Almost every week Stephen Douglas and Tim Ryan will take you on a journey through links and pictures related to the previous days. Sometimes, we’re too hungover or too-on-vacation to compile a post such as this. In that case you’ll go without it and be forced to use the previous page option to remember the big stories. This is not one of those weeks. Let’s chat.

1. LeBron James
Cousins of Ron Mexico – Or something like that. We’ve all seen the non-story and turned it into a non-story about the non-story. Yes, I’m aware I posted about it as soon as it happened. I still like to blame TBL for perpetuating such pointless drivel. His breakdown of what probably happened is definitely interesting though.

The Sports Hernia – LeBron James, a professional male athlete, hearts Vegas, Patron, tits and ass. For reasons unknown, all of that was supposed to be a secret.

2. Lorenzen Wright Murdered
CRM – When the news of his disappearance hit, I thought he might have just run from his debt. Absolutely awful reality of the situation for a guy that everyone spoke highly of.

TSH – Sad story. I remember when Wright and Penny Hardaway played together at Memphis State. This was before Memphis State became Memphis, and before Penny Hardaway was turned into a doll, rumored to be gay, and no longer a good basketball player.

3. Rick Pitino
CRM – What more can be said about Quick Rick? (I may have stolen that from Whitlock. If so, I apologize.)

TSH – Interesting tidbit: Mike D’Antoni’s offense in Phoenix was inspired by Rick Pitino’s excited penis.

4. Strasburg Placed on DL with Inflamed Shoulder
TSH – The biggest surprise thus far is not the injury, but the fact that no one has created a Twitter account called StephenStrasburgsShoulder.

CRM – Don’t worry, some clever commenter will take that and run with it. Come back soon Stephen! We miss you!

5. Jersey Shore
CRM – Cashmere Wright was the one saying “Party’s here!” Until last night at least. To those of you who deem yourselves too good for Jersey Shore or think its the downfall of our society, come at me bro. See what happens.

TSH – At first I was shocked to see this headline in the Wall Street Journal. Seconds later, I was stunned to see that horrendous picture of Snooki. She looks like a guidette goblin that escaped Castlevania.

Honorable Mention: Shitty Field … Kevin Durant and Team USA … cum husk … Crhis Bosh hangs around with weird dolls … Scarlett was at Comic Con. Hence the picture … A-Rod only has 599 home runs … a fucking hat!

And, for no apparent reason, this:

[Images via Getty]