– Todd Bridges (TV’s Different Strokes & Everybody Hates Chris)
– Butterbean (boxer & fighter)
– Dustin Diamond (Saved by the Bell)
– Erin Murphy (Tabitha from TV’s Bewitched)
– Frank Stallone (Sylvester Stallone’s brother)
– Tiffany (80s pop star)
– Nikkie Ziering (former Playboy model)
– Trishelle (Real World)

Perhaps funnier than any given episode is the show’s press release from On Camera Audience:

Think about it for a minute. Seriously. How long have you waited to see 80’s music sensation Tiffany perform a pile driver on The Real World’s Trishelle? Up close. For free. This show is going to make all of your reality television dreams come true in what might be the most entertaining new reality show of the season!

I have thought about it and I’m giddy in some morbid kind of way. My money (and hope) is on Butterbean kicking the crap out of everyone.

While Hulk is filming his “show”, son Nick will remain in jail as his attempt at serving punishment under house arrest was denied. To celebrate, he and his legal team sued the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office Monday for violation of privacy, after his phone conversations were leaked to the public. For the record, all phone conversations in jail are indeed “public”.

I mean, it’s inevitable, right? When the idea of Vick going to jail first occurred to us, I’m sure we all thought of the obvious jokes. Basically, we were all prepared for the real-life equivalent of The Longest Yard.

So it shouldn’t come as a surprise that yesterday a thousand blog posts (supposedly) came true. Via ESPN:

When they choose sides for football games in the yard at the United States Penitentiary in Leavenworth, Kan., Michael Vick is the popular pick.

Twice for the same game, it seems.

He plays for both teams? There must be a ton of happy incarcerated defensive backs in Leavenworth, right now.

In an interview with the New York Daily News, Atlanta Falcons owner Arthur Blank said Vick is playing ball in prison to keep his body in shape, his arm limber and to pass the time.

“Apparently, there was a prison football team and he played quarterback for both sides,” Blank told the Daily News in Monday’s editions.

Did you hear that? Just like the kid that could throw the ball a mile in elementary school, Vick is the all-time-QB . Don’t get the wrong idea though – this isn’t just recess with violent criminals.

The quarterback has written that he is making 12 cents an hour washing pots and pans and playing a lot of football.

So he’s playing a sport and working part-time!

Or is he?

While I was finishing up this post last night, I Googled upon a contradictory story from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution’s Mark “Spoilsport” Davis:

Vick, convicted of federal dogfighting charges in December, arrived at the minimum-security prison in January, said Tracy Billingsley, a spokesperson for the U.S. Bureau of Prisons. He was too late for the football season, which includes only a handful of games.

“They only play [football] in the fall,” she said.

You can keep your facts, Mark Davis. Facts don’t get blogs written and they certainly don’t get sweet photoshops done. So you can give me all the “quotes” from “officials” you want…

Billingsley offered a possible explanation. ‘It’s not unheard-of for inmates to toss around a football,” she said. “But there just are no games until the fall.”

…but I’m going to keep thinking our boy Ron Mexico is running two offenses (poorly) in a jail yard everyday.

And, yes -I know that ESPN now has an instant classic headline up: Report: Vick not playing organized football in Kansas prison.

Tomorrow on The Dot Com: Report: Brady not using birth control in Gisele Bundchen.