Brewers 3, Cardinals 2: Dave Bush, who’s 6-10 on the season and was shellacked by the Diamondbacks in his previous start, kept the complacent Cardinals in check for six innings of one-run ball. John Axford and his tremendous mustache came on for the five-out save. Yahoo has deemed his lady tickler so offensive, they refuse to acknowledge what he looks like. Jaime Garcia has lost two of his last three starts, but I’m blaming last night’s setback on the glove of sloppy third baseman, Felipe Lopez. The loss puts St. Louis two back in the NL Central. Somewhere in Missouri, Tony La Russa lurks.

Reds 6, Diamondbacks 2: Tim McCarver’s favorite NL pitcher, Brandon Arroyo, gave up two runs over 7 1/3 and handed the ball over to Arthur Rhodes, who struck out both batters he faced. I don’t care what his numbers say, Rhodes will take a steaming dump on the mound if the Reds make it to the postseason.

Twins 7, White Sox 6 (10 innings): You know what I screamed when Jim Thome made contact on his walkoff homer in the bottom of the 10th? “Stretch! You can put it on the booooooooooooard… Yeeees!” Eat a dick, Hawk. And I apologize for making Hawk Harrelson such an intricate part of Yardwork lately, but Quick Pitch on MLB Network usually features at least six Hawk calls per morning. I can’t help it.

Royals 2, Indians 1: Zack Greinke allowed one run over six, and he’s allowed just two runs over his last 14 innings pitched, which pretty much makes for his best back-to-back starts all season. They’re not gonna make this guy suffer through another season in Kansas City, are they? He’s 8-11. That’s just depressing. And yes, I’m blaming everyone but him for that subpar record.

Marlins 6, Pirates 0: Ricky Nolasco cruised through six scoreless innings, striking out nine. But once again, the Pirates are the story. Courtesy of JoeSportsFan’s hair honcho Matt Sebek, we get this awesome stat – yesterday, the Pirates ended their FOURTH 7-game losing streak of the season. Outstanding.

Padres 1, Cubs 0: The ignored Padres are 8-2 over their last 10 and have a 5-game lead in the West, but I won’t force you to care. Jon Garland hasn’t given up a run in 13 innings. That may or may not have something to do with facing the Cubs and Pirates in his last two starts.

Dodgers 6, Rockies 0: Clayton Kershaw pitched seven scoreless to put the Dodgers an impressive two games over .500.

Rays 10, Rangers 1: Tampa put three runs on the board in the first, and that’s pretty much all they really need when Matt Garza’s on the mound.

Phillies 9, Giants 3: Roy Oswalt put together another great start (7 IP, 6 H, 3 ER), but the fun storyline in this one was the return of Pat the Bat. He went deep in the top of the first after getting a nice welcome back ovation from the Philly crowd. I just want to know what he got into after the game. Pat hearts Philly nightlife like Utley hearts hairspray.

Red Sox 6, Angels 0: Clay Buchholz is now 14-5 with a 2.36 ERA, a 1.19 WHIP and an assload of necklaces. Dustin Pedroia went hitless in his return, but who cares, the laser show is back. And I never knew about Kevin Youkilis in Milk Money. What the?

For no reason other than to pass the baton of annoyance, I present you a commercial that greatly disrupted my morning:

[Photo via Getty]