Shaq Doesn’t Like To “Come Into The Party With His D–k Hard All The Time”
NBA February 28th. 2012, 3:20pm
Shaquille O’Neal recently took some time off from ruining TNT’s Inside The NBA to do an interview with VIBE. During the interview he gave himself a C- on his new job and discussed the work ethic his father instilled in him from a young age. Does it matter that the work ethic he constantly talks about flies in the face of how he approached most of his career? Here’s what he had to say about his second season in Miami when Pat Riley started demanding more:
He didn’t want you guys in “chill-out mode.”
Exactly. But I played better in chill-out mode. I don’t like to come into the party with my dick hard all the time. You have to pace yourself. How many times have you seen a team come out 9-0 and then don’t get close to winning a championship? I like to chill and then get into kill mode about 10 games before the Playoffs. It always worked for me, and I wasn’t going to change my method for no one. He wanted me to eat salad. I’m not going to do that.
That’s a beautiful way to think about it. And it sums up everyone’s main complaint about Shaquille O’Neal as a basketball player. Shaq would come into the season and play his way into shape. Instead of doing something in the offseason and not playing up to his potential while fans paid full price to see him, he saw it as being in “chill-out mode.” “Kill mode” = two trips down the court without gasping for air.
Later in the interview, he says he would average 45 points and 19 rebounds against the current crop of NBA centers. I’m not sure if that’s during his 72 games of chill-out mode or 10 games of kill mode. If that 45 and 19 is in chill-out mode then his kill mode today would be insane.

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56 Responses to “Shaq Doesn’t Like To “Come Into The Party With His D–k Hard All The Time””
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February 28th, 2012 at 3:21 PM
7 chipmunks twirlin’ on a branch, eatin’ lots of sunflowers on my uncle’s ranch. You know that old children’s tale from the sea. It’s like you’re dreamin’ about Gorgonzola cheese when it’s clearly Brie time, baby!
February 28th, 2012 at 3:22 PM
So has he been shitty on TV so far on purpose, with plans to start giving a shit right before the playoffs?
February 28th, 2012 at 3:24 PM
This pisses me off because there are thousands of people in broadcasting who would kick their grandmother all the way down I-95 for a chance to work on a show like that, and yet Shaq gets the job just because he’s Shaq. Same with basbeall, where “Oh, you played for a while” is more important than actual talent on air.
February 28th, 2012 at 3:27 PM
So it’s just that easy, huh? You get to kill mode in the preseason and then you’re good for 82 games plus 2 months of playoffs…don’t get burned out…injured…nothing. I’ll defer to Shaq on this one who put up 20+ and 10+ in “chill mode” and won championships.
February 28th, 2012 at 3:28 PM
C-Webb >>>>> Shaq on Inside the NBA. Last week when talking about the Knicks and Heat game at halftime, he said the Knicks should be feeling good since they were only down 4 or 5 points. Were you not watching the game? Do you not know what the score is?
February 28th, 2012 at 3:28 PM
During the interview he gave himself a C- on his new job
That’s grading on a curve or what?
He seems more interested in proving that he’s more Superman than Dwight Howard. Other than that, he’s flaccid.
February 28th, 2012 at 3:28 PM
Shaq needs a fluffer to do good TV
February 28th, 2012 at 3:30 PM
This relates to nothing but it is my favorite thing I’ve read on this site recently and I want it to memify: If winning is important to you, then I’m willing to bet you went to school that has a team that’s never been a winner.
February 28th, 2012 at 3:31 PM
C-Webb >>>>> Shaq on Inside the NBA
This — I actually don’t mind D3 either.
I still love how Shaq is married to Hoopz from Flavor of Love — “New York, Hoopz! Hoopz, New York!”
February 28th, 2012 at 3:31 PM
A real man would average 45/20, not that pussified 45/19.
February 28th, 2012 at 3:32 PM
If winning is important to you, then I’m willing to bet you went to school that has a team that’s never been a winner.
That was from the most hated coach thing right? Who said it?
February 28th, 2012 at 3:32 PM
Where did that come from?
February 28th, 2012 at 3:33 PM
C-Webb >>>>> Shaq on Inside the NBA
I’d rather have the Glove than C-Webb but either over Shaq works for me.
February 28th, 2012 at 3:35 PM
That was from the most hated coach thing right? Who said it?
Dammit, I closed the browser I had it in. It took me like 5 minutes to find it and I forgot who said it. That is the proper thread if you want to go back and find it. Was on page 12 when I got to it but that was a few minutes ago. Might be pushed back to page 18 by now
February 28th, 2012 at 3:37 PM
That’s because C-Webb gets buckets!
February 28th, 2012 at 3:37 PM
I like to call that the “Al Hrbosky”
February 28th, 2012 at 3:38 PM
Same with basbeall, where “Oh, you played for a while” is more important than actual talent on air.
every sport
February 28th, 2012 at 3:39 PM
his name was something like SabansHairpiece or something like that I am pretty sure.
February 28th, 2012 at 3:41 PM
Who does?
February 28th, 2012 at 3:42 PM
Why isn’t Shaq ever mentioned as a Huge BUST? Say what you will about Kobe and his doucheybag ways, if Shaq had a tenth of Kobe’s work ethic Shaq would have been the most dominant player ever. Not the “Best” since Michael Jordan owns the Media, but in reality he “COULD HAVE BEEN” which is always what people cry about when they talk about Busts. He should have had a minimum of 10 Rings.
Spare me the Russell talk. If Shaq played against White Guys that could barely reach his cock he would have won the Title every year… until he decided to make terrible Silent Movies.
February 28th, 2012 at 3:43 PM
Why isn’t Shaq ever mentioned as a Huge BUST?
Because it’s a patently absurd thing to say. I mean, that’s why I don’t ever say it but I cna’t really speak for everybody else.
February 28th, 2012 at 3:43 PM
The MVPs and championships perhaps.
February 28th, 2012 at 3:44 PM
His D–k
wtf is this? ic what’s going on here
February 28th, 2012 at 3:45 PM
I’m not sure if I’m more mesmerized by the random capitalization choices in that comment or by the fact that it’s by a guy with a Lemony Snicket’s username.
February 28th, 2012 at 3:45 PM
mumble, mumble, mumble
February 28th, 2012 at 3:46 PM
Terrelle Pryor is off the hook for his bustacular time at Ohio State.
February 28th, 2012 at 3:46 PM
It’s awesome how unresponsive this site has become in my Chrome. I pretty much have to close down my entire browser, wait 30 seconds and then re-launch the site whenever I want to refresh. Anyone have any suggestions? I’ll take my answers off the air.
/since it’ll take me 30 minutes to get back here and all
February 28th, 2012 at 3:46 PM
doucheybag
that’s how my kids say it
February 28th, 2012 at 3:48 PM
do you think riley literally wanted Shaq to eat salad?
February 28th, 2012 at 3:48 PM
Hey, vez, I’m interested in your baseballamerica username/password offer from earlier, how do I get in on that action?
February 28th, 2012 at 3:49 PM
Why isn’t Shaq ever mentioned as a Huge BUST?
You lose for the day
February 28th, 2012 at 3:49 PM
As a White Person, I too am mesmerized by the Capitalization.
February 28th, 2012 at 3:49 PM
BB: hitting ctrl + F5 has become habit for me at this site. Not sure if it will help your issue.
February 28th, 2012 at 3:51 PM
Thanks, I’ll try that from now on. I do it sometimes, but not always.
February 28th, 2012 at 3:52 PM
I think very few guys who were HOF players are great analysts. Jerry Rice is bad. Emmitt Smith was AWFUL. Magic is borderline AWFUL. Shannon Sharpe is bad, etc. There are some exceptions, but Emmitt was the crown jewel.
February 28th, 2012 at 3:52 PM
Hey, vez, I’m interested in your baseballamerica username/password offer from earlier, how do I get in on that action?
stark, email me and once i remember it/figure it out, i’ll send it
joebushwriter@gmail.com
February 28th, 2012 at 3:53 PM
It’s awesome how unresponsive this site has become in my Chrome.
Top 2 “Fuck You, Reader, You’ll Come To Our Site No Matter How Shitty The User Experience” Online Properties
March 2012
1. Big Lead Sports by FSV
2. ESPN
February 28th, 2012 at 3:53 PM
Why isn’t Shaq ever mentioned as a Huge BUST?
Because he wasn’t a bust. The Magic got a Finals shot with him and the Lakers and Heat got rings out of him (the Suns and Cavs got leftovers, so they don’t count).
Being drafted #1 doesn’t indicate you will maximize your talents or potential. It’s about your ability to deliver for your team. Shaq did. Whether he should have done more, it’s open to debate, but not something that should be counted in the “bust or not” question.
February 28th, 2012 at 3:54 PM
Bigger bust, Shaq, or Hector Savage?
February 28th, 2012 at 3:54 PM
braun’s collector issued a statement today. it’s postworthy somewhere
February 28th, 2012 at 3:57 PM
Not the “Best” since Michael Jordan owns the Media,
Careful with that, lots of Jordan lovers here. Not me.
February 28th, 2012 at 3:58 PM
stark, email me and once i remember it/figure it out, i’ll send it
joebushwriter@gmail.com
Enjoy your daily Hammacher-Schlemmer catalog email.
February 28th, 2012 at 3:59 PM
I want that wall sized crossword puzzle.
February 28th, 2012 at 4:01 PM
I just read the Awful Announcing piece of the NHL trade deadline coverage and saw that Bloguin had a major outage because of all the hockey blog traffic.
And Duffy said there was no blog interest in it.
Fuck you Duffy.
February 28th, 2012 at 4:02 PM
Magic and Emmitt Smith are tied in a dead heat for awfulness.
February 28th, 2012 at 4:02 PM
Enjoy your daily Hammacher-Schlemmer catalog email.
My college friends signed me up for a bunch of Kung Fu magazines. Inside Kung-Fu was a great read.
February 28th, 2012 at 4:03 PM
Not here. We’re busy playing hangman.
I’m gonna guess ‘O’?
0
—
/
February 28th, 2012 at 4:05 PM
Didn’t he fight under the name Kid Cincinatti?
February 28th, 2012 at 4:06 PM
So Duffy isn’t a trendsetter?
/ throws necklace away
February 28th, 2012 at 4:06 PM
All I know is, never bet on the white guy.
February 28th, 2012 at 4:07 PM
A magazine like that, I’d at least hope that Count Dante wrote a guest column.
February 28th, 2012 at 4:07 PM
Unless it’s to succeed in the NFL after a poor performance at the NFL combine
/earlier
February 28th, 2012 at 4:12 PM
Enjoy your daily Hammacher-Schlemmer catalog email.
I want that wall sized crossword puzzle.
battery-powered masters degree for me please
February 28th, 2012 at 4:15 PM
All I know is, never bet on the white guy.
Unless it’s to succeed in the NFL after a poor performance at the NFL combine
/earlier
two words to blow up your theory
bee bee
February 28th, 2012 at 5:07 PM
I don’t think Shaq understands the distinction between someone who has a PhD and someone who is an actual doctor.
February 28th, 2012 at 5:57 PM
Not really sure what to say about the “Shaq is a bust” thing – pretty sure Wilt could reach Russell’s cock pretty easily if that’s what he was into. Hell, w/o hookers and booze Babe Ruth might’ve hit 1000 home runs – who the hell knows? What I do know is that Shaq’s individual and team trophy cases are pretty full.