Yardwork: Pujols Hits Two Walkoff HRs in Two Days
By Tim Ryan
In case members of Cubbie Nation were curious, Albert’s spastic strut towards home plate yesterday was done for the sole purpose of providing another lasting memory on your loss-stained brain. The series sweep puts Chicago’s losing streak at six. On the bright side, Al B. Sure is a free agent after the season, remember? On the even brighter side, Carlos Zambrano is taking it all in stride and publicly has the back of his teammates with unwavering support and compassion, but not really:
"“We’re playing like a Triple-A team Zambrano said. This is embarrassing. Embarrassing for the team, for the owners. Embarrassing for the fans. We should know that Ryan Theriot is not a good fastball hitter, we should know that as a team. We stink. That’s all I have to say.”"
That’s quite a nice dig at Carlos Marmol, who served up the game-tying double to Theriot in the ninth. My advice: This team is begging to busted open like a puss-filled whitehead with a hint of yellow. Just get it over with.
Tigers 7, White Sox 3 — Jake Peavey went four innings and served up six runs on three hits and three walks, but the bulk of the damage came thanks to a grand slam from good old, Ryan Raburn.
Phils 7, Pirates 3 — Thanks to Doc the Phillies avoided a sweep at the hands of the Pirates. And thanks to Charlie Morton on Saturday night, I don’t owe commenters across the country a shipment of Chipwiches. He came damn close though, he’s a pretty good pitcher. Also, the 28-30 Pirates are flirting with .500 again. I thought this crap was over.
Brewers 6, Marlins 5, 11 innings — Holy hell, do you think the Marlins could have sold out a minor league park yesterday? To be fair though, the weather looks crappy and the seats were rumored to be equipped with impromptu ass-cheek squeezers.
So Buster Posey is in good spirits? Well I must say, I’m beyond delighted to hear it. He’s been nothing but a class act throughout this entire ordeal that really should have never been an ordeal. Here’s Posey: “I was ready to get out of the house, and I wanted to see these guys to let everyone know I’m fine.” Listen dickhead, you got hit by a baseball player, not a runaway hearse. Enough with the theatrics. Screw him, screw Brian Sabean and screw the Giants.
[Photo via Getty]