Astros Fans Are Unhappy With Move, AL West Likely Delighted

"“I have hatred in my heart for the Cardinals and Cubs, and in that hatred was comfort. Now that’s all gone so that there can be an extra playoff team and rolling interleague play — these hardly seem like worthwhile reasons.”"

Rest easy, Jimmy, one of the few guarantees in life is that there’s always another intolerable asshole right around the corner. It may take a couple weeks into the 2013 season, maybe even a month, or perhaps it will sprout upon the first hit batsman, but you’ll find that hate and clutch onto it like an exasperated Dikembe Mutombo.

Unfortunately, the need for an NL team to move to the AL was inevitable and Bird Selig made the choice a rather easy one as he made it a condition of the sale to Crane. There are clear winners and losers in this equation, but I will leave the Astros out of it since, after finishing with a relatively disappointing record of 56-106, we already know which side of the tree they’re passed out under.

Winners: Everyone in the AL West, and why wouldn’t they be? From top to bottom it’s a victory. The Rangers, Angels, A’s and Mariners now get to suck on the giving teat that is the selfless Houston Astros. Also, Carlos Lee. The rotund slugger will welcome the DH slot in the same manner in which he hugs pepperoni pizza. Oooooor not, since his contract is up after the 2012 season.

Losers: Everyone in the NL Central. Yes, the division is now down to five teams, as it should be, but all they’ve ridden themselves of is a confidence-boosting hooker. Not exactly a game changer.

[Via Chron.com; photo via Getty]