UFC 131 was supposed to be a super card featuring Brock Lesnar. Like all Brock Lesnar-headlined shows, it would have been big business. Then Lesnar’s diverticulitis (Holy shit I just spelled that without looking it up. That’s not a good sign for Lesnar.) came back and he had to pull out of the fight.

Junior dos Santos (12-1, 6-0 UFC) vs. Shane Carwin (12-1, 4-1 UFC)
So instead of fighting Brok Lesnar, Junior dos Santos will fight Shane Carwin. That’s still pretty damn good. Even if Shane Carwin doesn’t have the cache that Broke Lesnar has, at least he has the same gigantism. Putting another giant mutant white guy in the main event isn’t going to save the PPV buy rate though. Vancouver ticket scalpers are facing a similar problem as the lack of Lesnar is making ticket values plummet. Good. Fuck the scalpers.

As for the actual fight, Carwin is a much better striker than Brock, so hopefully this turns into two really big men punching each other for a couple minutes until one falls down and can’t get up. Isn’t that what we hope for all our heavyweight bouts? Think Real Steel, but with two balding guys and no Hugh Jackman.

Kenny Florian (14-5, 11-4 UFC) vs. Diego Nunes (16-1, 1-0 UFC)
This is Kenny Florian’s debut at 145 pounds. This is Kenny Florian’s 4th weight class since he entered the UFC. That is fairly absurd, but when you figure he started as a small middleweight, it’s at least understandable. KenFlo’s been out of action for about 10 months now since Gray Maynard decisioned the shit out of him at UFC 118. A win over Nunes is supposed to earn him a shot at José Aldo’s belt. As for Nunes, no such guaruntee exists despite the fact that he’s 3-0 since losing to LC Davis in 2009. Probably because he lacks KenFlo’s rugged good looks and hasn’t finished a fight since signing with Zuffa in 2008.

Jon Olav Einemo (6-1, UFC Debut) vs. Dave Herman (20-2, UFC Debut)
/shrugs

Maybe the most head-scratching fight on the main card of a UFC PPV I can recall. Einemo was originally supposed to be Carwin’s opponent on Saturday. That he was given another opponent isn’t weird. That he hasn’t fought since November 12, 2006 against James Thompson. His one loss came against Fabricio Werdum at Pride 31 earlier that year. I assumed someone has had him cryogenically frozen for the last five years, but apparently he’s been training at Allistair Overeem’s gym and competing in grappling tournaments.

Herman is making his own debut, but to be fair, he’s had all twenty-two of his fights since Einemo’s last fight. 14 of Herman’s 20 wins have come via KO. Maybe this will be the Real Steel fight of the night?

Demian Maia (14-2, 8-2 UFC) vs. Mark Muñoz (10-2, 5-2 UFC)
Maia is awesome on the ground a Munoz is a wrestler. Maybe these guys stay on their feet, but Munoz says he isn’t afraid of taking Maia down. If he does, I’m rooting for the jitz to win out.

Donald Cerrone (14-3, 1nc, 1-0 UFC) vs. Vagner Rocha (6-1, UFC Debut)
Two submission guys to get the main card going. The real question is, does Cerrone hate Rocha? He never seems to like anyone, but I can’t imagine The Cowboy getting much personalized trash talk ready for a guy that lost to Bret Bergmark last summer. Exactly.

Here’s Countdown to UFC 131 in its entirety if you’re in the mood. It should be noted that Saturday’s preliminary bouts are available on both Facebook and YouTube.

PRELIMINARY CARD (Spike TV – 8pm E)
Yves Edwards vs. Sam Stout
Jesse Bongfeldt vs. Chris Weidman

PRELIMINARY CARD (Facebook / YouTube – 6:30pm E)
Mike Massenzio vs. Krzysztof Soszynski
James Head vs. Nick Ring
Dustin Poirier vs. Jason Young
Joey Beltran vs. Aaron Rosa
Darren Elkins vs. Michihiro Omigawa