“People see dark faces out there, and the perception is that they’re African American,”Los Angeles Angels center fielder Torii Hunter says. “They’re not us. They’re impostors.

“Even people I know come up and say, ‘Hey, what color is Vladimir Guerrero? Is he a black player?’ I say, ‘Come on, he’s Dominican. He’s not black.’ ”

“As African-American players, we have a theory that baseball can go get an imitator and pass them off as us,” Hunter says. “It’s like they had to get some kind of dark faces, so they go to the Dominican or Venezuela because you can get them cheaper. It’s like, ‘Why should I get this kid from the South Side of Chicago and have Scott Boras represent him and pay him $5 million when you can get a Dominican guy for a bag of chips?’

Hunter makes cogent points elsewhere about possible unseen prejudice affecting African-American entry into MLB, such as scouts avoiding underprivileged areas. For the white public, the presence of Caribbean black players may mask the lack of American black players, but the “imposter” comment is still troublesome.

Historically, the enforced African diaspora knew no national boundaries. “Blacks” whether enslaved or oppressed had a depressingly similar experience on multiple continents, wherever they encountered the Western world. Claiming one nationalized version of that experience as legitimate and more worthy of inclusion over others in a culture of diversity is problematic and hurtful.

The league, which makes the idea of the XFL seem as if it were hatched by Harvard scholars, wants 12 cities, but that will never happen. (The league, hopefully, will never happen.) But for fun, we had a “draft.” Four teams, seven players apiece.

The Big Lead

Coach: To ensure the team shoots free throws well – Drew, Brent, and Jon Barry. They were a package deal.

G – Kyle McAlarney, NBDL (via Notre Dame). The Monta Ellis of this team.
G - Jon Scheyer, Duke. Was taken first overall, of course.
F – Kevin Pittsnogle, NBDL (via West Virginia)
F – Josh McRoberts, Indiana Pacers (via Duke). Only making $825k in the NBA. He’d walk away in a heartbeat for the PT.
C – Aaron Gray, Chicago Bulls (via Pittsburgh)

Bench: Jeff Boschee, Unknown (via Kansas). Mr. Basketball North Dakota 1998. A steal in the 6th round of this draft.
Bench: Shavlik Randolph, Unknown (via Duke). Just don’t bring your gayness on him, OK?

***

Cousins of Ron Mexico

Player/Coach: Stephen Douglas – If I had a team, I’d have to play.

G - Jimmer Fredette – BYU – Upstate New York represent! My brother tells me he’s going to lead the nation in scoring next year. Sounds about right.
G - Coby Karl – Boise State / D-League – Coach’s kids are always good to have.
F – Rob Kurz – Notre Dame / D-League – Found him on the D-League website.
F – Cole Aldrich – Kansas – He’s a projected first-rounder. Should clean up in the shitty white league.
C – Craig Forth – Syracuse – Saw him at Verizon a couple months ago. He’s still tall.

Bench: Steve Dagostino – The College of Saint Rose / Euroball – Had to take someone from my school.
Bench: John Bryant – Santa Clara / D-League – Found him on the D-League website.

***

Ty Duffy

Coach: Drafted all gingers.  No one more appropriate than Big Red himself, Bill Walton.

C – Matt Bonner – San Antonio Spurs
F - Brian Scalabrine – Boston Celtics
F – Chase Budinger – Houston Rockets
G - Mike Miller – Washington Wizards
G – Luke Walton – Los Angeles Lakers

Bench: Robert Swift – Currently Unemployed
Bench: Tim Pollitz – Miami Ohio (Graduate)

Drafting Philosophy: No need for speed or agility.  Went for size and follicles that could frighten a small child.

***

Sports Hernia

Coach: Danny Schayes & his clear Oakley Blades

C - Luke Harangody – Notre Dame, such a jokester
F – James Gallagher – UNC, nice Irish kid
F – Ryan Kelly – Duke, good Irish kid (the enthused one at right)
G - Chris Quinn – 0.8 ppg w/ Nets, total gangster
G - Eric Devendorf – Currently being unapologetic somewhere

Bench: Travis Knight – Currently smoking something
Bench: Jack Haley’s towel – Currently waving something

Drafting Philosophy: It was absolutely essential to have a Cabbage Patch Kid from the Fighting Irish, a few disgraces who are actually Irish, and a dick.

AABA commissioner Don “Moose” Lewis claims the restrictions are not racism, but simply providing a forum for whites who are “in the minority now” to play the “fundamental basketball” they enjoy.

Lewis said he wants to emphasize fundamental basketball instead of “street-ball” played by “people of color.” He pointed out recent incidents in the NBA, including Gilbert Arenas’ indefinite suspension after bringing guns into the Washington Wizards locker room, as examples of fans’ dissatisfaction with the way current professional sports are run.

“Would you want to go to the game and worry about a player flipping you off or attacking you in the stands or grabbing their crotch?” he said. “That’s the culture today, and in a free country we should have the right to move ourselves in a better direction.”

The league, based in Atlanta, hopes to play in 12 cities throughout the Southeast. They have not had much luck.

We assume the AABA is unaware that Rasheed “Roscoe” Wallace has one of the most fundamentally sound games in the NBA. We also assume they don’t know their restrictions exclude neither Jews nor those of Arabic descent.

Saw this video floating around on twitter Monday morning (this guy recorded it first). Watched it a couple times, wondered if it was worth a post, and passed. It was almost difficult to tell what he said. He didn’t finish the word. It seemed more awkward than racist. And really, who has ‘coon’ in their lexicon? Anyway, Greenberg put out a statement last night, apologizing for his gaffe.

[Here's where Webber was wondering what went down.]

Vanessa Hudgens … NY Times close to charging for content? … a whole lot of people think Aziz Ansari is funny …Rush Limbaugh: “you have tampons in your ears” … Elvis and Nixon … celebrities weigh in: Conan, Leno or neutral … any lawyers in the house want to chime in? … Mr. Gay China pageant cancelled … another teacher-student hookup, this time in Baltimore … a seeking face transplant … “stripper pole Dad” … Mad Men fun after the jump …

Why is the NHL giving so little to Haiti in comparison to the NFL, NBA, and MLB? (Youth Noise)

We cannot fathom Ed Reed retiring. He’s one of the best defensive playmakers in football. (Baltimore Sun)

Yes, Pittsburgh is off to a hot start in Big East play. But this team’s totally losing in the 2nd round of the NCAA tournament. (Trib-Review)

Is the Buffalo Bills head coaching gig the worst job in the league? (Buffalo News)

Department of awesome: Lane Kiffin’s greatest hits (at Tennessee). (PBP)

Bad news for aspiring writers who don’t have agents. (WSJ)

Slightly tardy: Australian Open preview (SI)

And Maria Sharapova has already been ousted. (Reuters)

More on the death of defensive lineman Gaines Adams. (Trib)

“UF Senior Cornerback Wondy Pierre-Louis is accused of kicking in the door to his girlfriend’s apartment early Sunday morning and becoming enraged after he saw her in bed with another man, police said in a sworn complaint filed on Sunday.” (WCJB)

Doyel must have generated at least 200 negative emails from Tennessee fans after this column. (Losers)

Jerry Stackhouse is all set to sign with the Milwaukee Bucks, who are desperate for guard help after losing Michael Redd for the year. (JS Online)

We said two weeks ago that Connecticut’s NCAA tournament resume was thin, and this loss – Michigan 68, Huskies 63 – certainly didn’t help. (Ann Arbor.com)

Carmelo Anthony scored 37 and the Nuggets moved into a 2nd for second in the West by defeating the Jazz. (Denver Post)

One last overflow Lane Kiffin item: The media vs. the school prior to Kiffin’s brief “I’m out” speech last week.

If you fast-forward to the 6:30 mark, Jim Mora talks about integrity, and then right around 7:05 it appears that he mouths “Pete Carroll” is a cheater.

A mighty impressive dunk. (via Midwest Sports Fans)

Obama and Reverend Wright? Stephen A. Smith is your guy.
Michael Jackson? Call up Stephen A.
Freedom of speech? Smith was ready.

There is much money to be made in the social commentary realm – especially if you are a conservative. Glenn Beck and Sean Hannity are getting paid.

Yesterday, Stephen A. Smith started a second radio career … on Fox Sports. To nudge the show along – he replaced the much-loved Steve Czaban – he posted this inflammatory column ripping Gilbert Arenas for his gun incident in DC.

As much as I’ve tried to disagree with my friend and noted contemporary, Jason Whitlock, who’s repeatedly and vociferously lamented the state of affairs within the Black Community — specifically as it pertains to the negative parts of Hip Hop and its influence on Black culture — it simply cannot be denied any longer.

That would make sense … if Whitlock hadn’t thought the exact opposite, in a column a day earlier.

I spent Friday and Saturday contemplating the significance of an NBA All-Star (Arenas) getting in a six-shooter showdown with a teammate. It would be easy for me, a longtime critic of the gangsta, hip-hop culture seemingly embraced by NBA players, to blast the Arenas-Crittenton dispute as another example of hip hop’s negative influence on basketball culture.

But this doesn’t feel like that. Yeah, I’d probably feel different if shots had been fired. I might feel different if someone other than Arenas had been involved. For lack of a better description, Arenas is eccentric, a real loon. He channels Dennis Rodman far more than 50 Cent.

So Smith is on Fox Radio and writing for Fox Sports.com. And he clearly seems to be making a play for the same niche that Whitlock has been pontificating about for the better part of a decade. Is there room at Fox for both of them?

Stephen A. Smith Begins 2010, Fox Tenure By Channeling Big Sexy (CSTB)

The Top 10 sports moments of 2009. (TIME)

A million photos from the David Ortiz Celebrity Golf Classic. (Red Sox Monster)

Two women are going to try and row across the Atlantic. Naked. (The Sun)

Texas coach Mack Brown has become the first $5 million man in college football. (Statesman)

Read all of Tiger Woods’ text messages to the Las Vegas cocktail waitress. (NY Post)

“Should the NBA assist white players with affirmative action?” There’s a headline. (The Grio)

Major fantasy news: Steve Slaton’s done for the year in Houston. (Chronicle)

Now’s when you’re supposed to break out the violin for the Detroit Tigers. (Freep)

Dwight Howard’s baby mama to be on the VH1 show featuring NBA wives and girlfriends? (Miami New Times via Hot Clicks)

Hoping that Comcast is a “cool alternative” to ESPN. (NSJC)

So did Jon Gruden with in Tampa with Dungy’s players or not? (Joe Bucs Fan)

Bill Hancock – still an idiot. (WRAL Sports Fan)

The next big deal in tennis: 14-year-old Madison Keys. (Herald)

For sports expansion, Los Angeles is the obvious choice. (Portfolio)

This is the American public.