First it was our own CRM getting a perm to honor the great Jack Sikma, now Ron Artest has dyed his hair is some sort of dual tribute to Dennis Rodman and Sisqo. According to Artest and his barber, Boogie, this is just a one time look. The purple lettering on his heads apparently says “defense” in three different areas, in three different languages: Hebrew, Japanese and Hindi. I’m pretty sure Dikembe Mutombo is the only person able to read all three versions without a cheat sheet.

Since you were dying to hear more about it, here’s the incomparable Boogie:

If there was one player I could bowl with in the NBA — and since Mutombo has retired — it would have to be the Birdman, even though his hair has tragically fallen down. One more after the jump.

This is the kind of form and poise that gets you 6 animated points and 6 violent rebounds a game.

The Nuggets bowl for a good cause at Lucky Strike [metromix denver]

Him and his mystifying perm originally filed for bankruptcy back in June. His wife, Babette, which is easily the greatest name you’ll hear all day, is still owed about $3 million from a divorce settlement.

Through this story, I’ve also learned that a Bernie Kosar Google search is quite a humbling experience.

Bernie Kosar’s Assets Will Be Sold Off in Bankruptcy [Business Week]

It happened again. Egypt needed at least a 2-0 win to keep their World Cup chances alive.  Leading Algeria 1-0 in the 95th minute, Egypt’s Emad Mateab scored, giving the necessary result.  Egypt and Algeria now faceoff in a neutral site playoff in Sudan on Wednesday. Unlike the nearly identical match 20 years ago, the Algerians hurled no potted plants into the VIP section.  No Egyptian staff members were maimed.  Though, they do believe FIFA should have postponed the match.

Elsewhere in Africa, the Super Eagles of Nigeria overcame a two-point deficit on the last day to earn a place in South Africa ahead of the Carthage Eagles of Tunisia.  Cameroon’s Indomitable Lions, as opposed to Detroit’s quite domitable ones, clinched the third outstanding African spot, with a 2-0 win over Morocco.

In the playoffs, Rory Fallon scored in the 45th minute, sending New Zealand’s All Whites to their first World Cup in 28 years, beating Bahrain 1-0.  Nicolas Anelka deflected an away goal for France, giving them a 1-0 win at Croque Park.  Ireland, whipped into a fury, must now revert tactics to score two at Stade de France.

Portugal withstood the Bosnian assault to take a 1-0 lead at home.  Bilyaletdinov dropped a deuce for Russia, but they left themselves vulnerable as Slovenia slipped a late away goal.  Shockingly, Greece-Ukraine finished 0-0.  Uruguay won 1-0 away at Costa Rica, leaving them heavy favorites heading into the home leg.

David Beckham’s handlers must have known iconic MLS imagery was imminent, as they picked the ideal time to unleash his bitchin’ new haircut.  The Galaxy scored two goals in extra time to beat Houston, winning the Western Conference.  Real Salt Lake, members of the Western Conference, beat the Chicago Fire 5-4 on penalties to win the Eastern Conference.  In a strategy destined for ratings glory, the league will throw down a gauntlet to King NFL, playing the Cup Final this Sunday.

The wonderful thing about FIFA punishments is that they come months later, forcing unsavory incidents into the media mixer twice.  After a series of heated lunches, the sport’s governing body decided that, yes, it was inappropriate for Diego Maradona to suggest assembled journalists “take it up the arse,” grab his crotch and tell the media to “suck it and keep sucking.”  FIFA banned the Argentine legend for two months.  He can return to formal involvement with soccer on Jan. 15.

Midseason international friendlies are irrelevant and pointless, the perfect time to trot out your elite talent.  Robin Van Persie has started brilliantly for Arsenal, eight goals and eight assists in 14 appearances.  Within 15 minutes of taking the field against Italy, he had his ankle crunched.  Arsenal are now lucky his ankle ligament is partially rather than fully torn, meaning he will miss seven weeks rather than three months.  Cue the Der Untergang parody.

The U.S. will shift things up ahead of Wednesday’s friendly with Denmark.  Bob Bradley has called up former Mexican defender Edgar Castillo into the squad.  Though, Castillo will not team up with fellow Mexican-leaguer Jose Francisco Torres who had to leave the team for personal reasons.

Goal of the Weekend: Marouane Fellaini (Belgium) vs. Hungary

Sports and the jheri curl, through the years. (No Guts, No Glory)

A few fans got kicked out of the bleachers at Wrigley yesterday for saying “Milton Bradley sucks.” (ESPN Chicago)

Maybe Jamal Lewis turning 30 will be good for his career. (ABJ)

Mushnick likes something! It’s Vin Scully. (NY Post)

Fantasy football tips: “Be sure to make an arrest joke after the first Bengal is drafted, because that will be funny.” (The Sports Hernia)

Sure seems like Patrick Kane and his cousin got off easy for beating the crap out of that cab driver in Buffalo. (Trib)

This one’s sad: Two students at Virginia Tech are shot and killed off-campus. The University has had a tough 30-month run in regard to killings. (Roanoke News)

You’ll spend some time here. (People of Wal-Mart)

Sounds like Oregon and Boise State loathe one another. Hatred always makes for a fun season opener. (Register Guard)

From Dustin Pedroia’s book – he started dropping F-bombs at age 7. (Red Sox Monster)

Didn’t get a chance to get this into yesterday’s roundup: RIP Dominick Dunne. (Vanity Fair)

Somalia has the worst crisis in Africa, which is saying something.  Dick Cheney, Gay Marriage advocate?  The Iranians will receive Fourth of July invitations. Who steals rabbits? Do media people understand that no one is on twitter at 8:00 AM?

British man tweeting while jogging, ran into tree. (Telegraph)

Richard Deitsch returns from his Ann Arbor sabbatical with his Media Power Rankings. (Sports Illustrated)

Wayne Gretzky could lose $9.3 million if Basille’s bid to move the Coyotes to Canada fails. (TSN)

Well, here is one reason you may want to switch over to bing. (FoxNews)

Dennis Rodman is going to rehab, but to make money and draw attention to himself. (The Big Picture)

Could Dwight Howard be the next Peyton Manning (CNBC)

Preview of Joe Buck’s New Show: “The hidden secret of Joe Buck, for those of us who have been around him and seen him perform at the Sports Emmys every year” (Sports Business Journal)

Finally, the explanation for why Connecticut sucks. (Red Sox Monster)

Staten Island kid sent home for shaving half his head. (SILive)

Man United have a handyman on call to change players’ lightbulbs for them. (Mirror)

Time to put David Ortiz out of his misery? (Boston Herald)

Gladwell argues that we overvalue individual agency in success.  Many have the raw ability to be standout successful.  Those that succeed most often have fortunate circumstances.  In the conversation, Simmons contributes the wrinkle of “Inliers,” people with greatness potential thwarted by their environment.  These ideas can be applied easily to sports.

Tim Duncan is primarily boring, but also a great basketball player, a phenomenon with five rings.  The Spurs’ forward obviously has talent, but he had uniquely advantageous circumstances to flourish with it.

Duncan joined a good Spurs team, submarined for a season by David Robinson’s injury.  Robinson was an ideal teammate.  He nurtured Duncan, and deflected the pressure on and off the court.  He has had the same coach, Gregg Popovich, subsequently proven to be one of the best of all time.  Duncan also had arguably the best front office in basketball, supplying him with supporting talent from later slots in the draft.

Tim Duncan benefitted from a unique cluster of advantages that Spurred his success.  Had his potential been entrusted to the Celtics with Rick Pitino and Antoine Walker, he becomes a different player.

The ideas work for success, but also perception of success.  Look at John Kruk.

His constructive value as an analyst at ESPN not withstanding, John Kruk could hit.  His average season during a mostly pitcher friendly era was a .300 batting average, a .400 on base percentage, and a .450 slugging percentage despite no power.  His adjusted OPS+ at his peak ranged between 125 to 150.

Contemporaries thought Kruk a good player.  He made three all-star teams, but was not someone who garnered MVP votes.

If Kruk debuts 15 years later, people perceive him differently.  Playing in more hitter friendly ballparks, his numbers receive a slight boost.  In the post Moneyball era, baseball fans and GMs value his lofty on base percentage higher.  He becomes a bigger, wealthier star.  His personality makes him marketable, so he gets in shape, cuts his hair normally and, in a cancer conscious era, cools it with the chewing tobacco.

People now would realize Kruk had a better OPS compared to his contemporaries than Jim Rice.  He missed his prime era.

In one season, Paul Pierce converted in the mind from idling malcontent to man with the “heart of a champion.€Â  Did Pierce mature rapidly or just feature himself better in winning surroundings?

Discounting agency from greatness entirely would be stupid.  The hall of fame is not the hall of the lucky, unless your name is Tony Perez.  But, with Gladwellian notions in hand, we should consider Tracy McGrady a bit differently.

Ok, You Can Make Fun of Ohio (Yep Yep)