Cheryl Cole, because she kicked her husband out of the house … confession in Natalee Holloway’s death? … republicans will want to steer clear of this one … do Lost and Heroes hate black people? … town in California now charging money to call 911 … good profile of Krugman in the New Yorker … the postal service is “running out of cash” … “Wall Street’s bailout hustle” (great read) … former figure skater Brian Boitano has a show on the food network … Lindsay Lohan talks about her drug-addled history … Scientology turns the tables on the St. Pete Times … Bar Refaeli by the pool … JMU needs to pull the plug on this Snooki speech … a white sorority won a step competition … that is a HUGE dog …

Martin Brodeur out as Canada’s goalie tonight vs Germany, Roberto Luongo in. (USA Today)

Who is going to televise the Olympics from 2014-2016? (Sports Business Journal)

UConn upsets West Virginia, which should move them off the bubble – for now, at least – and into the NCAA tournament. (Courant)

Johnny Damon and Scott Boras can spin this Tigers’ signing all they want, but they lost. (Bergen Record)

Tessa Virtue wins a gold in ice dancing, and probably the hearts of male viewers everywhere. (NYDN)

While college hoops pollsters aren’t nearly as clueless as their college football brethren, how does this guy have Illinois 12th? (Pollspeak)

The real reason Brandon Marshall wants out of Denver? The 2007 death of Darrent Williams. (Post)

Turn back the horse racing clock: Silver Charm. (Zipse at the Track)

Olympic drinking crackdown on Saturday: “Police made 15 arrests for public intoxication compared with 27 Friday night, while the number of ‘liquor pour-outs’ dropped to about 800 from 1,600.” (Sun)

Found this strangely funny – video of a woman in a thong crushing a watermelon between her legs. (Videogum)

Next, someone will do one of these about LeBron leaving Cleveland.

If you’re not planning on spending the evening at BK, there’s an NBA double-header on ESPN tonight. Kobe tries to bounce back from a rough outing against the Cavs as the Lakers visit the Knicks. After that, its Chicago in Phoenix. There’s probably also some hockey and tennis on some channels that I’m not going to look up for you. You’ve got a cable guide – use it.

Of course, Conan O’Brien’s last night as the host of the Tonight Show is, well, tonight. Where does Conan go next? Will anyone watch him when he comes back? Does anyone really care? These are questions that won’t be answered tonight. You will see Tom Hanks, Will Ferrell and Neil Young on the show tonight though, so that’s something. Ferrell was the first guest during Conan’s hosting stint. And he’s been known to appear on Conan’s show in character.

Come back tomorrow for more fun. As usual, a bunch of different people will be here – including me! E-mail addresses can be found over there. Finally, in honor of Sean Salibury, I’ll leave you with The League’s Jon Lajoie. Be safe out there tonight kids. Make sure to call a cab if you go to Burger King.

Fun with headlines: “Noah ready to bang.” Makes us think of this. And this. (Basketbawful)

Who wants to buy a corked bat that was used by Robin Yount? (Monozygotic)

Anyone going to the upcoming wedding of Clay Buchholz and the Deal or Not Deal model? (Globe)

Who “horses around” with Adrian Peterson? Somebody trying to prove something, obviously. (Fox Sports)

Fifty years ago yesterday, the goalie mask in hockey was born. (Star)

Props to ESPN’s Colleen Dominguez for some fantastic reporting on this Tom Cable story. (Outside the Lines)

In 2002, the Eagles called Troy Aikman to see if he wanted to come out of the booth to play QB. (LA Times)

Houston tight end Owen Daniels is done for the season; adjust your fantasy lineup accordingly. (Chronicle)

Longtime sports columnist Jim Reeves retires from the Star-Telegram. (S-T)

The latest verbal dig at Brooke Hundley, of Steve Phillips fame: “pudgy paramour.” (Page 6)

100 things restaurant staffers should never do. (NYT)

Dwyane Wade became the 1st Miami Heat player to reach the 10,000 point mark in last night’s win over Chicago. (Herald)

This seems absurd: A Miami Hurricanes player has scored each week in the NFL since week 15, 2002? (Twitter)

Nate Clements may have played his last game as a 49er. (Press Democrat)

Title talk embarrasses Chuck.

Ryan Newman walked away from this unscathed.

It was a bad weekend for the refs: Major pass interference completely missed on that final play between Dallas and Denver. (Landry Hat)

Washington fans with some visual evidence that Notre Dame’s 2-point conversion should not have counted. (Hot Dog and Friends)

Nice read about how plenty of NBA players went back to college this summer. (NYT)

“SEC admitted that its officials made the wrong call on the unsportsmanlike conduct penalty called on Georgia wide receiver A.J. Green late in the Bulldogs’ loss to LSU Saturday.” (AJC)

Everybody looking forward to this Billy Beane sex scene with a waitress from Outback Steakhouse? (Game of Inches)

Albert Belle: “How can you manage when you’ve got no players?” He’s talking about the Tribe. (Plain Dealer)

NBA players like the EPL! (Unprofessional Foul)

The sad tale of former Atlanta Falcons QB Randy Johnson. (AJC)

Whew. Good thing David Lee passed on the Blazers for the Knicks. (NY Post)

If you’ve ever wondered if there was a map with every single McDonald’s in the lower 48 … wonder no more. (NYT)

Lane Kiffin kicks a former All-American off the Vols squad. (Times Free-Press)

An interview with the guy who videotaped that couple having sex in a bathroom at Cowboys Stadium. (Audio)

Look at the “fan” located directly between both news guys. Then, look at his t-shirt.

It is fun to talk about, but Eric Berry isn’t winning the Heisman.

And laugh at you, too. At least it appears that way to us (1:25 mark and right after he signs the sandwich). You’re famous, kid! See you on Cold Pizza First Take! 14:59, 14;58, 14:57 … [Packs of the People]

If you’re feeling lightheaded afterward, the champagne room is a delightful place to relax.

Like overmatched offensive lineman against Kris Jenkins, we’ll be triple-teaming the weekend with CRM and Sports Hernia. The plan is to provide the usual assortment of Gameday screen grabs, wacky videos, and staggeringly bad football picks (how do Virginia Tech and Alabama sound?).

Jeff Fisher is mad. Controversy for ESPNBoston.com! Houston … we have some good news. We may have a movie post on Extract for tomorrow.

“Here’s McLovin, the 25-year-old Hawaiian organ donor.”

After the jump, a reader sent in gif that was made for busy Fridays: Sportsnation’s Michelle Beadle eating a hot dog.

Weekend plans: If you stop by the site and we’re down, fear not – it’s the server changeover. We’ll try to minimize downtime, but these things take some time. If you’re in the northeast, try to stay dry. To all: This will be your last weekend without college football. Spend it with your wife/girlfriend because very soon, you’re weekends will be consumed with college and pro football. We’ll leave you with a smattering of links:

- The struggles of Bill Belichick’s coaching tree
- Douchy Rob Dibble blocked someone on his twitter, and they’re upset
- What’s the deal with the 5-man rotation?

And what better way to end the week than with Tim Tebow in the New York Times?

This ‘Things we Miss About Basketball’ list is outstanding – except they didn’t need to force in the WNBA stuff. (SI)

Rutgers will be short a guard this season – Corey Chandler has been booted from the team. (Fox Sports)

We don’t believe this female shot putter ran a 14.23 in the 100m. (Metro UK)

A weed possession (not even 28 grams?) isn’t enough to keep Ohio State’s 3rd-string RB off the team. (Plain Dealer)

Regis is a Florida Marlins fan? (AP)

Yang beating Tiger was good for golf. Ratings were very strong. (Bergen Record, NYT)

Joe Mauer’s biggest fan shows what the Twins catcher needs to do to hit .400 this season. The Twins catcher socked two homers last night in a comeback win over the Rangers. (JP)

The ‘ol taped-to-the-goalposts hazing at Redskins park. (Redskins Blog)

Ving Rhames showed up at Steelers camp. James Harrison was smitten. (CBS Sports)

Las Vegas, if you hadn’t heard, is in dire straits. (Time)

Zaza Pachulia is the proud owner of a restaurant and wine bar in Atlanta. (Global Atlanta)

Carmelo Anthony’s suing his former business partner. (Denver Post)

Video: David Stern and William Rhoden talking hoops in a Harlem barbershop. (NYT)

via Hot Clicks

Britney Spears looks hot again.

There’s a moral obligation to bring you that video every six months.