Of course, by “mixed” I mostly mean (for the most part) “piss poor.” With all these pretenders and wannabes thinking they can either stay relevant or actually compete there comes a philosophical issue for the people in charge of major MMA promotions like the UFC and Strikeforce – “Do we take advantage of someone who has no business competing at the highest level to help ratings and make money? Or do we say no and continue to look like a professional organization?” Its the kind of stuff I climbed on a soap box and audibly feared two years ago.

Brock Lesnar is the exception that proves the rule. After a stellar career at the University of Minnesota, failing to catch on with the Minnesota Vikings and becoming a superstar in the WWE, Brock Lesnar turned his focus to MMA. When Dana White gave Lesnar a shot, it was against a former – and future – UFC Heavyweight Champion in Frank Mir. Lesnar lost his debut, but the foundation was set. He was a monster of a man and a freak athlete. From there he won his next 4 fights including a rematch against Mir.

Kevin Freguson played football at the University of Miami and became famous because of internet clips of his brutal backyard, parking lot and underground brawls. As his legend grew, people wondered if he could be the same force inside a cage with a referee watching. He signed with Elite XC where he never did anything notable and eventually lost a fight in front of the biggest audience to ever watch a mixed martial arts event in history. Results be damned, people wanted to watch Kimbo Slice. Now he’s in the UFC – a place Dana White said he would never be.

Bobby Lashley has followed the Lesnar plan. A former collegiate wrestler and Olympic hopeful, Lashley made a name for himself in professional wrestling. Another physical freak, Lashley worked his way through smaller promotions before finally signing with Strikeforce. There are still questions about Lashley’s ability as he hasn’t fought any of the top-tier heavyweights under contract with Strikeforce. That doesn’t look like it’ll be changing anytime soon.

Jose Canseco has been a freak show since he was still playing baseball. We all know the dumb shit he’s done since then, including fighting the 7-foot 2-inch, 320 pound, Hong Man Choi.

Herschel Walker turned to MMA in his late 40’s and won his debut on the main portion of a Strikeforce card on Showtime. It was one hell of an achievement for someone his age, but what purpose did it serve? A future possible fight for Walker could be – wait for it – Jose Canseco.

Former Detroit Lion Johnnie Morton took a shot at MMA a few years back. It was the lat time anyone heard from Johnnie Morton outside a Ty Duffy post.

Ray Mercer is a former heavyweight boxing champ. Mercer knocked out Tim Sylvia is a pseudo-exhibition-boxing-kickboxing fight. Sylvia was just a couple short years removed from the UFC Heavyweight Championship. Sylvia is the same guy who wouldn’t tap when Frank Mir broke his arm.

This brings us to James Toney, a 41-year-old boxer who hasn’t been relevant since… I don’t know. You’d have to ask someone that follows boxing. Closely.

Presumably taking inspiration from Ray Mercer, Toney decided he wanted to fight in the UFC so he started making unintelligible YouTube videos and following Dana White around. Eventually, White caved. No one knows for sure why he decided to give a washed up boxer a chance (Strikeforce was interested in signing him, he was afraid he would sit on him, no one knows), but he did, signing Toney to fight sometime later this year.  Of course, that didn’t mean the dumb videos would stop.

So what does this all mean? What place does this have in the biggest organizations in MMA? Japan-based fight organizations have held fights that you’d consider freak show fights alongside legitimate bouts for years. It’s a thin gray line, a fence that’s being straddled and whatever other metaphor you can think of for something that makes you shrug your shoulders.

Can the sport continue to grow at this pace if these – for lack of a better term – interesting match ups aren’t scheduled alongside high-level competition? Or has MMA hit a glass ceiling where everyone that will watch is watching? What if this is the only way to get new people interested. Could this be the sports world’s version of jumping the shark?

The truth is, fans hear about these signings and they shake their heads. What the hell is James Toney doing in the UFC? Herschel Walker doesn’t deserve to be part of the main card of a freaking Strikeforce event. This is ridiculous! In fact, its the exact same stuff I was railing against two years ago.

And then we tune in to see the train wreck. I watch and so does everyone else. While I recognize the audacity of these signings, I’ve grown enough to not be pointlessly offended by them. MMA has more in common with professional wrestling than some people want to believe. Spectacle is an important part of the show and these fights provide that.

Not every fight on every card is going to have a title implications. We’re already treated to fights that are simply made to be entertaining, these fights are just an extension of that. So if the UFC and Strikeforce want to keep signing these guys who serve no purpose but to draw new eyes, that’s their prerogative. Its our job as the spectator to know the difference and if there are a couple few million dummies simply watching to see Jose Canseco and Herschel Walker compete in celebrity kickboxing, so be it.

Scott Van Pelt dropped an F-bomb on Sportscenter last night heading into commercial, and then had to apologize. Tough week for that guy. [Deadspin]

Kim Yu-Na of Korea won the Gold in Figure Skating last night; Joannie Rochette of Canada, the girl who everyone was rooting for, earned bronze. [USA Today, Star]

A look at some of the top speeds that athletes have generated at the Olympics. [WSJ]

Dave Eggers on newspapers: “I don’t know what I would do without a daily newspaper. I don’t enjoy it online the same way. It’s too chaotic.” [Chicago Tribune]

Fernando Rossi, the father of budding Italy national team star Giuseppe has passed away. Our first newspaper assignment, a decade ago this Fall, was covering one of his games. [Soccer by Ives]

Blogger who used to be a columnist shuts down the comments section on his blog. [Dwight Jaynes]

Bill Simmons can tweet to his heart’s content about Bud Selig. [The Arena]

Walt Frazier’s doing good things in St. Croix. [NYT]

Beef between the NCAA and Focus on Family? [Sparty & Friends]

Whitlock weighs in on the Kornheiser-Storm-ESPN situation. [Fox Sports]

Hey Baseball Prospectus, wake up! [Rays Index]

Boner, who was Mike Seaver’s friend on Growing Pains, was found dead in Vancouver. [Sun]

Is the naked Liddell video a Reebok ad? [TMZ]

And there’s our biggest TV mention to date.

Around the :55 second mark, you’ll probably laugh.

Ovechkin isn’t a good loser.

This appears to be Chuck Liddell and his girlfriend, Heidi Northcott, working out naked, presumably in his home. Whomever filmed the nude couple – paparazzi? Psychotic fan? Michael Barrett? – at least had the courtesy to blur out Liddell’s package. Nude sports-figures – Greg Oden, Erin Andrews, Santonio Holmes, George Hill – are the new black.

[The Rumble, @UrijahFaber]

This is a pretty nice look at the career arch of the G.O.A.T. Thanks to Bad Left Hook via. In tenuously related news, Herschel Walker won his MMA debut last night. It wasn’t the most impressive showing – his opponent looked like he was taken from Kramer’s karate class – but Walker deserves props for getting out there and taking care of business. (Video part 1 and 2.) We should all be so lucky to be such monsters at 47.

Of course, the unquestionable highlight of Strikeforce’s night was Robbie Lawlers epic comeback against Melvin Manoef.

Strikeforce – giving fans legitimate talent and fun fights with crazy sideshows since the late ’00’s!

Two championship belts are on the line – and one belongs to a woman. (Just like women to fight over a belt, am I right!?) Maybe you remember over the summer when Cris “Cyborg” Santos decided to break something pretty and won the first ever Strikeforce women’s 145-pound title. Well, Cyborg is back to defend that title against Marloes Coenen who is on an impressive 1-fight win streak. That ought to end in pain.

Nick Diaz will put his welterweight title on the line against Marius Zaromskis. Both of these guys are on five fight win streaks and neither has seen a decision in that time. If you ask me, this screams of a fight everybody is excited about that doesn’t quite live up to the hype. Not that there’s that much hype. I like this one to go the distance with Diaz getting his arm raised in victory!

Melvin Manhoef will fight Robbie Lawler in a fight that will somehow have an impact on something. If nothing else, it should be exciting for the first minute or so before Lawler takes Manhoef down. If you don’t have Showtime, but want to see some violence, you can check out Jay Hieron and Joe Riggs live on EASports.com at 9:05pm Eastern. EA is releasing a new MMA video game, so that’s why that “makes sense.”

Then there’s the freakshow portion of the card. And then there’s 25-year-old Greg Nagy fighting 47-year-old Herschel Walker. I honestly don’t know what to say about this. I guess if you were ever going to order Showtime for a single night to see something different, tomorrow would be that night.

Finally, there’s former professional wrestler, Bobby Lashley and TUF 10: Heavyweights contestant Wes Sims. Given one week to get ready for his role as sacrificial lamb Sims is pretty optimistic. Of course, he’s also kind of nutty. Lashley is 4-0 so far in his real fight career and this will be the first time most of us are going to see him fight. (Not counting youtubes!) At least Sims is prepared.

Every week The Sports Hernia and Cousins of Ron Mexico will recap the top 5 stories of the week. They are listed by importance, humor and relevance with a high degree of historical perspective in mind. Mostly, we’ll be reviewing the stuff TBL has run into the ground over the last few days, but sometimes a story slips through the cracks.

Here’s last week’s list.

1. J-E-T-S, Jets! Jets! Jets!
TSH: The possibility of two more weeks of Jets coverage following Sunday’s game is completely revolting, particularly because the New York Post will be printing five editions per day. Then again, it might all be worth it to see Rex Ryan happily yucking it up with reporters while grilling hot dogs and drinking Bud Light cans on media day. Someday, him, Don Nelson and happy hour needs to happen.

CRM: Really?

2. AskMen.com’s 99 Most Desirable Women of 2010
CRM: So many things wrong with these dumb lists. #95 #93 #92 #86 #85!? #79 #55 #51 #40!?!? #36!? #23!? #21 #14 #13!? Notice how the Staff Rankings are completely out of whack with the public rankings. Its like the BCS, but much more ridiculous.

TSH: I’ve just learned that #95 was voted “Most Likely To Host A Talk Show” in her high school yearbook. Please hire a horse to hoof kick me in the face immediately.

3. Celebrity Sex Rehab With Tiger Woods
TSH: Another chapter to Tiger’s legend. This whole thing will eventually be looked as hilarious and triumphant by the same people who are currently destroying him.

CRM: My favorite part of this story is everyone reacting to Tiger’s wardrobe (shorts and a sweatshirt) like he’s a bum. I don’t care how rich you are, comfy is comfy. After that, just let the guy fuck and golf. Let the wife go and start at 99 on the Ask Men list and work your way down.

4. The Curtain Closes on Jersey Shore
CRM: We hardly knew ye, Sitch. I think follow-up reality shows are a possibility for each and every one of these people – and I’m excited about that. This is not one of those things where the sum of the parts is a greater value. Do I want to see Pauly D work with Diddy? Yes. Do I want to watch Snookie host a boardwalk dance party? Yes. Do I want to watch JWoww struggle with the decision to do porn or do porn tomorrow? Yes.

TSH: Is it Snookie’s beef curtains that are closing? Because that’s a must. Seriously, she looks like Garfield with a wig. As for the show, the latest from the rumor mill is that the second season (and the seasons thereafter) will have a few new cast members to go along with a few from the original. Is there any question The Situation will become the modern day Eric Nies?

5. Brock Lesnar Is Alive and Well
TSH: The title of this one reminds me of the time Paul Bearer darkly explained that “Kane is aliiiiiive!” He was right. But the news on Lesnar’s health is tremendous. And right now he’s livid. I like it.

CRM: Lesnar and Dana White went on SportsCenter this week and told us that the heavyweight champ is now healthy and would return to the octagon this summer to defend his title. Rumor has it Brock lost 60 pounds while he was sick. I wonder if he ever walked by a mirror and muttered “pencil neck” before realizing it was himself and breaking down? Anyway, look for Mir-Lesnar III when the weather is warm.

Honorable Mentions
Two teams from obscure states have somehow managed to hang on, the scrappy Saints and the low-profile Vikings … Wade Phillips lives … Big Game Norv’s asinine deal … MacGruber’s red band trailer… A bunch of fucking HATS!

Query of the Week
How many of you are currently commenting from the shitter?

McAllister, whose NFL career likely is done because of knee injuries he suffered during his Saints career, gets to be a part of the playoff team – including the designated players’ share of $21,000 for the game – and gets to finish on a high note. Physically, he couldn’t compete for a roster spot in New Orleans this season, leaving the all-time leading rusher and touchdown scorer in franchise history on the outside looking in as the Saints prepared for their most successful regular season.

I love this move. McAllister is beloved in New Orleans and now he could possibly get a ring in the city that loves him. Of course, they’ve got to get past Kurt Warner and the Cards and then win two more big games for that to happen, but what a sweet story it is.

That’s all for today. A hodgepodge of blogging bloggers will be around this weekend to guide you through the Divisional Round of the National Football League playoffs. As usual, access our e-mail accounts using the list to your right. One tip – don’t expect to see TBL early tomorrow, he’ll be out late celebrating Hat Day. As you can imagine, things get a little crazy in the McIntyre home on major holidays like this.

If you’re not going to have a more reserved evening at home, there’s an NBA double-header on ESPN, the Jersey Shore kids visit the Staples Center and The Best of Pride debuts on SpikeTV at 10. (Sample below) Also, The Wrestler is on HBO and Bankok Dangerous is on Showtime. Damn. Even I’m considering skipping the Hat Day festivities.

Real life got in the way as the clock ticked closer to midnight on New Year’s, so we pushed the Top 5 post back a couple weeks. It’s not like you forgot 2009 already, right? Here to help me review the year is former TBL intern and Daily Kansan editor, Stephen Montemayor. Shirtless men ahead…

2009 Fighter of the Year
CRM – If BJ Penn would forget about GSP at 170-pounds and stuck to kicking the shit out of lightweights, he’d be my pick, but ball don’t lie and neither does a beating like GSP put on BJ back in January. If GSP had notions of moving up to 185 to fight Anderson Silva, then he wouldn’t look quite as good. There’s a lesson in there for all of us.

Another guy that deserves some props is Dan Henderson. When he first came to the Octagon, he lost two title unification bouts. Since then he’s won three straight including two in 2009. He squeaked out a decision over Rich Franklin and embarrassed Michael Bisping. Now he’s gone to Strikeforce where he’ll get to fight some interesting new guys. That’s at least worth mentioning.

Then there’s Strikeforce Light Heavyweight champion Gegard Mousasi. Gegard fought 4 times in 2009 and finished every single fight. Three knockouts, a submission and he only went to the second round once. It was a great mainstream debut for the Dutch-American highlight film. (Can that be his nickname?)

My pick however, will be WEC Featherweight champion, Jose Aldo.  who also won 4 fights (4 KO’s), a title and only saw the second frame once in 2009. He had one of the most impressive finishes of the year when he served Cub Swanson a double-flying knee seconds into their fight that left quite the mark. Then he took Mike Brown’s belt – no small feat when you consider what Urijah Faber went through in his attempt. His reward for a stellar year? Faber in the WEC’s first ever PPV.

Montemayor – Anderson Silva demoralized Forrest Griffin in his return to light heavyweight but his recent middleweight title defenses have left a little to be desired.

We also have to consider Fedor Emilianenko. He began the year by slaying — yes, slaying, look at this picture or this picture and tell me it doesn’t look like Emilianenko just pierced the heart of a furry, half-man/half-vampire character. And during Strikeforce’s CBS debut, Emilianenko notched an equally-impressive knockout victory against Brett Rogers but Rogers gave Emilianenko more than a few fits.

Lyoto Machida captured the light heavyweight belt — and Joe Rogan’s heart…the hyperbolic Rogan exclamed, “Welcome to the Machida Era!” after The Dragon’s KO of Rashad Evans at UFC 98 — and even defended it for once. Trouble is, his unanimous decision victory against Mauricio “Shogun” Rua is a subject of high controversy as many feel Rua got the best of Machida at UFC 104.

Refer to the temporarily-crushed airways of Kenny Florian and the obscene gash on Diego Sanchez’ forehead for an idea of just how dominant B.J. Penn has been at 155 pounds. 170? Not so much.

Thus the pick is St-Pierre. Entering 2009 with a four-fight winning streak, GSP beat Penn into a corner he would refuse to return from at UFC 94. After his Super Bowl weekend victory, GSP put on a showcase at UFC 100 July 11 against Thiago Alves. Pitted against a noted striker, St-Pierre picked apart The Pitbull, taking him down at will and earning a unanimous decision victory. A groin injury sustained during the fight kept him out of The Octagon for the rest of 2009 but it doesn’t keep him off the top of this list.

Top Fights of 2009 (in no particular order):

Diego Sanchez defeats Clay Guida, split decision, UFC Ultimate Fighter Finale, June 20.
Montemayor – Absolute mayhem. And that was just the first few minutes of the fight. Each fighter is his own special kind of crazy and if Guida can avoid losing his way to irrelevance, the two could meet again soon. One hopes.

CRM – Everyone thought this one would be 15 minutes of madness and it was. Sanchez constantly battered Guida from the beginning and somehow Guida just kept attacking. Oh, the blood. It was beautiful.

Mike Thomas Brown defeats Urijah Faber, unanimous decision, WEC 41, June 7.
Montemayor – Faber broke his right hand in the first round of his five-round title rematch…and fought until the final bell. The injury severely hampered his chances to regain his featherweight belt but it didn’t keep us from watching a classic on free TV. Take notice: The WEC’s featherweight division is one of MMA’s best with champion Jose Aldo (another fighter of the year candidate), Faber (who again gets a shot at the title) and Brown at the top of the division.
CRM – Faber actually broke bones in both his hands fairly early in this one. He continued as only The California Kid can by striking strickly with elbows. With a handicap like that, he still almost did enough to earn a decision. There’s nothing quite like two guys with incredible heart going at one another with a belt on the line.

Benson Henderson defeats Donald Cerrone, unanimous decision, WEC 43 ,Oct. 10.
CRM – See? More heart and another 5-rounder.
Montemayor – Before his Monday night flash submission of Jamie Varner to unify the WEC lightweight championship, Henderson surprised Cerrone in a five-round battle that still leaves one wondering just how “Smooth” escaped from myriad excruciatingly-tight submission attempts to effectively up his fanbase and MMA profile.

Antonio Rodrigo Noguiera defeats Randy Couture, unanimous decision, UFC 102, Aug. 28.
Montemayor – Better late than never. This long-awaited matchup saw Couture escape from a number of submission moves fighters half his age could not survive. But Noguiera, a submission specialist, would be victorious anyway and finds himself back on track in the UFC’s heavyweight division.
CRM – As far as going above and beyond hype, this fight was incredible. This was a tremendous battle between two legends and it gives me hope that Couture-Coleman won’t suck. This fight should have been stopped about 4 times in the first round, but somehow Couture survived only to lose the decision.
Rich Franklin defeats Wanderlei Silva, unanimous decision, UFC 99, June 13.
Montemayor – Great fight in Germany. Contested at a catchweight of 195 pounds, Franklin got the best of a visibly exasperated Silva — the weight drop took its toll — but it didn’t come easy. The two always-game fighters ended by nearly collapsing after trading wild swings in the seconds before the final bell in one of the year’s top highlights.
CRM – Every Rich Franklin fight usually turns out to be a 15 minute war. As long as Anderson Silva isn’t involved, obviously.

Fedor Emilianenko defeats Brett Rogers, second-round KO, Strikeforce: Fedor vs. Rogers, Nov. 7.
Montemayor – Rogers looked like he had it. He really did. He immediately opened a gash on Fedor’s nose and unloaded a flurry of heavy ground-and-pound punches. Yet, as The Last Emperor showed against Arlovski in January, all it took was a right hook from out of nowhere to put the fight in the books and add to Fedor’s resume of felled opponents.
CRM – Brett Rogers almost shocked the world. He looked like he had Fedor, but… ahh. What are you going to do? Its Fedor. Its an honor just to make it out of the first round, but you have to know that its only a matter of time before he finds a way to make you look… so average. At least Rogers is done humping tires for a living.

The 2009 World MMA Awards are tomorrow night on Versus. I have no idea what the show will be like or even if I’ll watch it (not enough shirtless dudes rolling around), but this video made me laugh. Its nice to see Randy trying out his comedic chops for once.