NFL Pigskin Pigsplosion Preview: Week 15

Pick’emsplosion
Last week: CRM (7-6-1) — Lisk (10-5)
Overall: CRM (84-93-10) — Lisk (105-88-12)

Dallas (-7) @ Tampa Bay
Lisk – Raheem Morris should walk out at halftime. (Cowboys -7)

CRM – Tony Romo dates pretty blondes. (Cowboys)

Washington (+7) @ New York Giants
Lisk – The team favored to win the NFC East this year is 3-10 (possibly made up but mostly true). It’s the Giants turn. (Redskins +7)

CRM – Eli Manning married a pretty blonde. (Giants)

Green Bay (-14.5) @ Kansas City
Lisk – Revenge for Super Bowl I, and for generally being better, and for turning my impressionable son into a Packers fan, is coming this week. (Chiefs +14.5)

CRM – If Mark Sanchez can treat the Chiefs like a sorority girl, then Aaron Rodgers is going to… I mean. There will be blood… (Packers)

CRM – Adrian Peterson is playing for his fantasy owners. No one cares. (Saints)

Seattle (+3.5) @ Chicago
Lisk – Marion Barber III will make up for his gaffe last week by staying in bounds with the Bears down 3 late. (Seahawks +3.5)

CRM – What if Tarvaris Jackson was white? (Seahawks)

Miami (+1) @ Buffalo
Lisk – Miami in Buffalo in December used to never be a good idea. (Bills -1)

CRM – The poor Bills don’t even get that home field weather advantage these days. Thanks a lot Global Warming! (Bills)

Carolina (+6.5) @ Houston
Lisk – Houston is still celebrating after qualifying for their first playoff appearance since Keith Cash spiked a ball at the Buddy Ryan poster. Kansas City is still waiting for their first playoff win since that date. (Panthers +6.5)

CRM – Matt Schaub isn’t walking through that door. He will be limping and using crutches though. (Texans)

Tennessee (-6.5) @ Indianapolis
Lisk – The Colts are getting 6.5 at home? that’s like stealing. /guy who has been in coma for last year (Colts +6.5)

CRM – The Colts rebuilding process will be quick and painless. /guy who is still in a coma (Titans)

Cincinnati (-6.5) @ St. Louis
Lisk – The last time the Bengals were this big of a favorite, Chad Ocho Cinco played in the NFL. (Rams +6.5)

CRM – Sam Bradford is so good he doesn’t even need to practice. (Bengals)

Detroit (-1.5) @ Oakland
Lisk – I anticipate that Ndamukong Suh will remove Carson Palmer’s heart like Mola Ram in his return to action, but will show he has changed by immediately placing it in an ice chest for preservation. (Lions -1.5)

CRM – What better way for the Lions to prove they are the new bad boys than to start a brawl with the Raiders? (Lions)

New England (-7) @ Denver
Lisk – Stephen has promised to text me every time Denver punts. I’m holding him to that. (Broncos +7)

CRM – *hyperventilates* *passes out* (Pats)

New York Jets (+3) @ Philadelphia
Lisk – Philadelphia has too slim a chance to start losing again. Win the next two, then go into the Washington game to blow it is the more likely scenario. (Eagles -3)

CRM – Don’t throw batteries at Mark Sanchez. He bruises. (Jets)

Cleveland (+6.5) @ Arizona
Lisk – If Derek Anderson is not tossing the coin for this game, they are doing it wrong. (Browns +6.5)

CRM – Cleveland and Arizona. I always get those cities mixed up. (Browns)

Baltimore (-3) @ San Diego
Lisk – Norv Turner is doing what Norv Turner does best, winning games in the relentless pursuit of 8-8. (Chargers +3)

CRM – Ray Lewis needs to talk Joe Flacco into cornrows. Just saying. (Ravens)

Pittsburgh (+3) @ San Francisco
Lisk – Pittsburgh has 6 rings, while San Francisco has 5. I’m not sure the difference between the two cities is otherwise worth only one ring though. (Steelers +3)

CRM – “Ben Roethlisberger. Has he ever done anything wrong?”

“No.” (Steelers)