sighting:

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