Fred Smoot Got Arrested for DUI, Then Peed His Pants in the Police Station, Creating a Puddle on the Floor

"“During processing, in the service area, while handcuffed, the [defendant] peed his pants creating a puddle on the floor,” Carll said in the affidavit. “[A police officer] witnessed the urine running down his pant leg and onto the floor. [Smoot] did not express that he had to use the restroom."

It could be worse, Fred. You could have been talking to a dude on the phone for a year, thinking you were talking to a girl. [Washingtonian via Steinberg]