Only Thing Keeping FAU From Becoming a National Baseball Powerhouse is a Lack of Porta-Potties

“It sucks,” senior second baseman Mike Albaladejo said. “It smells sometimes. You could only imagine 35 people sharing one Porta-potty. The stench that comes out at the end of the weekend. The only rule that we have is nobody does the number two in there.”

“Dude, we’ve got a Porta-potty and it stinks,” senior outfielder Alex Hudak said. “Man, it smells bad. That’s disappointing. With baseball down here, and having the reputation of a winner, just looking at other Sun Belt Conference schools and schools around the nation, you should have bathrooms. Hopefully, the winning translates to some bathrooms and extra dollars. I don’t think bathrooms cost that much. They’ve got them everywhere, right?”

Former FAU head coach Kevin Cooney thinks knows the current facilities have hurt recruiting.

“We ended up losing very good players in the recruiting process. We still got good players, but we lost some really good players because of our facilities. There was one young man in particular, from a junior college in Texas. For us to get a guy from a junior college in Texas is unusual and unheard of. He was a great third baseman. We were sure he was going to say yes. He came for his visit and his ardor for the program cooled. Finally he said no to coach McCormack. So I called the kid up. I said ‘What happened?’ and he said, ‘Coach, I thought you were serious about baseball.’ He said, ‘No offense, it’s a beautiful field, but the facility, the locker room, cages, it’s not to the level that I want it to be at.’ He ended up going to Baylor which had a new $5 million stadium. This was in ‘04 or ‘05.”

The focal point remains the bathrooms.

“We don’t have a bathroom — for the public or the players. The big upgrade that I got for that facility was, I talked them into putting porta-johns behind the dugouts. I used to go to the bathroom underneath the grandstand against the wall, hoping that people walking down the steps didn’t see me.”

FAU is currently leading the Sun Belt Conference, but it still seems like they are shit out of luck.

[University Press via Cortes]