Dodgers 3, Phillies 0: Hiroki Kuroda took a no-hit bid into the eighth inning until he was met by the uncooperative Shane Victorino, who hit a single. You have to love Kuroda’s quote after the game though. “I knew the fans wanted it and I knew my teammates wanted it. I felt I betrayed the fans and my teammates.” Probably being a little too hard on himself considering he threw 7 2/3 shutout innings. Kind of reminds me of when Hideki Matsui apologized to the fans and his teammates for breaking his wrist while trying to make a diving catch in a rainy Yanks-Sawx game. On the losing end was Roy Halladay, but the guy has gone seven innings or more in 24 of his 28 starts this season. That’s absurd.

Braves 9, Mets 3: Jason Heyward hit a three-run shot and finished with 4 RBIs, all of which came with two outs. He’s Superman. Actually, the mysterious Josh Thole might in fact be Superman, as he refuses to share his identity with Yahoo Sports.

White Sox 10, Indians 6 (11 innings): Manny returns to The Jake tonight!

Reds 5, Brewers 4: Jay Bruce began his night with a leadoff home run and finished it with a walkoff single. Now up by six games, the Reds have won the NL Central.

Rays 6, Blue Jays 2: The Rays are in a dead heat with the Yankees in the AL East and the fiendish Tampa fanbase simply cannot get enough. Last night they packed in an announced crowd of 11,968. Ridiculous.

Rockies 2, Giants 1: Closer Brian Wilson was greeted by a triple and another triple three batters later. There’s your blown save. Bad loss for the Giants, but it’s mandatory that they lose whenever the Phillies lose.

Rangers 3, Royals 0: C.J. Wilson did what you’re supposed to do against the Royals — he shut them out for 7 2/3 innings. The nondescript, boring AL West has been over for months.

Diamondbacks 7, Padres 2: The D-Backs announcer dubbed Mark Reynolds — who homered twice — “the Sheriff of Swattingham.” Somewhere in New York, John Sterling just got wood.

Yankees 11, Athletics 5: Speaking of Sterling, here’s what he said following a Marcus Thames HR last night: “Happy Thames Are Here Again!” The Yankees really need to stop hitting home runs.

Astros 3, Cardinals 0: The inebriated Cardinals continue to roam aimlessly through the streets without cab money. This embattled group can’t seem to escape the wrath of the Nationals, Pirates and Astros. Totally understandable. And this was in the roundup, but it’s worth mentioning again. A two-shit shutout courtesy of the Hou-shit Astros:

[Mets grab via Yahoo; Cards grab via JSF; Sax masterpiece via Getty]