Dwight Howard's Summer of Fun is Rapidly Approaching

None
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Wait. Hol’ up. Didn’t he say months ago that he’s staying in Orlando next year? The Magic begged him to stay, gave him carte blance, and Howard decided he wanted a new coach and a new GM. Done and done!

As the Dwight turns. The Magic roster is too FUBAR for him to stay, and any coach/GM will be just be D12’s puppet. Any way you slice it, Howard comes out looking awful. If he stays and they lose, it’s on him because he’s the boss and best player. If he leaves, he’s a jerk for ditching the strip mall capital of the world like Shaq did.

Cut your losses, Dwight. Have your deal ready and pull the trigger as soon as something big happens in the football world (or, wait for the week of July 4th, when the media’s at the beach). Take your talents to middle America. Perhaps Houston? There won’t be any pressure there. There never was on Yao, and Tracy McGrady got a yearly free pass despite never getting out of the first round. The Mavericks and Spurs are on the way down; you’ll be the King of Texas! Well, behind Josh Hamilton and Tony Romo.

Previously: Stan Van Gundy Fired By the Orlando Magic
Previously: Dwight Howard Quits Against the Knicks, Keeps Trying to Get Stan Van Gundy Fired
Previously: Dwight Howard Is Willing To Sit Out and Collect Paychecks Until Stan Van Gundy Is Fired