The first weekend of the college football season is over, almost.  Here are the noteworthy events that range from brilliant to heinous, just like the Baldwin brothers.

Mark Herzlich (Alec): The Boston College Linebacker won ACC Defensive Player of the Year in 2008. He was among the top linebacker prospects for the 2010 Draft, but he missed all of 2009 battling a rare form of bone cancer. Doctors considered his football recovery questionable, but he returned to the field Saturday. He led the Eagles out of the tunnel. He also lasted long enough to have five tackles.  Not bad, for a player not permitted to practice in pads until last Tuesday.

Oregon Ducks (Alec): The Ducks beat an FBS opponent 72-0 with 720 yards of total offense, tying the [Oregon] record FBS margin of victory. Those numbers are especially impressive, considering they stopped trying at halftime and did it without their intended starters at quarterback and running back. You can’t fault them for symmetry. You can fault them for wearing an overzealous Nike designer’s wet dream every weekend.

The Oklahoma State Pickens (Alec): The most impressive Big 12 team this weekend was neither Nebraska, Texas nor Oklahoma. It was Oklahoma State. They creamed Washington St. 65-17. During one stretch they scored 34 points in eight minutes and eight seconds of possession. Kendall Hunter ran for 257 yards, the first Cowboy running back to eclipse 200 since Barry Sanders.

TCU Horned Frogs (Billy): The Horned Frogs earned respect this weekend. Apparently, finishing in the top ten three of the past four seasons was not impressive enough. TCU beat down a good Oregon St. team. Only a C- performance from quarterback Andy Dalton kept the score modest. Like the program, but had to demote them for wearing these uniforms.

The SEC (Daniel): The SEC is the toughest conference in the country, by reputation. Florida was docile against Miami of Ohio. LSU nearly lost a three-touchdown lead against a gasping UNC program. Auburn allowed 26 points at home to Arkansas State. Ole Miss lost to intended victim Jacksonville State in overtime. The SEC may still surpass the Big 12, but it’s now a debate.

Dave Wannstedt (Daniel): Losing to Utah isn’t shameful. Repetitively losing in the same manner is. Pitt teams under Wannstedt are talented and highly ranked. They are also incredibly unreliable in close games against good teams, when coaching becomes a factor. Wannstedt may be a decent guy. He sports a bitchin’ mustache, but he is an adept coordinator routinely hired above his station and kept around too long, because he looks like a football coach.

Lane Kiffin (Stephen): Most college football coaches are jerks. Few manage to be as overt as Lane Kiffin. He left a shit-storm at Tennessee. His program is under NCAA sanctions. Most would bide time quietly. Lane Kiffin goes for two-point conversions on his first three touchdowns against an overmatched opponent on national television. Being a heel only works if you’ve won something.

The Family Forcier (Stephen): Denard Robinson took over. Tate Forcier sulked. He did not signal plays. He paid no attention. He sat on the bench by himself, with a towel over his head. His petulance was palpable. Forcier left the media with the iconic words “All you need to know is I’m out.” The assumption was he was transferring. Forcier’s father – who had him training with Todd Marinovich’s crazy father in third grade – contradicted his son after a “brief” conversation, saying he was “150 percent” going to stay, his sulking routine was to avoid cameras (though the cameras started focusing on him when he began sulking) and expressed his confidence Robinson would be injured before the end of the season. Trust common sense and the primary source.