Tigers Pitcher Drew Smyly Diagnosed With Extremely Disgusting Finger
By Tim Ryan
“After extensive testing by a team of leading experts in the field of infectious disease, we’ve determined that Mr. Smyly definitely has Ebola — or, at the very least, an Ebola-like virus — but that, strangely, it is confined to the tip of his left middle-finger and is unlikely to spread further.”
Still, the disgusting blister we’re seeing here looks like something one might contract while sleeping in Dennis Rodman’s bed. It also resembles the egg currently residing on my face.
Our thoughts and prayers go out to Mr. Smyly’s grotesque finger. Carry on.
[via FanGraphs, Victory Formation]